The One in which I whine a lot.
I don’t know what to say today.
Today, has just been one of the most draining days I’ve ever had. We were trying to get a new place, it wasn’t a great place, mind you, but (in my opinion) it was a better place than we’re staying right now. And, it was only going to be a temporary solution while we wait for another place to open up. One we know that we’re going to get.
I think I typed this line in one of my In the Morning Light chapters.
There’s always a ‘but’ isn’t there.
Well, yeah, mother-in-law hated it. She flat out hated it, and pointed out a few things I’m not going to post here. And, it wasn’t a pleasant conversation at all.
Now, I feel lost, by what she said about me, not too me, about me, I feel lost. I know I’m not the best person in the world, and I don’t know what to do to fix that. I don’t know what’s broken inside of me that just makes the world feel heavier than it is. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t.
My typical answer is to turn to writing, to try and fix my problems by burying them under the troubles of people that only exist in my head. I run away, and I hope (using that word loosely) that my writing will pan out, and be successful, and I won’t have to worry about the damn bill collectors, or if I’m not providing enough for my family. Hell, I just want to feel like I’m pulling my own weight. I want to make the ends meet.
People will tell me, and maybe it’ll show up in the comments section, that it gets better. All I ask is when? When does it get better? When can I stop worrying about all these things? When can I stop worrying and enjoy life? Because, right now I just want to quit the game.
I shouldn’t be unloading this on you all, and it would probably be better if I deleted this post right now. But. But. I don’t know.
On a lighter note, our water is still out, so Cold Shower is up to 70-80k words. Maybe it will make it to the epic level. Personally I hope not. At the rate I’m going it would take almost 12 more days to get to the definition of an Epic novel. And, I can’t go without hot water that long, not to mention that I don’t know if I can write something 200,000 words long.
Typing is going good on In the Beginning. If I keep it up I’ll be done with it tomorrow. Then I’ll use Sunday to make corrections to it, and get the cover design off to my artist. Then I’ll work on Cold Lunch for awhile, and when it gets closer to January I’ll start to freak out, and try to get the formatting done, the formatting for each of the major retailers (putting it up personally at Amazon, B&N, and iBooks), then using Smashwords to get it out to the rest of the retailers.
Hopefully, I’ll make some money off of it. I sound like a hack, but I really want this to work out. I really do. I want life to work out.
Sorry about whining so much.
Snowflake Completion: N/A
Pages Written Today: 0
Pages Written Total: 18
Pages Typed Today: 7 (single spacing)
Pages Typed Total: 24 (single spacing)
Word Count Today: 3,914
Word Count Total: 11,472
Advertising: Today I’m sticking with the name of this blog. Crazy people are a blast to be around, sometimes, find some crazy friends, or one friend who’s really crazy, and have a party. And, drink a beer or two for me.