Sunday, June 30, 2013

Journal 6-29-13

Today started at 4am, and it hasn't stopped.

Today was my last scheduled day before vacation, so naturally it dragged on and on and on. But, yeah, it's over now, and for the next week I don't have to worry about McDonalds.

That's a positive.

And on the negative side of the field I have to move. Lol.

It's not a very big move. Maybe twenty or thirty yards, but there are things about it that concern me. The likelihood that everything will run nice and smooth, and we can move in starting tomorow, is not going to be happ...

And, that's when I fell asleep. See. I was too exhausted to finish my post. 

Anyway, been working on the move and I'm sore as hell. Spent the better part of the day painting, and the rest of it burning the old crap that came out of the house prior to the renovations.

I wanted to keep painting too. Finish up the walls down where they meet the floor. But by that point I was hurting too bad to bend over. 

Going to take it easy till 1 or so. Then see about more painting/moving our stuff in.

So for now I will say ciao. And hopefully I won't forget to write a post for tomorrow.


Thursday, June 27, 2013

Journal: 6-26-13

It is not my fault I didn't post yesterday.

Yes, it was my fault I didn't post the day before. At least, I think I didn't post the day before... I can't really remember right now.

Anyway, I cannot be held accountable.

The internet went out. I don't know why, but there was a statewide internet blackout for any consumer who used Frontier as their provider. I don't know why it happened. I would like to know why it happened. But, whatever the cause, I don't mind too much. When we got internet back again, it was moving at the actual full speed we're supposed to be getting (3 megs down, I think) instead of hovering around the middle marker.

But, yeah, I probably wouldn't have posted yesterday anyway. I had been busy packing, and moving, and helping lay the floor down in our new place, and I hadn't given much thought to posting anything at all. I'm not even sure if I put any new HubPages material up. And, what I just finished setting up to post wasn't even written today. It was an article I wrote almost four months ago, and just now remembered. So, yeah.

As for today's activities, I kept them pretty slim. I tore the carpet out of one of the bedrooms in the new place to set up for putting down the new floor. I moved some of the owners stuff out of the back room and onto the back porch, so that when we get the flooring done in there we can start moving our stuff in. That will be either tomorrow or Friday.

I'm hoping for tomorrow. I'm eager to get out of this hell hole and into a home where I can really feel at home. That's something I don't think I've felt since we moved out of the apartment in Athens...

And, I am going to publicly swear to each and every one of you, that I am going to be responsible for the upkeep of our new home. I will make sure it is clean. And, I will be the one doing the necessary and unpleasant yelling when something isn't done.

Just kidding.

But, I will be the one making the chore chart, and thus it will be my responsibility to see it filled out and completed.

Also, I'm going to have a new writing room SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, I think I'm going to set my desk up in the closet. Lol. i don't know why. It's a good sized closet, not a walk in, but it's certainly a place where I can disappear from the rest of the world. And, if I feel like pretending to be Doctor Who, it can be my Tardis :) And, now I have to paint the door blue.

That reminds me. I need to go and buy the paint for my room. Seeing as I'm special, and want it a different color than the rest of the house.

God, I can't wait.

Anywho, I'm going to cut this off now. I'll talk to you all laters.


Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Journal: 6-24-13

So, I almost wrote fourteen instead of thirteen for the year, and I was like, why in gods name do I want it to be a year from now!?! I mean, I'd be okay with it, if at that point in time, I was a full-time freelance/blogger/novelist/writer thing. Yup. That would be okay with me.

But, there are a lot of changes that are going to occur in the next twelve months, hell, I literally won't be sitting where I'm sitting at right now this time next month.

We're moving, the first of the changes I suspect. And, within the coming month (by July 14th to be exact) we have to be in our new place. Which shouldn't be hard. It's literally on the same property we're on. It's just owned by a much nicer landlady. She's been renovating this thing for a while, since she got her modular home in back in December. And, the work is now at its apogee. just a few more things, and the house will be livable. There will be a few things that will have to be done after we move in, such as painting, and kitchen cabinets, and... I think those are the only two actually. But, yeah, it's pretty much done.

The other change I'm sensing on the wind is my job. I plan on, within the next couple of weeks, to have a better job, either in travel time, meaning less money spent on gas, or a job that pays more than what I make right now.

And, of course, I'm going to continue to try and figure out how to make money online with my own writing. HubPages is just the tip of the ice burg. I need to find out how it ticks, then I'll take that information to another site that's similar in nature. And, another. And, another. And, another. I might monetize here, and do things a wee bit differently. I don't want to get rid of these posts. I like the here's what I did today posts that I do. The little posts that make it feel like I journal. But, what I might do is monetize the blog, and begin posting things like my fiction and fanfiction and what not on here. I don't know yet, though.

If I did try to turn this into a money making machine, what would you all suggest?

  • Keep the blog as is, just add ads to it.
  • Make a new blog, one for fiction, fanfiction, and advertisements while leaving this one alone.
  • Add what you want, and try to use the pages system to make navigating the site a little bit more easy.
  • Talk to Kristen about getting my WordPress website going, then worry about monetizing that site. Or something like that.
Yeah, I really don't know. Its frustrating. And, I'm not very good at this.

I need to do some research on this type of career, and see how other people pull it off before I get myself in way too deep.

Anywho, good night.


Monday, June 24, 2013

Journal 6-23-13

Hello, tots and taters, how are you all doing today?


I'm tired, and I really need to find my way to bed. Like now. And, seeing as it is 2am I will be making my way to bed quite shortly. I just thought I'd stop in and see how the day went.

My day was pretty damn good. Got to sleep in. Got to go over to Matt and Kayla's. There was good company, great food, and horseshoes. Matt and I stomped our lady friends. It's only the natural order of things. Then we came home, and I complained about not getting a Hub written. So, I wrote a Hub. And, I just published it. I'll be asleep by the time it hits facebook and twitter, but I'll be sure to post those links again when I get up. And, I need to post links to my fanfiction stuff.

And, I've been thinking. I'm posting my fanfiction on Deviant Art and, and I'm trying to generate traffic here. But, I typically use this as little more than a place to recount my daily adventures. So, I might just start posting those stories here. Maybe make my blog stand out a bit more, put it on more search engines and what not, and get some followers...

I don't know. My mind just stopped.

Anyway, I'm going to take a nap now. Talk at you kids later.


Sunday, June 23, 2013

Journal 6-22-13

New Stuff.

What new stuff I don't know. It really just seemed like a good thing to say. But, I will admit that my lack of posting isn't new, unfortunately. Nope. That's good old fashioned normal Ryan, I'm afraid.

Anyway, I'll move on to a different topic so that I can avoid getting beaten.

(Cowers behind chair, hiding from the wrath of Melanie. lol)

Yeah, I'm actually kind of hyper right now. Which is kind of bad. It's 1:26am and I need to lay down. I need to sleep. But, I don't want to. Tomorrow is my day off, and I want to spend it languishing in bed, not having to worry about anything. Except for the fact that, that plan wouldn't work. Nope, I'd have to get up at some point. We've got another room or two to clean in the spree, some more packing to do, and more praying that our new place is going to be ready by the 14th. As usual, Mel's optimistic about it, and I'm being rather cynical.

Beyond that though, I've gotten nothing done. Lol.

Not really though. I've just been focusing on different things. I'm trying to turn blogging, or something similar into a full time gig, and right now, I'm working on building my "portfolio" on HubPages (I've got more links that I need to add to my page), and so far I've done three more Hubs than what I had done already. Lol.

Yeah, it's not going very fast.

I have learned, however, that I'm not one of those people who can sit down and write an article in thirty minutes. For one, I don't think that's enough time, mainly because I don't write that fast. And, my style of writing has a tendency to run on the long side. Like I'm just a long winded writer.

I dunno.

I don't know what to post here half the time though. It's hard to sit down, and find something to talk about. Stories, god, stories are so easy to write, after a fashion. They flow so well some times, running like water out of a faucet. Other times its like wringing out a rock. And, that's what it's like to write these articles on HubPages. Wringing out a rock. I like writing, and I don't mind writing reviews, but it's not something I want to turn into a living.

But, so far, my review articles have brought the most views to my pages and what not. So, I'm going to go ahead with the things that seem to make more money. Which means writing more reviews. Writing more reviews, and pushing towards a high number of review articles, around a hundred or so I'd say, then try to focus on other more fun things to write about. Or rewrite those reviews and post similar articles on some of the other revenue sharing sites. I could even enable adds on here, but I don't know what that would turn out like. I don't know what would be advertised. And, I don't know if I want adds here. It seems like inviting the boss over for dinner, and then showing him your piles of dirty laundry.

This is kind of a space where I unwind. I'm not so sure I want to try and turn it into a revenue generating site. That would probably mean having to do things I don't want to do. And, this is the place where I do what I want. I don't know.

We'll see what's down the road, and if there's anywhere down there that makes a little bit of money.

God, I feel like a Hack.

And, with that, I bid you good night.


Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Journal 6-18-13

Up since six.

So, today's been a pretty good day, all together. I'm tired as I sit here writing this, but it's midnight and I've been up since six. And, I'm going to get up again at six. So, I need to be getting to bed soon. But, I figured I'd come here and rant about life for a little while.

Anyway, trying to get my thoughts in order here.

The big thing I did today was pretty much nothing. I worked on one of my stories, one for my fantasy realm. And, I worked on my DnD adventure, also for my fantasy realm, but that's besides the point. And, then I got the mail, went to the gas station, got cigs, the whole wonderful load.

Yeah, my heads really out in the clouds today.

Anywho, my big thing is this. I read an article on HubPages by kksonakia and in the article she was talking about turing righting on HubPages into a full time job. And, her answer was simple, treat it like it's a full time job. Work at it 6-8 hours a day posting roughly 12 (she breaks it down in the article, saying it takes roughly 30 mins to write an article) articles, and do that for three months straight. No days off, no vacations, nothing in that three months, just hard core article posting. And, that would produce over a thousand articles. That seems like a pretty damn good platform to stand on. The problem I see with it is me.
I don't think that I could do it. (And, yes, that defeats me right  off the bat.) But, I've tried to push like that before, to produce 6000+ words a day, it wears you out, and I wouldn't have the luxury of having the whole day to do the articles. I would have to go to work, work eight hours a day, then come home and work another six, and that just sounds like murder. So, I really don't know.

I want to do it, don't get me wrong, that would be an awesome setup. The way she describes it. Write your ass off for 3 months posting a thousand plus articles, then do little more than half an hours work every day thereafter, and not have to worry about a job, part time or otherwise. Yeah, get payed a lot for as little work as possible. That, ladies and gents, is my dream job.

But, here's another thing. I'm going to have to modify what I'm writing about, a little anyway. I'll need to change my tactics to focus more on articles that hit SEOs, whatever the hell those are, and reviews and up to date stuff. That kind of puts me out of the field I like to write in. Meaning, instead of writing about writing, I'd be writing about well, everything else. To an extent I'm okay with that, but I joined HubPages because I wanted to get my writing out there, mainly my fiction, and my mildly eclectic writing about writing. I don't know guys.

I'm going to do it, maybe cutting it down to three hours a day and stretching it out over six months instead of three, and trying to focus on the types of articles I want to write. I dunno. I guess my goal for tomorrow is six Hubs. Lol. We'll see if that happens or not. Lol.


Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Journal 6-17-13

So, I did it again. I didn't write the post last night, but since I woke up early enough to hit it within ten/fifteen minutes of my typical post time, I figured I wouldn't be too hard on myself.

Anywho, what did I do yesterday?

I worked 9-5.

I took a walk in a new direction.

I made a map.

It's for my DnD adventure, it's the site of the first encounter. And, yes, it does look like it was made by child who just learned how to use paint. That is pretty much the extent of my artistic skill when it comes to drawing. I would also like to add that I'm planning on getting map making software at some point, map making specifically for DnD, and I hope that will improve my abilities. For now, though, my players are going to have to deal with the artwork of a three year old.

And, it took me until this morning to realize that the map was in color. This wouldn't be a problem, normally, but I've got a laser printer that uses toner, it doesn't print in color...

Yeah, and that was pretty much the extent of what I did yesterday. I wrote maybe four little bits and pieces about the second encounter. I also did some more world-building work. I made an entire kingdom. Number of towns, town names, population. There are still a few bits that I haven't come up with, but the better part of the work is done. And, what's crazy, is I'm looking forward to making each of those towns, and finding things about them that will make interesting story seeds/hooks. I should note, that this is also crazy since the likelihood that I will use these towns in game is almost nill. I might use some of them, but I definitely won't use all of them.

As for progress on my articles or Cold Lunch, I've got nothing to report. Yup, still been poking at the stories I've got for my DnD campaign. Specifically the novella, I don't know, but I already like where it's going, and I kind of like the fact that I don't know where that is.

Anywho, I'm going to check out for the day. I will talk to you cats and kids later.


PS: I did get one of my articles typed and posted though. Level 5 Review of Neverwinter's the title, check it out if you want :)

Monday, June 17, 2013

Admission: 6-16-13

Being Honest

So, being honest, I didn't write a post yesterday. In fact, in the last three or four days I've only written one post. I dislike the fact, but I'm not going to complain about it now. There's no reason too.

Anyway, my brain has been scrambled, and I find it almost completely impossible to focus on one thing at a time. Like my DnD adventure. I've got the story hook, seeds, and the first encounter written. Now, trying to work on the second encounter I draw a total blank. I want to work on this. I want to play Dungeons and Dragons sometime in the next week or two. Get the game started at the very least. Bah. I don't know.

And, the things that have been distracting me are other things I love. I've got three story ideas that are demanding attention. And, they're based off of my favorite moments in DnD. (I think I'm going to do a HubPages article on those moments.)

One is in the planning stages; I'm trying to get to know the characters and the story, fleshing it out, and working it out in my mind before I try to put pen to paper, even to start the Snowflake outline.

The second is a short story. Like most of my short stories it's a seat of the pants story, I'm just letting it take me where the story wants to go. No doubt I'll give it a second draft, and then try to get it published in one magazine or another.

The third is a novella based on a game played with an old friend. I still have to ask permission to use a lot of the plot elements, but I think he'll say yes. And, I think this is going to be one of the best damn stories I've ever written. At the moment it is also a seat of the pants story, letting it take me where it wants, with a vague idea of where it's going. I'll definitely outline it for the second draft, and that's if not having an outline doesn't drive me insane before I get to the end of the first draft.

There was something else I wanted to mention, but I can't remember what it was. Guess it was just a brain fart.

Anywho, I've got to get ready for work, so that's it for the day. Later tots and taters.


PS: I meant to bemoan my lack of article writing and lack of work on Cold Lunch, but I don't feel much like complaining right now. So, I'll leave it at that.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Journal 6-14-13

Morning ladies and gents. I don't have long, I'm writing this after my bed time so I'll just say a few things, and we'll get on with our day.

First, I've missed a day or two, I know, but I'm going to blame work for it. I've been scheduled earlier shifts than I'm used too, and (though Mel tries her best to off set this) I wind up not going to sleep when I should. It's my own personal stubbornness as much as it I insomnia. So, when I get home I'm exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally (I work at McDs with a social anxiety disorder, I'm an emotional wreck everyday father work). So, I don't want to do anything.

And, on that note, let's talk about productivity. It's way down. I was talking to my doc on Weds, and I set a productivity oal of seven hubpages articles, and seven scenes on Cold Lunch. Well, its Friday, and I should have what, six out of seven articles done? Yeah. I've got two. So, tomorrow, if I want to hit my goal of seven articles, then I'll need to write five of them. Plus one scene for Cold Lunch, and I hardly doubt that happening.

And,I didn't post my fanfiction yesterday. I honestly forgot about doing it until I sat down to write this. And, I'm laying in bed typing this on my iPad, and I'm not getting out of bed for the sake of fanfiction. Also, I didn't type and post the article I was supposed to put up on hubpages today. That was laziness.

Anywho, the wife has caught me conscious, so I'm off to dreamland, I'll fill you in on the rest of the day, tomorrow sometime.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

The Black Hole's Teeth

  1. Pursuit
  2. Passage
  3. Drifting

Admission: 6-13-13

So, I completely forgot to write a blog post last night. I was so hyped up that I was being productive (I got an article and a half done) that the thought of posting went right out the side of my head.

Anyway, I got an article and a half written yesterday. I'm going to finish that half article today, and I'm going to do my best to write another two articles. And, I probably won't be going for my walk today. It's been pissing cats and dogs here on and off today, and supposedly there's supposed to be a derecho on the way. I don't even know how to pronounce that word. Anywho, that's my reasoning for not going on my walk.

As for what else I did yesterday. There wasn't much. I went to my doc's appointment, had a good chat with her, and came back home.

I did turn in two of my applications. But, I couldn't find the printer cable to get my resume printed off. I was going to staple that to the application. Try and make myself look a little better. I'll do it for the other three though, if I can find the damn cord. I might even take the resume into the locations I already turned the apps in. It still might make me look better than other applicants. And, I don't even know if they're hiring. I hope they are. I want out of McDonalds hard core.

And, that was yesterday in a nutshell. So, now, I'm considering a nap, after I get my article done.



Wednesday, June 12, 2013

In the Morning Light Fanfiction Links

  1. Chapter 1
  2. In the Morning Light
  3. On Scene
  4. The First Present
  5. Bo's New Case
  6. The Second Kiss
  7. Missing and Presumed Dead
  8. Confirmed Dead
  9. Another Gift
  10. Messenger
  11. Coffee and an Ear
  12. I Ain't Been Dropping No Eaves
  13. Tequila was Involved
  14. Lots and Lots of Photos
  15. Getting Ahead in Life
  16. Kenzi Freaks
  17. The Appeal
  18. A Hunting We Will Go
  19. The Show Must Go On
  20. Seen but Not Seeing
  21. Werewolves: A History
  22. Puppy Snatching
  23. Hospital
  24. No More Tricks
  25. The Theater
  26. Gone Missing
  27. A Little Humanity... Maybe
  28. A Phone Call
  29. The Silver Knife
  30. Epilogue
  31. Exposition

Journal 6-11-13

She’s ALIVE!!!

If you were paying attention to Mel’s status updates, then you saw that Button got an emergency trip to the vet yesterday, and we are happy to report that she is okay. And, the excitement was all caused by an allergy to fleas…

Yup. Button is severely allergic to them, so allergic in fact that she breaks out all over, over grooms, scratches until the bites pop, tears clumps out, and she managed to pick up an infection too. Lymph nodes in her stomach had swollen up to the size of golf balls in what had to be a matter of hours. Those swollen nodes were what caused the freak out, which was a necessary freak out, and got Button the medicine she needs to get better. As well as a way to take care of her, and the other cats.

But, yeah, I thought she was gone. Even before we’d left for Charleston I’d resigned myself to the fact that my kitten wouldn’t be coming home alive. I gave up, and I turned off. If I hadn’t, I don’t know how last night would have gone. I’m thankful it wasn’t what we thought it was, and I’m thankful that she’s still here with me today, even if she’s a cranky little animal. And, entertaining or not, I think I’m going to make some more videos of her. That will make me feel better. Yeah, I think that will make me feel better.

I don’t have anything else to report for the day, except that I’m extremely hair brained. I’ve been trying to get ahead of where I need to be on articles so I can get some time to work on Cold Lunch. Well, yesterday, I got a wild hair up my ass to write a DnD adventure. (This was before the problems with Button.) So, I managed to spend today much the way I spent my first two semesters of college, flipping back and forth through game reference books to put an adventure together. In the end, I’ve got a town of two hundred and twenty-three people statted out, the hook and story seeds for the adventure, and one of the monsters in the first encounter done. I could have had one, maybe two articles written and typed. Then I’d be ahead of schedule. As it is, I’ll be scrambling when I wake up to get tomorrow’s typed, and posted.

On a lighter note, I read the Open Gaming/Game License or something like that. Basically, it’s a law that allows content creators to publish content relating to such and such game without getting explicit permission from the copyright holder, or trying to get the material published through said copyright holder’s company. That means, after a little bit of game testing, you’ll be able to buy a Ryan Smith original 3.5 edition d20 fantasy role playing adventure. I think I’ll try to come up with a shorter description for it. Like a Ghost Co. Games adventure, or something like that.

I dunno.

Anywho, I think it is past time for bed. I’ll talk to you cool cats later.


PS: I know I’m a nerd.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Journal 6-8-13


So, I’m bored. Lol.

Yeah, it’s 10:15pm, I have to be up for work at 5 and at work by 6, so I’m going to be going to bed here in just a little while. I do have a few things I would like to talk about in our short time together, though.

First, I’d like to apologize. I was unnecessarily violent in my post yesterday. That’s not to say that I’m sorry I said it. I’m an author, I can see those terrible dark hallways the human mind can travel down, and I’m gifted with the ability to describe violence in extreme detail. I like being able to do that. And, yesterday, I could see the anger I felt, the bloody waves of red that fell over me while they were ridiculing the dead. I couldn’t stand it. So, I lashed out in writing.

Instead of blasting it all up over my blog, I should have used that anger to fuel a short story; something about zombies rising from the grave to punish those who don’t respect the dead. Now, I don’t know if that avenue is still open. Oh, I could write the story, but I’m not sure if it would have the same fire and passion that I felt yesterday while writing that post.

C’est la vie.

As for my next point… I’m thinking about going to school again. This time I’m thinking about psychology, Forensic Psychology and Investigation. The course is at Southern Community and Technical College, and I’m hoping to be able to 4.0 the entire thing, fixing the major screw-ups that occurred my first time through school. Well, maybe not fixing, but it will put me back on the right path. It might get me a nice little office job, and I might qualify for a master’s program. That latter is the real reason I want to go back. With my current GPA, which shall remain unstated, I don’t qualify for any master’s program. Well, I could, but I would have to go through Phoenix and the only master’s I’d want through them would be psychology. Phoenix, with its online courses, doesn’t give the clinical experience that you would need to go into practice. So, I figure I’ll do this, find a good job, then go through with my masters, and get into practice.

And, all of that is moot if my writing career takes off first.

If you haven’t noticed I’ve been putting some work in on HubPages, which is a revenue sharing site based on traffic ads and what not. Basically, it’s paying to blog. I’ve been trying to get my fiction, and my articles on writing to turn a profit. And, they’ve done a fair job. But, the one video game review I did has turned out much better, lol. So, I guess I’m going to be doing some more video game reviews.

Anybody have any suggestions or requests.


Don’t forget to check out my latest postings:

The Black Hole’s Teeth Chapters 1 and 3
In the Morning Light Chapter 6
And, my debut on YouTube

Saturday, June 8, 2013



So, I realized I completely forgot to do a post yesterday. :(

Yeah, it sucks, but, it’s not the end of the world. So, much as I put emphasis on my list of things to do, I still did my hygiene thing yesterday and took my walk, so I missed one out of three. Today, I tried harder. And, I won. I got all three done. Well, in the process of getting it done.

I learned something about myself yesterday. Setting the scene, I was at work and the guys were making your mother jokes. Not the your momma’s so fat jokes, but the ones that end in sexual innuendoes or the ones that start with sexual innuendoes and end in your mother. Either way, they were flying around like flies on a corpse, and all of them were directed at this one particular employee.

Now, normally I don’t give a shit about those jokes or the jibes they throw at one another. But, this employee’s mother had died two weeks ago… Yeah, zero g**d*** respect for the dead. It got under my skin, wrapped itself around my spine, and drove itself like a knife into my brain. I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to take each one of them and grind their faces into the grill until they begged the dead for forgiveness.

Yeah, that makes me sound like a completely sane person.

But, can you understand where I’m coming from. It wasn’t my mother they were talking about, but if it was I’d be in jail right now, probably for multiple counts of assault and battery, malicious wounding, and attempted murder. That’s how much it bothered me. And, I think what made it worse was the employee whose mom died, yeah, he was making the same f***ing jokes. I didn’t realize I could get that bad.

Anyway, moving on, today was great! Mel and I went up to Charleston for a bit, hung out in Books-a-Million and ate at Olive Garden. So, yeah, all of you can be jealous. Jealous, jealous, jealous.


I’m hungry now.

Thinking about Olive Garden too much.

Anywho, I guess I’m going to get something to eat, and check out for the night.



PS: Don’t forget to check out HubPages, deviantArt (here and here and here too), and


Thursday, June 6, 2013

Journal 6-5-13

Once again.

Bam. Bam. Bam.

Got all three of them pretty much right in a row. When I got back from my walk, I sat down and journaled for a little bit, but after about a page and a half I was up and in the midst of my hygiene duties. And, now, I’m sitting here writing a blog post. Feels good doesn’t it.

Speaking of feeling, I’ve felt pretty good today. It’s crazy right? I had a few down moments, but nothing major to report on.

My Hubs are doing good.

I’ve got the whole of the first quarter of The Black Hole’s Teeth typed up, and all I need to do now is start posting them. The first one will go up on Friday (Well, the third one), and will be available on both devArt and Watch here and my Facebook page for the publication times; I’ll post direct links to the stories.

As for Cold Lunch… Well… It’s still kind of dead in the water. I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong with me about Cold Lunch, and trying to work out a sort of schedule that will smooth out all of my writing and make it possible for me to focus on my fiction again. Instead of struggling to get my Hubs out on the days I want them to be published. I know what I want to do; it’s doing it that’s turning out to be a pain in the ass. I’m good for that, especially when there’s an addictive video game involved. Cough… Cough…STO… Cough.

And, not really surprising at all, it’s easier to sit back and play a video game, than it is to sit up and work on a story, or an article, or anything else that requires about five minutes of discipline.

I’m trying to use the game as a sort of rewards system, similar to this Hub, but so far, I’ve been unable to resist the temptation, and have been turning the game on as soon as I get a chance. It will take a little bit more discipline, I’m sure, but I think I’ll be able to best it. I’ve been doing good with my list of things to do, and really, writing is just one more thing I want to do. I just have to get around my short attention span. Lol.

Anyway, I can’t really think of any other major topic for the day. So, I’ll talk to you kids later.


Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Journal 6-4-13

Bam. Bam. Bam.

Ladies and gentlemen, I managed to do all of the items on my things to do list, one right after the other today. This makes me feel accomplished.

Other than that, today was uneventful and kind of shitty at the same time. Still on an emotional rollercoaster I suppose.

Basically, I want to go to the beach, and once again, we can’t afford to go to the beach.

It really shouldn’t be a surprise to me, as I don’t have a job that makes any kind of money at all, let alone one that gives paid vacations. So, yeah, hanging the whole zero trips to the beach thing on my head. I usually do, and if I’d made other choices, realized things sooner, and got my shit straight, then we wouldn’t be in this position. We wouldn’t have been in this position ever, and we could have been going to the beach all this time.

Paid vacations…

Good paychecks…

I’m just a wonderful ball of happy today, aren’t I?

Anyway, I’m not sure I’ve got anything positive to talk about at all today…

I have been helping with the trailer that we’re going to move into, and I got to rip carpet up today. Lol. It’s a good stress reliever. Giving one hard yank after the other, and it’s a good thing to do to keep your mind busy instead of letting it wander. I’ll probably be doing something similar tomorrow. Honestly, I like it; I’d rather be doing this and working towards getting our new place ready, then sitting in the dark feeling sorry for myself. It’s healthier.

As for other fun things: I want to throw my computer through a window. The overheating issues have returned, and I can’t get more than ten or fifteen minutes of game play out of it before it goes down. I need to get one of those cans of air, but I really don’t feel like driving to Walmart tonight.

And, there’s my story. My super blockbuster Star Trek story, I still haven’t thought of anything (other than a few small bits, here and there) but I have no idea if it will do any good at all when trying to introduce Star Trek to a new audience.


Also, I don’t know why I’m worried about getting the Star Trek script/story written. I haven’t done anything at all to finish Cold Lunch. Seriously, it’s been what, three weeks since I posted PJ# 40. I should have had the third quarter finished by now. And, I should be about ready to start on the fourth. Oh good lord, I hate this crap.

Anywho, I’m going to stop whining, and go and do something productive. Maybe.


PS: I made a page to keep my HubPages links on. Check it out, and check out my Hubs :) There isn’t nearly as much whining there as there is here. Lol.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Journal 6-03-13

Ladies and gentlemen…

Please forgive the interruption in our programming as of late. The writer has been under the weather (he still is, but at least now he has an umbrella), and has not been able to do much of anything besides sleep. He didn’t get any of his list of things to do done over the weekend. So, he is upset right now.

And, I think I’ll stop talking in the third person there. It’s kind of creepy.

Anyway, for one reason or another, I’ve had a shitty weekend. Physically, emotionally, and mentally.  Between a headache that’s lasted for the last three days, a getting sick to my stomach due to the weather (and the fucking grill at work), my nerves have been frayed to the breaking point. I counted four times today where my mouth almost broke loose; four times I nearly lost my job, today. Yesterday was worse. Thankfully, I am still employed, and impressed by my self control.

But, I’ve been an emotional wreck, probably caused by the constant seesawing of the headache and the stomach problems along with the irritation. I’ve been in the dumps today, dragging, and just wanting to curl up in a corner.

I don’t know sometimes.

Anyway, I’m sure you don’t want to listen to me bitch for the entire length of this blog post, so I’ll find something else entertaining to talk about…

How about the new Star Trek movie?

Anybody seen Star Trek Into Darkness?

I saw it, I liked it, but I thought it was kind of generic. Super terrorist, (SPOILER ALERT!!!) Kahn Noonien Singh, is attacking Starfleet and threatening the lives of all those living on the planet Earth; he starts blowing shit up, and the crew of the USS Enterprise gives chase. There are more explosions, impassioned shouting, space fights, sacrificial acts of heroism, and in the end the bad guy was caught and the world was saved.

If I took out the part about Kahn and Starfleet, you probably wouldn’t have been able to tell if I was talking about Iron Man 3, or hell, pretty much any other “blockbuster” this year. That’s why I said it was generic.

And, that bugs me.

Star Trek shouldn’t be generic.

So, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking since I saw the movie (probably about two weeks ago now), and wondering how I could go about breathing new life into Star Trek, turning it into the blockbuster JJ Abrams, Paramount, and by extension, CBS, want the series to be. I’d also like to see another television show launched, as I feel TV is the true medium for Star Trek. It’s where they found all of their original success.

Now, I’m pretty sure I could come up with a badass story involving the crew of the Enterprise and probably some new crew for another ship for the new television series (see the work I’m doing for Assimilation Nation on HubPages, and The Black Hole’s Teeth on, but there are a number of problems I can foresee, and probably a million others I can’t.

1.       Don’t know how to write a script
2.       Not sure what’s popular with the 18-25 demographic
3.       Not sure what age range I should aim for
4.       No idea how to write a script
5.       No idea how to plan out a television show
6.       No idea how to write a script for said television show

I could probably go on like that for a while. My head is starting to hurt again, though. So, I’m going to check out for the day.

Later kids.


Saturday, June 1, 2013

Journal 5-31-13

I did it!

I finally managed to actually do it!

And, you’re a perv…

Anyway, I managed to do my list of things to do one right after the other. I just took my walk, did my hygiene duties, and now I’m sitting at my computer writing my blog post. I feel accomplished.

I just don’t know what to talk about now. I’ve been giving you “a day in the life of” sort of posts since I came back from the beyond. My views jumped sky high (for me anyway) and now they’ve dropped back down to 15 or 16 a day.

What happened?

Do I not post enough funny pictures about cats?

Or do I bitch too much?

I probably bitch too much. I’m good at that.

I am going to think of an interesting topic though. Right now… it’s going to be a good one… and all I can think of is the dude who ate the homeless guy’s face down in Florida. I’m not sure if that’s an interesting topic anymore or not. I think it’s creepy as hell, but it’s just one of those insane things that people do. There was another story that came out around the same time as the “face eater” and it was a guy who was cutting open his stomach for some reason, and when the police tried to help him, he started throwing his intestines at the cops. What the hell?

I don’t know.

What goes through these people’s minds? Do they plan this shit? Or is it completely random? And, if it’s random, what breaks in the brain to make it happen? And, I think we see those sort of issues on a small scale each and every day. I don’t mean people who are going to eat your face, or throw intestines at you, but what about the people who cut and burn themselves? Is the pain a release? A cry for help? What makes you want to do such a thing?

I had an experience similar to that before. I’ve got a huge burn on my hand that I tell everyone is because I touched my hand to a hot engine block. But, it’s not an accidental burn. It was a cigarette, one that was applied time and time and time again until there was no way to feel the pain I was inflicting. I can tell you now, I don’t know why I didn’t. It was like I wasn’t me, and I was just watching it happen, like it was on television.

Is that what happens when somebody cuts, or burns? Do they watch themselves do it from the outside, like they’re watching some person, some other, destroy their skin and send pain travelling up and down their arm? Is that a release?

I didn’t feel any sort of release after my burn. I looked at my hand and knew it should hurt, but I didn’t feel anything. I didn’t gain anything from the situation except for a scar I lie about. And, now, the scar breeds empty curiosity. I look at it and think; why did I do that? Was there a reason? Was there ever a reason? I don’t know the answers to those questions.

And, that became a really serious topic without me meaning too. I’m sorry about that.

Anywho, I am currently working on typing my next Hub, so the link will be on my Facebook page tomorrow at some point. If twitterfeed doesn’t do it automatically, then I’ll go in and post it by hand. Also on the writing front, I’ve got most of another article written :) I still haven’t worked on Cold Lunch. I think I’m avoiding it. I dunno.

That’s all for today. I shall talk to you cats later.