Thursday, June 19, 2014

Bad Wolf, story stater...

So, what follows is the first little segment I wrote of the novel I'm working on for publication later this year. I wrote this about two years ago, and am just now getting back to it. Lol.


Azariels's head throbbed as he sat up. He felt the warmth of his flesh through the palm of his hand, and knew the light would sting his eyes when he opened them. Still it had to be done.

Pain flared, momentarily, and a small tavern room opened up to him when the lights cleared a little. There had been drink last night, and plenty of it, and now he was sitting on a rough mattress with a wool blanket pooled around his waist. He didn't have to look to know the innkeeper's daughter was laying to his left. She was a young thing, Azariel also knew, between fifteen and seventeen summers, and there would be blood staining the mattress. The elf smiled at this last bit, and wondered just how many virginal notches that made on his belt.

Still, there was a time to make a quiet exit, and that time was vanishing as fast as Sol rising in the sky. He was out of bed, his pants and tunic on when the heavy fists fell on the door.

“Felicia!” The innkeeper called in the gruff and grizzled voice of an old soldier.

Felicia, a dainty redhead, shot up into a sitting position, her wide eyes staring at the door.

“Damn it,” Azariel said.

“Felicia, open this door!” There was no pounding this time but Azariel heard the click as a crossbow was drawn and its bolt set. He checked the catch on his belt, making sure it was secure, and slid both his knives back into their sheathes at his hips. He grabbed his rusted greatsword, a weapon as blunt as the side of a tree and broken down to the length of a longsword, he slid it into the frogs on his back, leaving it open to the world, and started for the window.

“You're leaving?” Felicia said, panic in her voice. The night was coming down around her, no doubt.

“I'm a big fan of not getting shot with a crossbow,” Azariel said. He lifted the window and looked out. They were two stories up, and the nearest building, a little general store, was more than thirty feet away. Straight down was the answer, painful maybe, but necessary.

“We can explain it to him,” Felicia said, her voice pleading, dancing towards hysteria. “We can tell him we're in love!”

Azariel looked back at her for a moment. She was beautiful with skin the color of alabaster, and great big green eyes. Her hair was like the sun setting on the horizon, and had been the thing that attracted him to her in the first place. He considered it, considered staying with her, and decided against it within a period of two seconds.

The door exploded inwards, the knob ripping off and splinters flew in every direction. The innkeeper stepped in, a man six feet tall and built like a dwarf with a beard to match. He leveled the crossbow and fired within heartbeat of the door opening. The bolt whistled through the air. It hit the wood of the window sill hard enough to throw another series of splinters into the air. Azariel stared at it for a moment and the two inches that separated it from his hand.

“No, daddy!” Felicia said. She flung the covers aside and charged her father. “I love him! Please no!”

“I'll kill ya!” the bartender bellowed and yanked the string back on the crossbow faster than anyone Azariel had ever seen.

“Yeah,” he said, and set his foot on the window sill. He ducked his head and kicked. The elf flew, his back and legs straight as an arrow, and his arms out like the feathered fletching. He turned in the air, rolling head over heels, and landed in a crouch. His ankle yelled at the contact, but Azariel was up in short order. Another crossbow bolt struck the ground, kicking up dust.

“I'll kill ya! Ya damned elf!” The bartender said. Azariel glanced back, saw the innkeeper was already loading another bolt. Still the elf couldn't resist himself.

Azariel spun on his heel, sweeping both arms out, and the left back in as he bent at the waist. He flipped his shoulder length blonde hair over the top of his head and made a show of flipping it back. He straightened and locked eyes with the innkeeper. The man had his crossbow leveled and sighted. Still Azariel smiled, a devils grin. He could see Felicia over her father's shoulder. She was tugging on his arm, trying to get him to stop.

“I wish you luck in your endeavor, kind sir,” Azariel said, the devils grin never leaving his face. “My name is Azariel Athendash. Though, I'm unable to face off with you today, I hope you seek me out. I could use a good challenge.”

With that Azariel ducked and spun. He heard the bolt impact where he had just been standing. The barkeep would be loading another bolt by now, but Azariel's legs were swift, and carried him out of the crossbow's range, and around the corner of the general store. He slowed to a walk as he moved towards another cluster of buildings closer to the town wall. He'd stored his gear under one of the two watch towers, and it was time to retrieve it. It was time to move on from this little hovel, time to move on to bigger and better conquests. Maybe a city.

And, there's a bit more too it, but I think I'll post the rest of it elsewhere then here. On Watt Pad or Medium, maybe DeviantArt. Or maybe all three. Anywho, when I do post it, I'll make sure you all have links. And, I hope you all can't wait for the book!!!



Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Good NEWS!!!

Today was supposed to be a blog post about Han Solo, but I think I'm going to hold off on that post till tomorrow.


Because I have good news that I can and can't tell you about.

What's the good news I can tell you about?

Well, I'm starting work on a new book. It's a fantasy story that encapsulates one of my number one favorite Dungeons and Dragons game moments. I would tell you what that moment is, but it would ruin the story. Let's just say that it involves a halfing and a dragon. Yes... it get's you all excited doesn't it?

Anyway, what's the good news I can't tell you?

That would be the publication date of this story. I have a date in mind, and my calenders and goals are all marked towards this, but I'm not going to get to far ahead of myself.

All I will say now is that I am going to self publish this book, and I hope to have it on the market by the time fall rolls around. We'll see how that goes with me working on it and what not. And, I'll let you know more the closer I get to my goal.

Also, if there's an artist in the audience who would be willing to work for next to nothing I need to get some cover art for the book. That might have to wait though.

Anyway, peace out.



Luke Skywalker

This man was my number one hero growing up. He was everything I wanted to be, and everything I felt I couldn't be.

He was the HERO of the series. It was his DESTINY to help the rebel alliance overthrow the evil Galactic Empire. It was his DESTINY to fight against the father who abandoned him as a babe. And, right there we cut a little too deep. Lol.

I have the greatest dad in the world. I really do. But, I don't know the man who donated his genetics for my existence. I know his name, but I've never seen him. I've never even seen a picture of him. I tell myself that's fine and dandy, that I don't need to know him or anything about him to know how well my life is going to turn out, but there's always that little voice in the back of my head. The one that whispers how unwanted I am.

I am wanted though. I am needed. By my mom, by the man I call dad, by my wife, and by every other member of my family. I am needed and I am happy.

I don't need to know a sperm donor to be happy.

So, back to Luke Skywalker...

I got nothing. Lol.

He's the first to become a Jedi after the bulk of the Jedi Order was obliterated by the Sith lord, Darth Sidious, at the end of the Clone Wars. He's trained by both Obi-wan Kenobi and Yoda, two of the primary figures in the Jedi Order, and they were the only ones to survive the culling of the Jedi.

Luke successfully uses the force to destroy the Death Star... and good God Almighty! After basically worshiping him through my early teens (I read my first Star Wars novel in the 6th grade, and I'd seen the movies before that), you would think I'd have more to say about him.

He's a hero archetype, and one of the ones everyone wants to see. Luke Skywalker has nothing at the beginning of the story. Even the characters around him don't have any reason to find something special in him. This is part of the underdog, the unexpected hero. He's a regular Joe, so far as the casual movie goer cares to know. Then he's taken out of his natural environment and thrown into extraordinary circumstances.

That experience works to harden him, inside and out, as he goes through different trials. Luke is not the same Luke he was at the beginning of the story. He's not the same Luke that sneaked the droids past Stormtroopers. He's not the same Luke who rescued Princess Leia. He's not the same Luke as when Darth Vader murdered Obi-wan Kenobi. Each experience compounds on the last, driving him forward, until the moment when he destroys the first Death Star. That moment is when he stops being a child, when he stops relying on toys, and takes comfort in the power of the force.

Luke “becomes” a man when he chooses to use the force over the targeting computer. He grew because he stepped out of his comfort zone and realized, yes, I am small, but I destroyed the Death Star. I can take on the Empire. I can make a difference. That was the real climactic point in the movie. Not when the Death Star was destroyed, but when he relied on the force. The climactic point of both the inner struggle and the physical/exterior struggle should come at the same time for the greatest effect on the audience.

And, I don't remember what I was talking about now. I should really find some way to organize these things so they make more sense.

I dunno.



Monday, June 16, 2014


Spock is THE original alien. Lol. Spock made it cool to be an alien. Yeah, I don't know. It just seemed to be the right thing to say at the time.

Is there ever really a right time to say anything, though?

I don't know, and I don't know why I brought it up here. Yeah, my head's kind of shorting out again. That happens pretty often I suppose though.


I guess I could start listing off facts about Spock. But, that might not be all that entertaining, so instead I'll run through crafting Spock as a Dungeons and Dragons/Pathfinder character.

And, after thinking about it, that is a bad idea.


Because I don't want to start an argument in the comments. Lol.

I was going to say he was an elf (half elf technically, since Spock is only half Vulcan) Psion following the telepath's power tree. With the abilities we've seen in the show and movies I'd put him around fifth or sixth level with most of his skill ranks dumped into knowledge (arcana most likely) and his stats would be unusually high in the strength, constitution, and intelligence areas, while lacking in charisma and wisdom. (The alternate of Bones who would be high in wisdom and charisma.)

As for gear, that'd get down right irritating trying to mimic Star Trek tech. Well, maybe not too irritating. Give him a rod of lightning in which the energy damage can be controlled, giving the rod both a stun and kill setting. That covers the phaser. A stone of communication allowing verbal communication with anyone using a similar stone linked with the same arcane “frequency” (basically meaning the stones had to be made by the same mage).

The tricorder is where I get stumped. That and the universal translator. The universal translator could be translated as a helm of speak language/tongues, giving its wearer the ability to speak any language, period. The tricorder might translate as a stone of perception, giving the user a bonus to their natural perception skill, and maybe granting them ranks in knowledge relating to what the stone picks up? I don't know.

An orb of perception, maybe?

I dunno.

If I get bored at some point I might really work up stats for both the vulcan race and Spock as a character. If I do that, though, I'll also have to work up the stats for an airship version of the Enterprise. And, I could see this going a very long way.

Oy vey.

I don't know.

I'm just going to call it a night.



Sunday, June 15, 2014


You would think a blog post for this topic would be very broad and kind of vague. I mean after all, just how much data is in the world? How many giggaquads or whatever? But, no, to me this topic is easily narrowed down. Narrowed down so much in fact, that it refers to one character in particular.

Lieutenant Commander Data, the android Chief of Operations officer and third in command on board the USS Enterprise NCC-1701 D and the E, and he was the captain of the F at one point in time. At least according to Star Trek Online h was the captain of the Enterprise F. The one in charge of the ship until the Andorian captain Val'kel Shon took over due to a sitation totally outside of the capacity of a fictional universe to take care of.

For some reason, CBS won't release the rights for the Star Trek androids to be used in the MMORPG. This is something Cryptic and Perfect World (the developer of the game and the owners respectively) have been working to resolve since Star Trek Online first launched. This is also a topic I could really run off on a major tangent on, so I'm going to nip that in the bud right there.

So, what else is there to talk about?

Well, Data is technically the third of his kind, and is the most perfect of the three Soong androids. B-4 was the first and most imperfect android. B-4's only appearance was in Star Trek Nemesis, the last Next Generation movie and the last one before the Abrams reboot. He was basically a plot bunny placed in the movie to make it possible to revive Data in later films. It's like when Spock touched McCoy and said remember.

Where Spock passed his Katra (life force or something like that) on to Dr. McCoy, so that he could be revived when his body was basically cloned on the Genesis planet. Yeah, and that's a tangent all on it's own.

My brain stopped.

Anyway, Data's programming overrides B-4's and he takes over as the dominant personality in the body. And, with how primitive B-4's positronic network is, Data probably erases all traces of his “special” brother.

That being said. It could be entirely possible that none of this is accepted as canon.


Not because Disney just bought it and nixed the entirety of the extended universe. Nope, it's just because of how canon works with Star Trek.

With Star Wars the canon was pretty well open, seeing as there were only three movies out when the EU started, and those movies were rather vague on what took place before the movies and what would happen afterword. So, those creative individuals who were interested took up their pens and pencils and breathed life into the EU.

When it comes to Star Trek there have been 5 television series and 12 movies. There's plenty of “official” material that out weighs the other material produced. The novels and video games, the comic books, and all the other fan made products have no bearing whatsoever on what happens in upcoming Star Trek products.

This might change, however. Star Trek: Renegades is a fan produced pilot for a new television series set to air in the fall. It's hoped that the ratings and the turnout will be enough to move Paramount & CBS into picking up the show and making it a regular series. The next Star Trek series.

But, still, none of this points towards a canon conclusion of what happened with Data. GRAH!!!


PS: I didn't realize how far off topic I went... but oh well. Maybe I'll cover the rest in a later post. Lol. 

Friday, June 13, 2014

Negative Self Talk or How Things Get Better

This is going to be a Rated R blog post.

Just a fair warning. It's not going to be rated R because there's going to be gratuitous nudity or violence. It's going to be rated R because of the language used. And, how all of this makes me feel.

I was doing my walk earlier today and I realized something. It's something that's been staring me in the face for the last couple of months and, like the man who couldn't see the forest for the trees, I couldn't see it.

What is it?

I have firmly planted my head so far up my ass I can wear said ass as a hat.

Yes, yes I have. I haven't been posting my stats on Facebook. I haven't been writing a blog post. I haven't been keeping up with my day planner or with my dry erase board. It would take me an hour or two to find where on Facebook my lasts stats post was, and looking at my archive on my blog I haven't posted since May 23rd. That's way more than a month ago, and it hurts to see that.

So, yeah, here comes some self deprecation.

I don't know what in God's name has gone on with me. I don't fucking know. I was doing so damn good. I mean really, looking at the same blog archive I posted just about every fucking day for FOUR months. FOUR months!!!!

Why in god's name did that stop?


And, that's not even the tip of the ice berg. I'd been posting my stats on Facebook for way longer than that. Hell, I started posting my stats back in October. Or maybe earlier than that. I'm not sure. I'd really have to dig to find out. I remember celebrating every couple of weeks because I'd made it another little milestone for getting my goals done. Now, I don't even know who that person was, or where they went.

That's what it's all about too. You see, back then I was making progress. I was moving forward. Every step I took, every day I walked and followed through with The Goal That Shall Not Be Named, every day I wrote a blog post, I felt like I was winning. I felt like I was moving forward. And, it hasn't been like that recently.

It hasn't been like that for almost two months now.

I've been regressing. I've come to the point where I do the walk and my goal each day because I feel like I “have” too. Not because I want too. I don't post my stats (and for the last few days I haven't even kept track of my stats), because that thing in me that was proud of them seems to have died. I could even take it so far as to say that I don't know where any of this is coming from. But, that would be a lie.

All of this has a name, all of what I've been going through recently, this regression, has a name. It's called negative self talk.

25 Labels In Your Negative Self-Talk

Everybody talks to themselves, don't deny it. There's no use in denying it. This self talk is the way we interpret the world and how our brains work out the details of every little thing.

Negative self talk is the inability to look at things logically... after a fashion.

“That person flipped me off as they drove by me. That must mean I'm a terrible person.”

“She's depressed because I couldn't make her smile.”

“I'm fat. I shouldn't be fat. I should be skinny. I've failed at life.”

Those are kind of out there examples, but that's pretty much right on the mark. I know I've thought some of those things at one point or another. And, I think I know what's happening with my goals each day.

“I can't walk today because I'm tired and I never have time.”

“I can't write a blog post today, because I didn't write one yesterday.”

“I can't post my stats because it's after 7.”

“I'm a terrible person because I don't have any drive to move forward.”

“I'm miserable, and that's all I'll ever be. I'll never be any better than a grunt worker at a fast food chain. That's what my life has come down too. I'm 28, I have a bachelor's degree, and I flip burgers for a living. I'm worthless.”

There's a trap in there too. You see, it's easy to be miserable. You don't have to put forth any effort at all to keep living in the drudgery you create by your own inactivity. And, then you look at people around you. People who are successful and enjoying their lives, and you hate them. You hate them because you think why are they happy and I'm not. What are they doing that I'm not? They're trying... They're trying to make their lives better. And, that's more work than any miserable person ever wants to do.

It's easy to be miserable.

I want to break that. I want to stop this negative self talk. I want to TRY again. I want to get out there and be proud of the three miles I walked today. I want to be proud that I've been keeping up with The Goal That Shall Not Be Named for almost a year now. I want to enjoy writing my blog posts, and I want to be happy. More than anything I want to be happy.

I know what I need to do to be happy. I need to try. I need to step out the door and kick my feet, get my ass moving forward. It's a long road from here to there, but it's not the destination that matters. It's the journey, it's the journey and it's the knowledge that you tried along the way. You TRIED to make it to the other end of the road. And, if you have that attitude... you WILL make it to the other end of the road. You WILL succeed, and you WILL be happy.

Phil Williams
Wiki Commons

I just need to start trying again.

I just need to start trying again.

So, here and now I make this proclamation: