So, I’ve got a problem.
I have a story coming out in the critters.org queue tomorrow, and I’m fighting with myself about whether I should let it go out.
To be upfront about the problem it’s a story called Widowmaker: Shadows of Insanity, and to be blunt it’s about child abuse, the mental problems that causes, and the lengths that the instability created by the abuse can push a child’s mind too.
A little boy is visited by the “shadow man” and forced to relive the moments in which his father was most abusive, including sexual abuse. The “shadow man” convinces the little boy to take his father’s gun, and kill the abusive parent. The ending to the story is left open. But, the prospects for the little boy are grim.
The whole damn story is grim and gruesome, and I’m afraid that it will upset people in light of current events.
So it comes down to two questions:
Do I play the part of the artist, and let the story go out, saying damn the consequences and hope people accept the story for what it is, a work of fiction?
Or do I pull it out, and feel like a coward down the road, afraid to show my work because it might not be PC?
Neither option looks good as it’s going to leave me feeling like shit in the end. Upset that I upset people, or upset that I didn’t have the balls to go through with it. It’s like something I was talking to my wife about the other day.
She asked me if I was 100 percent certain I wanted to do something.
I told her I was 99.95 percent certain.
What’s the 0.05 percent? She asked.
Room for me to go, ‘why in God’s name did I do that?’
And, that’s where I’m at right now. Stuck between the do I, don’t I, and how much am I going to regret that decision.
I really don’t know what to do here.