Monday, July 22, 2013

Journal 7-21-13

Ladies and gentlemen...

It has happened! 

I'm finally working on Cold Lunch again! It's about damn time, huh? Lol.

And now I can't think of anything to write about. Must of done too much work already. Lol.

Anyway, not too much has changed. The house is still a work in progress. And, I still can't think of anything to write about.

Soooo, yeah. I'm going to check out for the night.

Sorry I crapped out today. Lol.

Ryan

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Journal 7-16-13

Anybody know what's going on in life today?

I missed it. Lol.

I dunno, I've missed a lot lately. I've been really busy, which is the main reason I haven't been posting here. I should have made time to post here, but hindsight is twenty-twenty or something like that.

Anyway, we are moved into the new house. It's still not finished yet, but even with the contractor here, and only being able to use half the space in the house, it's so much better than our old place. Plus, if the contractor's right (I'm not holding my breath), it should only be two or three more days before he's finished and we get some breathing room.

I've also fallen behind on a couple of other things. Writing mainly. I haven't been posting here. I haven't been doing Hubs. And, I haven't been doing any creative writing...

Well, that last statement is kind of a lie. I have been doing some creative writing. I've got a neat little short story going, but it's not anything related to a possible money making project. And, I still haven't decided if I'm going to publish it on HubPages, or see if I can possibly get it published through a magazine or some such thing. Anything is possible. Especially when I'm involved.

I have been doing a couple of neat things though.

I've been playing with fire. Lol.

The new landlord's have something of a mess in their backyard from the renovations done to the trailer, and I've been burning the leftover bits of wood and flooring and whatnot. Nothing that's harmful to mother nature. Just a pretty, hypnotizing flame. Sitting and staring at it might be one of the reasons I haven't gotten any writing done. Maybe.

Another is construction. I've begun working on a something. I have and haven't decided what it is yet. Right now it's four two-by-fours nailed together using two smaller two-by-fours. I'm thinking it's going to be a bookshelf. Maybe. And, that's only because I haven't decided to feed it to the fire yet. I'll take some pictures of it in the next day or so to post here and on facebook. It'll be nice to have some physical type of art to show off. Lol.

I think there was something else. But, I'm really not sure. It's bedtime for me, so, it's kind of hard to remember things.

I'll talk at you kids later.

Ryan

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Jounral 7-10-13

Excitement!!!

Not really, lol. Things didn't go quite the way I expected, and we won't be spending our first night in the new homestead. I did have a revelation though.

I don't take to change well, and this whole situation has been so extremely stressful for me that cupcake says I'm not even acting like I normally do. I can believe that. So, last night, I was sitting in my new writing room, looking at the walls I painted, and I started to imagine where my things were going to be. The way I was going to orient the desk. And, the futon, and the TV (when I have the money to put one in there), the entertainment stand for said TV and my recliner, and book case, and through all of that I realized it had clicked. I was looking at this place, this new wonderful place as if it was home, and I cried.

I didn't cry because I was sad. I cried because I saw the opportunity we've been given. The opportunity to better ourselves, and to live up to the standards this place is going to demand. We will be better people for going through this move, and adjusting to this new life. And, maybe, for those of us who're depressed all the time, it might let in a little ray of Hope. The one that Pandora didn't let out of the box. Maybe that ray of Hope will bring us this new home, and the ability to enjoy it. I know I want to enjoy living there.

Anyway, enough of the semi profound mumbo jumbo. That's what it sounds like to me.

As for the daily report. We moved the washer and dryer. We learned that the dryer power outlet was fried, and that it took our power cord with it. We're going to replace the power cord instead of getting a new washer and dryer. I wanted to get a new set. We also moved the two big dressers in the bedroom, leaving only the chest of drawers and the bed to move (there's also a night stand I keep forgetting about) and the bedroom will be moved. I've been meaning to move the stuff out of the old writing room for the last four days now, but I keep forgetting. Couldn't tell you why, it just flies right out of my head when I'm thinking of the need to do list.

And, when it comes to writing... you're looking at the only thing I wrote today. It's killing me. I need to get my pen back on paper and get to scribbling. At this point I don't care if it's a Hub or a short story or a novel I just need to write something before I go insane. (Probably another reason why my stress levels have been so high.) But, things will improve. I'll get to set my new writing room up in the next week or so, and then I can bend over the desk and get to work. Maybe not even taking the time to look up as I power through whatever project comes to mind first.

Now, I'm going to go to bed. I have to be at "the most wonderful place on Earth" at five am. I hate you McDonalds. Lol.

Ryan

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Journal 7-9-13

I don't remember what I wrote yesterday, and I'm too lazy to see what it was. But, it's not nearly as important as this news broadcast.

This, right now, is very likely the last night I will spend on John Ramey's property. (If you don't know who that is you're lucky. I wish I didn't know who that was.) that's right ladies and germs. It is time for the move to HAPPEN!!!!

At least I think it is. Lol.

Beyond that, there's still not much to talk about. 

I'm still working at McDonalds.

I still dislike the contractor.

I still think I'm going to get rich when I publish Cold Lunch.

And, I still think I'm the best thing since sliced bread.

Yeah, that's just how awesome I am.

That insanity aside, I came up with a new story idea :D 

A short story idea anyway. At least it's a short story idea right now. It might turn into a longer idea depending on how the story grows, and whether it feels compressed or not. I'm not sure how the conflict will evolve. 

But I love the concept. 

It's probably been done a hundred times, and will probably be done a hundred more times, but anyway. It's simple. This "thing" (I'm not going to say exactly what) has the ability to detect a persons sins, and uses that ability to get the person to own up to it. To confess and beg for forgiveness. And because the creature is slightly sadistic, he convinces these sinners to take their own lives. Still damning their souls to hell.

And, yeah, with that concept, I don't know how the conflict is going to evolve.

Eh, I'll figure it out.

Anywho, it's nappy time for this little boy.

Gnite!

Ryan

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Journal 7-8-13

Forgot to post.

Yes, ladies and germs, I forgot to post yesterday. I even meant to get on the computer and tell you I forgot to post because I had forgot to post until after work. Anyway, that post didn't happen, so we'll just cram two days into one post.

On Sunday an interesting little thing happened. I got off work an hour early, and  Erik was supposed to come and pick me up. Well, I tried to call him as soon as I heard I was getting off at two instead of three (learned that at one). There was no answer. I asked around, well I really only had to ask one person. Shasta, the most awesome McDonalds manager in the world, lol. And, she said she'd take me home. So, I called again, this is about ten minutes before I got to walk out the door. There was still no answer.

So, Shasta's ready to go, and I hope that we'll beat Erik to the house. Hoping that he doesn't leave before we get to the house. And, the entire ride down 119 down 65 I kept watching for my car. I even had Shasta pull over once, and chase another car because I thought it was mine. It wasn't. So, we went on to my house, and my car was still in its parking spot, and I was relieved. I told Shasta I would invite her in, but the place is a mess and we parted ways there.

I also remember telling her I was going to f*** with my Erik.

When I went into the house, Erik was still zonked out on the sofa (understandable considering the time he spent conscious the weekend before). I expected his alarm to go off, and him to jump to attention and be like Oh Sh*t, I forgot Ryan. Then I would get to look at him and laugh as he stared at me. It didn't happen.

Three rolled around, when I was supposed to get off work, and Erik still hadn't woken up. So, I started to try and wake him up. Telling him he was forgetting me. And, telling him that I got off at three and I was going to be pissed. That went on for all of five minutes. He still didn't budge.

So, I went on with the rest of my day. I wanted to strangle the contractor. I worked on cleaning the living room a little more, and when cupcake showed up we went back over to the rental property and I valiantly managed to keep from strangling the contractor in front of my cupcake. (I don't like the contractor if you can't tell.) Then we went back to the house, and continued cleaning the living room. Erik still hadn't woken up.

We went out for dinner at Subway, and a necessities only shopping trip to Walmart. And, when we came back, Erik was still asleep. At that point, it was six hours past the time he was supposed to have woken up and come to pick me up.

I decided I was going to tell him I walked home.

But, after such an ordeal, I decided to take a shower. Erik woke up while I was in the shower, and Mel didn't play along. She just asked him if he forgot me, and told him Shasta brought me home. When I got out of the shower, I looked at Mel, and knew what she did. And, I was cranky, lol. We did get a laugh out of it though.

Today, with the exception of one thing, sucked.

I had to leave work early again, but this one wasn't because of labor. This time I was throwing up in the trash can in the back room and hardly able to breath. I'd been feeling sick for the last few days, I thought it was just a psychosomatic reaction to me being at work, me brain doesn't like me job. But, its never gotten so bad that I actually vomited. That proved to me that it wasn't all in my head.

So, I got sent home, and I immediately fell into two different pits of depression. One was the fear that I upset cupcake, and that got me crying. The other was the fear that I was going to be too sick to help in the move, and that got me crying. Then, just before we took Button to the vet, Mel found an article about these glass pyramids found at the very center of the Bermuda triangle. It's supposition that the pyramids are made out of a glass or crystalline building material. They believe these are to be the first official ruins of the Atlantean civilization.

That was validation for me! I had been saying for years that they should be looking in the Bermuda Triangle, particularly it's center for evidence of the lost civilization. And, now, I just wish I had the doctor who made the discovery's email address to let him know about a couple other structures I think are buried in that general area.

Anywho, sleep is kicking me in the a** and I'm going to give in. I'll post more later.

Ryan

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Dear Cupcake

Dear Cupcake,

I'm sorry. You gave me a list of things to do, and I didn't do any of them.

You're disappointed. You should be, and I wish I could be there to see the disappointment on your face. It would be punishment enough. 

I didn't get the living room cleaned and packed. Nor did I get the kitchen/bedroom/name a room packed and ready to move. 

You said if I could get everything moved from one house to another we would go to books a million, and I could have a mini shopping spree, and now I don't get it. I didn't get with the program, and bust my balls to get things done. 

Instead I played with paint and fire. I stayed up too late. I drank way too much soda. And me an Erik tried to go out to a bar on the fourth, and we hung out at the gas station instead of coming home when we found the bar closed.

And I had a good time, hanging out with my folks, and making fun of Erik wanting his dad's motorcycle. And you weren't there beside me. I missed you then, and now.

I don't want you to be upset with me. I know I've been a pain in the ass, and I haven't gotten the list done, and I know you'll be a little upset with me. And that I should be there to see the pain in your eyes when you see what hasn't been done. I deserve that punishment. 

I want you to be you though. Look at me and roll your eyes and take the broom. You're better at it than I am :P and I want you to hold me, play with my hair (what tiny amount of it there is) and tell me everything's going to be okay.

But, you don't have to say that, though. No, you don't. We'll get moved in and we'll love our new home. And then, by some sort of new home magic, we'll get rich, and never have to worry again. 

So, I know you're going to be disappointed in me, but know this: everything is going to get done. The kid gloves are off, and I'm ready. Better late than never, and I'm ready. I will make this the home of your dreams. And, I'll try to stop driving you crazy. Can't make any promises there.

I love you cupcake. More than anything. I want you to know that.

So, don't be disappointed when you get home. Know that I'm going to come home, and make this work.

I love you.

Ryan

PS: What's the cell phone number again

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Journal 7-5-13

Feeling it...

Yesterday, I felt like crap. Pure and simple, utter crap. I don't know why. I don't know if I overworked myself, or spent too much time working on the new place, or if I'm just getting to old to pull all-nighters. (That last one seems most likely.) But, yeah.

I'm thinking about listing the symptoms of my crap feelings, but I'm sure you can imagine what it was.

Anyway, I didn't get a lot done yesterday. I slayed Cat Mountain, and got it moved over to the new place, though all of the stuff that made up Cat Mountain is now stuffed in the Writing Room 2.0's closet. And, I worked on cleaning up the living room. Packing up the remaining stuff, and cleaning the furniture. I wanted to start taking furniture over yesterday. But, a) I was feeling like crap, and b) I don't know how much the contractor had gotten done, and so didn't know where I could put things to keep it out of the way.

The point of this, maybe, is that I didn't get the living room finished to my satisfaction. Meaning, I'll be working on it again today.

Though, I do get to see my mom and dad today :) (I'm actually writing this post on their computer.) And, it gets to be both business and pleasure. My little sister had a couch and a bed that there was no space for when she moved back in with Mom and Dad. So, we're going to use this for the new place. The trip down here today was too get the furniture and spend time with our folks (me and Erik came down). It worked out well.

As for something else to talk about...

I got nothing.

I could complain about not getting thus and such done, but I've already done this to some extent (see above). And, complaining about it isn't going to get it done (my wife is going "Who are you? And, what have you done with my husband?"). So, I'm going to spend the day with my folks, pick up the furniture, go home, and see about getting done what needs to be done.

Laters.

Ryan

Friday, July 5, 2013

Journal 7-4-13

Paying for it.

Happy belated Fourth of July. I feel like s**t. Yeah, and I'd be willing to bet about a million and some odd dollars that I'm not the only person that feels this way. Yeah, isn't celebrating the birth of our nation awesome.

Drinking beer and playing with fire, particularly explosives.

I didn't get to play with either fire or explosives, but I did do some drinking and I'm paying for it.

Anyway, what else is there to talk about.

Painting in the writing room v2.0 is pretty much done. I got the second coat and the detail finished, and when I started pulling the painter's tape off it took the primer and the wallpaper off of the trim. So, instead of the room looking really sharp with a nice blue shot through with white stripes, its a nice blue with crappy looking brown and yellow and white stripes. I need to go through and repaint the stripes, and there's still some detail work (where the painter's tape pulled bits of paint off with it) that I'm going to need to do with a very fine tip brush. Or finding a sharpie that matched the color of the wall. That would probably work, and it wouldn't drive me crazy. The likelihood of finding that, however, is low and I'm too lazy to do much looking into it. Instead I'll just by the fine tip brush, and a small can of white paint for the trim. It's going to have to wait for a while, though. I don't see the time to get it done right now. Not without sacrificing time working on the rest of the trailer.

Keep an eye on my facebook page, and my devArt profile. I'll be posting pictures when I figure out how to get them off of Mel's phone. Lol.

As for what I'm doing toady? I'm going to finish dismantling Cat Mountain, and take its innards over to the new trailer. Then I shall be cleaning the living room down here at the old homestead. It's going to take forever, but it's better to get it done now, then waiting until the last ten minutes off the 30 day notice. Lol.

And, I guess that's all I've got to talk about today. I might try to be more interesting tomorrow, but right now that seems like too much work.

Ryan

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Journal 7-3-13

Wiped.

I am wiped out ladies and gentlemen. It is ten till one while I'm writing this, and yes, my a double s is about to go to sleep. But, like I said in yesterday's post, I really do need to set these up to post before I go to bed. I find I get the most consistent views when I post consistently everyday, and at the same time everyday. It just seems to work out.

Anyway, today was another fun filled day. I had a doc appointment, took care of that, I got to fight with the telephone people for an hour, trying to get them to change the installation date for our services. They wouldn't let me make the changes as my name wasn't on the account. Mel got that taken care of though. Now, all I need to do is call them and get them to change the address of where they're coming to install the new services. We didn't have the correct address when we set the appointment up.

As for the rest of the day, it was spent up at the new place trying to get it ready. We put the first coat of paint up in the writing room. I meant to take pictures to post, but I'll get them up tomorrow. It looks good, and it will look better after we get the second coat up. Then we can take the painter's tape off, and you can see how the white stands out against the blue. It's going to look awesome.

On a similar note, I also kind of find myself in freak out mode, even though I know that I shouldn't be freaking out. We're supposed to be out of our current rental property by the 14th, and I wanted to get moved out by the 5th. It's not going to happen. Anyway, I've been upset, and generating this all by myself, because we haven't been able to get to move our stuff from one property to the other. And, that is the reason I took this week off, so that I would have time, and energy, to get stuff moved and the old trailer cleaned up as best we can.

So, yeah, I worked myself up into a tizzy, and now my headaches in ways it shouldn't (part of that might be the paint fumes though). And, I know everybody else is right not to worry. It's only going to take a couple of days to get our stuff moved over, and then maybe a good day or so to get the old property cleaned up. So, yes, I need to chill. I just find it hard to do.

I feel bad. Not because of the freak out or anything like that. I feel bad because I haven't been keeping up with my Things To Do list. I haven't been taking my walk, and I've been slacking in the hygiene department (gross I know). Really the only thing I've kept up with is my blog. And, that might be because it's kind of cathartic, a good sort of daily purge, in trying to keep my sanity. What little of it might be left.

And, I've been slacking off on my hubpages stuff as well. I've wanted to be able to do one a day, but I've done one and a quarter since Saturday. I know it's because I've had other things to do, and I can rationalize it like that, but there's this nagging little voice inside my head going on and on about it. "You're wasting time." "How are you ever going to make this a day job?" "No Hub, no money." Not exactly thoughts that well defined, but pretty damn close. And, there's another one too, one that goes on even when I'm getting the Hub's done, like last week. "When are you going to do some creative writing?" "You still have to finish Cold Lunch." "What about that short story you were going to submit?" "Or the one you haven't finished writing? The one about the gnome." "And, those two novellas you were going to do for HubPages, where are they?" "And, your DnD adventure. You're putting a group together, so don't you need to have something for them to do when they're ready to play?" (That one is really that well defined.) And, it goes on and on, forever and ever, and I don't know how to shut it up. If I do creative writing, something else suffers. The painting doesn't get done. Or the Hubs don't get done. Or I don't get enough sleep. These negative little voices are chitter chattering all the time, and I don't know how to please them. It's no wonder I'm in freak out mode. I can't get any peace! Lol.

Yeah, I don't know. I think I'm just going to go to sleep for now, and try to figure out something to do with those problems later.

Yes, sleep is a good idea.

Talk to you kids later.

Ryan

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Journal 7-2-13

I really need to start writing these before I go to bed.

Anyway, there weren't very many adventures yesterday, mainly just trying to get it so that we could start moving in. There is space, but since there was a storm yesterday evening I didn't really feel like moving things up to the house. Today, however, Cat Mountain will be moved, and maybe I'll start to calm down about getting everything done.

I feel like I'm not making any progress, because I can't see the progress. I can't see the movement of our things from this place to the next. Everything, except for one chair, is in the same place it was when we turned in our thirty day notice. And, like I said, that will change today.

Other than that, there's not much else to report. I've done one Hub this week. A review of Under The Dome Episode Two and that's pretty much all the writing I've done.

I've poked at my journal some, and I've thought of a couple of interesting characters, as well as attempting a few new ways of taking down ideas, and trying to keep them in order. I just started using it yesterday, though, so I'm not sure how well it's going to work.

Anywho, I really can't think of much else to say, so I'll talk to ya later.

Ryan

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Journal 7-1-13

Today was kind of a freak out day for me.

Why?

I don't know, to an extent. I know that I'm stressed because it feels like I'm running on two deadlines. The first is the countdown to the fourteenth. 13 days. That's when we have to be out of this place, and there will be no take backs this time.

The second is a countdown to Sunday. Why? That's when I go back to work. And, as such, it's when I lose the most time I have available. I'll have to work on top of moving, on top of being exhausted, plus whatever handyman stuff remains to be done at the time.

Drywall needs to be hung in the back bedroom. (YouTube here I come).

The floor needs to be finished in the back bedroom.

The writing room needs to be painted.

The floor has to be put in the writing room.

The new wall paneling has to be put up in the living room.

The master bedroom has to be cleaned out.

The master bedroom closet needs to be cleaned out.

The floor needs to be laid in the master bedroom.

And, I could go on for a while longer. It's a mess, or rather it feels like one to me. Maybe I am just freaking out, and everything will be ok. 

Alright, I'm going to sleep now. Before I get a wild hair up my ass.

Ciao.

Ryan

Monday, July 1, 2013

6-30-13

I'm about to fall flat on my face.

Official day one of my "vacation" and I spend the day running to Lowes and back, trying to get pluming, drywall, paint, and flooring materials and equipment. That crap, if it doesn't start out heavy, seems to have a way of gaining weight. And, I managed to find the three hardest to find items on the list.

And, once again it's another six to eight hours (don't feel like counting) since I started writing this. If I keep up at this rate, I might get one post done a week. Lol.

Anyway, it hurts to type. It hurts to breath, and look around. It just plain hurts. I didn't realize being a handy man was this hard on one's body. Yeah. Still, it's work that I enjoy. I'm able to disappear into it the way I can with writing, and when I step back away from it, pull back into reality, I'm able to see what sort of job I've done. And, it's good.

We've still got to lay down the floor in three rooms, tile in one of the bathrooms, and get the toilets put back together. And, I want to start moving stuff up today.

Anywho, I think I'm going to nap for a little bit longer. I am wiped out.

Ciao.

Ryan