Ghosts...

Alright, so I asked my lovely Cupcake for a topic and she said ghosts with a question mark at the end of it. I’m not sure why the question mark was there. I guess that’s probably an indication that she wasn’t sure, and I should take the post wherever I felt it was necessary to go. As for where that is… I couldn’t tell you. Lol.

I guess I could just start talking and see where that gets us.

Ghosts are believed to be a paranormal occurrence that is often cited as proof of an afterlife. The belief is that ghosts are the remains of a person’s soul, what was left over when their physical body died, and usually, it’s believed that ghosts are created when someone has a violent death or where they die in a way that they weren’t exactly ready for it. And, as such, their soul tries to continue to exist without the body, trapping their soul here on the material realm and preventing it from moving on to the afterlife. Even though the soul tries to remain on the material plane it isn’t one hundred percent successful. You see, ghosts are immaterial; they lack mass, and exist merely as a collection of energy that shifts between our plane (the material plane) and this other second plane called the ethereal plane. The ethereal plane kind of overlaps ours and exists basically as a field of energy that connects all life… yes… the ethereal plane is the Force.

Now, that’s pretty much what I know textbook wise about ghosts.

Have I ever had any experiences with ghosts?

I can’t rightly say that I have. Not one hundred percent to my knowledge. I’ve never seen one in person. I’ve never been in the room when a strange voice comes out from nowhere. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in ghosts. Just because I’ve not seen one, doesn’t mean I’ve not felt one.

The ethereal plane, or the Force if you prefer, is something we’re all in contact with. And, as such we have the ability to “sense” certain things about it and our surroundings. That feeling you get when somebody is staring at you, and you’re not looking in their direction, that is information transferred via the ethereal plane. Or cold spots, when a suspected spirit is in the room it will drain the energy away from the point of its manifestation and anybody near that spot will feel the air get cooler. Think of it this way, heat is energy, if it’s getting cold the energy is going away. Then there’s the doom and gloom feeling. The moment when you simply know that something’s wrong, that there’s something that’s not natural in the same room as you. I’ve had that feeling many a time… usually in graveyards. This is why I stay far far away from graveyards.

Now… what else can I say about ghosts…

They make interesting enemies when it comes to table top RPGs. Why? They’re almost impossible for the PCs to hit without special weapons, and if used right, they can really force some wonderful role-playing moments. Convincing a ghost that it’s dead, and trying to help it move on to the afterlife; that would be a killer trip for anybody. And, often, the PCs will loot whatever corpses are left after a battle. This can make for an interesting recurring villain as a ghost will hunt down the person who stole from it and do whatever they can to get what was stolen back. And, in that same vane they can make excellent quest givers. I could cite examples of the latter in a wide array of games on the market today, and yes, many of those examples would be RPGs.

Now… what else… I could probably go on… but I really don’t want to. It’s getting late, and I want to go to bed now.

Gnite kids.

Ryan

7-12-14

Luke Skywalker

This man was my number one hero growing up. He was everything I wanted to be, and everything I felt I couldn't be.

He was the HERO of the series. It was his DESTINY to help the rebel alliance overthrow the evil Galactic Empire. It was his DESTINY to fight against the father who abandoned him as a babe. And, right there we cut a little too deep. Lol.

I have the greatest dad in the world. I really do. But, I don't know the man who donated his genetics for my existence. I know his name, but I've never seen him. I've never even seen a picture of him. I tell myself that's fine and dandy, that I don't need to know him or anything about him to know how well my life is going to turn out, but there's always that little voice in the back of my head. The one that whispers how unwanted I am.

I am wanted though. I am needed. By my mom, by the man I call dad, by my wife, and by every other member of my family. I am needed and I am happy.

I don't need to know a sperm donor to be happy.

So, back to Luke Skywalker...

I got nothing. Lol.

He's the first to become a Jedi after the bulk of the Jedi Order was obliterated by the Sith lord, Darth Sidious, at the end of the Clone Wars. He's trained by both Obi-wan Kenobi and Yoda, two of the primary figures in the Jedi Order, and they were the only ones to survive the culling of the Jedi.

Luke successfully uses the force to destroy the Death Star... and good God Almighty! After basically worshiping him through my early teens (I read my first Star Wars novel in the 6^th grade, and I'd seen the movies before that), you would think I'd have more to say about him.

He's a hero archetype, and one of the ones everyone wants to see. Luke Skywalker has nothing at the beginning of the story. Even the characters around him don't have any reason to find something special in him. This is part of the underdog, the unexpected hero. He's a regular Joe, so far as the casual movie goer cares to know. Then he's taken out of his natural environment and thrown into extraordinary circumstances.

That experience works to harden him, inside and out, as he goes through different trials. Luke is not the same Luke he was at the beginning of the story. He's not the same Luke that sneaked the droids past Stormtroopers. He's not the same Luke who rescued Princess Leia. He's not the same Luke as when Darth Vader murdered Obi-wan Kenobi. Each experience compounds on the last, driving him forward, until the moment when he destroys the first Death Star. That moment is when he stops being a child, when he stops relying on toys, and takes comfort in the power of the force.

Luke “becomes” a man when he chooses to use the force over the targeting computer. He grew because he stepped out of his comfort zone and realized, yes, I am small, but I destroyed the Death Star. I can take on the Empire. I can make a difference. That was the real climactic point in the movie. Not when the Death Star was destroyed, but when he relied on the force. The climactic point of both the inner struggle and the physical/exterior struggle should come at the same time for the greatest effect on the audience.

And, I don't remember what I was talking about now. I should really find some way to organize these things so they make more sense.

I dunno.

Ryan

6-17/18-14

Relationships in Dungeons and Dragons Part 2

If you missed it, here’s a link to Part 1.

I should have finished writing this yesterday instead of waiting. I don’t mean writing it all and posting it on one post, I just mean write out both parts of the post. I mainly wish that because I don’t know what to do right now, or how I should continue on with the topic. In fact, it’s very tempting to pick another topic and just skip over the rest of this one.

I don’t know why.

I’m tired is probably a poor excuse since I’ve taken like three naps today. and, me sitting here and thinking of reasons as to why I don’t want to write on this topic is just stalling.

I’m going to write it.

So, get on with it.

Yesterday we talked about how a relationship might work between a PC and an NPC. Today, I wanted to talk about PC to PC interactions.

This is a lot more complex than the former, as the number of added variables is almost infinite. While the interaction with an NPC is mechanical, the interaction between PCs is very fluid it’s literally one person interacting with another. (God, I use the word interacting a lot in that paragraph.)

Now, don’t get me wrong, the same rules that govern a NPC’s actions apply to PC interactions. So, let’s go back to our rogue.

The rogue has blamed the royal vizier for the theft of the crown jewels and got the man sentenced to death while the rogue sells the jewels on the black market. But, the rogue’s friend and fellow adventurer, a paladin in service to Sol, questions the rogue about the jewels.

Not the image I wanted, but my drawing skills are kind of lame. Lol. So, yeah, totally not my art work.

The rules at this point would once again pit the rogue’s bluff skill against the paladin’s sense motive skill, plus any truth spells the paladin might have in effect. A d20 roll would be used to settle the matter, and if it was an NPC thing the d20 roll would be it.

However, we’re talking about people here, sitting around a table. The paladin and the rogue are sitting at the table, and the paladin’s player knows that the rogue stole the jewels and is now selling them. So, we run into an impasse.

What should happen is the players follow along with what the rolls gave them: if the paladin rolled higher a higher score than the rogue spills, if the rogue rolled higher the paladin will know about as much as the king did. And, in my experience this is what happens, thankfully.

The other thing that could happen is an argument that spills out of the game and into reality, with players using their out of game knowledge to choose how their characters act and react. This is called metagaming and this is often a negative thing that DMs hate.

It really ruins the fun of the game for everybody.

And, my brain is stopping there.

Ryan

4-8-2014

PS: There might be more to the topic, I just can’t think right now. So, yeah… don’t know where I’m going.

Relationships in Dungeons and Dragons Part 1

This is an interesting and vague topic for a blog post. And, I’m sure if I really wanted too, I could let this topic spill out across the blog until it was novel length. That’s how in depth one could get with this topic. It would work as both a psychological and sociological study and would be a beautiful topic when it comes to the development of fictional characters and worlds and how all of that works in tandem with the Dungeon Master’s world. And, I think I lost where I was going with this topic already.

I don't know these people, but yeah, that's pretty much what our gaming space looks like.

These people in the doctor’s office are giving me a headache. They’re talking to one another right over top of my head, and they’re across the room from one another. This is making me stabby… very very stabby.

I probably shouldn’t be talking about that in a public forum, but the absolute discourtesy these people are showing for those around them is disgusting.

Things are sort of quiet now. So, we can get back to the topic at hand. Any Dungeons and Dragons setting, even if it’s set in our modern world, is a fictional setting. All of the people that make up its populace are fictional (yes, even if Abraham Lincoln or some other historical figure is featured in it, they are fictional as well). This is because the world exists solely in the Dungeon Master’s mind and once or twice a week that world exists in the minds of his players. The relationships there are based on fictional events and fictional lives and… I don’t know where I’m going with this.

Either way… a relationship between a player character and an NPC is based on the way both act and react as well as the way the dice rolls. Say a rogue is trying to convince a king that he wasn’t responsible for the theft of the crown jewels, and even takes it so far as to blame the theft on somebody close to the king. This is a tense relationship moment (and would be one where it would be heavy on the roll-playing) and the result of the encounter would fall to the dice. The rogue’s bluff skill versus the king’s sense motive: they would roll a d20 and add their skill modifier to the roll and the highest would win. That’s a mechanical way of determining things.

Another way to see how that relationship works would be through pure role-playing. The rogue’s player would have to put on a convincing enough song and dance to get the king (the Dungeon Master) to go along with what the rogue is saying.

And, I'll blame this one on the royal vizier.

We actually had an incident like this in our last game session. A drow sorcerer was trying to convince a troop of drow soldiers that he was a priestess and that they should submit to him and let him and his friends pass. He had the bluff and disguise skill to pull it off, but he was kind of stuttering in the role-play. (The player’s new to D&D so I kind of expected it, though he did better than I did my first time trying to outwit somebody.) He didn’t pick up on the fact that drow women have no respect for males of any race, including their own. They’re a matriarchal society, and the priestesses are belligerent when it comes to ordering males around.

When he picked up on that it was kind of awesome. I enjoyed seeing that look of triumph on his face when the drow guards bowed before him and split the column in two to let him and the party pass.

Kneel before me in terror, infidel!!!

And, there’s more to cover than that, but I’ve reached the limit of what I feel is appropriate to put into a blog post. So, to be continued…

Ryan

4-7-14

Here's part two for your viewing pleasure.

My Cupcake

My topic for today was supposed to be skinwalkers, and while I have that post half written I think I’ll wait and post it tomorrow. I’ve got something else to talk about today. Something that I feel is quite inspirational.

Let me see if I can set the stage for it, so you can feel the same way about it.

I think off and on (a dangerous prospect) about what I’ve accomplished in my life and all the potential I feel has been wasted. When I think about these things I get quite morose, and one of the number one subject I think about is school.

I messed up in college. I really did. I know most of the blame for that falls at the feet of a diseased I will mention no further, but I still feel the fault is mine. I could have fought back and worked towards the potential I thought I had. Well, the potential I know I had. Don’t get me wrong, I accomplished a lot. I graduated, and I have a bachelor’s degree at my house waiting to be framed and put on the wall in my office. But, it wasn’t bachelor’s degree I wanted. It wasn’t any of the degrees I wanted.

And, that’s what I was thinking about last night. I was missing being in school, knowing I could do better, especially now with all the steps forward I’ve taken. I was thinking about the degree programs I could apply myself to now with the same discipline and energy I put towards keeping up with my daily goals. I thought of several.

I want an associate’s degree in forensic psychology and addiction counseling because of my interest in the field of psychology.

I want an associate’s degree in software and web design because my sister inspired me to go for that field. And, I made a promise to a friend that I would design a program that made a DM’s life a just a little easier. He’s gone now, but I’m going to keep that promise.

I want to finish all the bachelor’s programs I started. The history and English focuses in literature and writing. And, I want to get a bachelor’s in psychology for the same reason I want the associates.

There are even two master’s programs I want to go through. I want an MFA in creative writing, focusing in particular on writing novels. And, I want a master’s psychology, again, that’s because of the same reason I want the associate’s and the bachelor’s.

Those wants and desires right there require one thing above even the determination I could put into those programs. They require money, a literal mountain of money.

And, that kind of brings us around to the point I wanted to say about my cupcake. She came into my writing room and stood beside me and asked why I was down. I told her about the school thing and about how much it was cost, and she looked at me and said two words: Then Write.

Then write.

Like the answer was as plain as the nose on her face, so much was said in those two words; so many feelings that I don’t even know how to describe them, but she knew the answer as she always does. I doubted myself, and my ability to make a career out of writing. But, she doesn’t doubt it. And, I don’t think she ever has.

Then write.

Words really can the world, and now that mine’s been changed, I need to get to work.

Thank you Cupcake, for everything you’ve done and everything you will ever do for me. Thank you for being able to see that little flickering flame inside of me, and knowing exactly how to feed it. I will write, and I will make you proud of me, and that one thing is what will make me happiest in this world. I love you.

Ryan

4-3-14

Dream House part 2

Okay, so this last week has sucked pretty hard core, and yeah, I could give a hundred reasons as to why it sucked, and I would probably spend most of my time bitching about my mouth. I’m not upset at the dentist, which would be stupid as he’s not the one that caused the problems in the first place. That responsibility falls squarely on my head and the poor hygiene decisions I’ve made in the past. I’m getting better now and getting the work on my teeth done is a part of that. But, GD it hurts.

And, that enough whining from me.

What I wanted to talk about right now is one of the things that made this a good week amidst all the hell: Our dream house.

My post yesterday was about this absolutely beautiful house, and it included a wide array of pictures depicting this house. While I find the house is a fascinating topic, I don’t think there’s really much more to say about all of it until I’ve been inside it. What I do find fascinating is the concept of the Dream House.

What is a dream house?

A simple answer: A dream house is the ideal house for a person/couple who can see themselves living in that one place, contentedly, for the rest of their lives.

The difficult answer: I don’t know.

The Dream House is a symbol of status and stature. It’s a way of saying “Look Mom and Dad! Look! I made it! I’m living the American Dream!”

It also seems as though there’s a great deal more psychology. I mean you could easily look at the size of the house and judge just how successful a person has been in their chosen field. Look at doctors and lawyers for instance. They don’t live in palatial homes, but I can guarantee they typically have houses that have ten plus rooms. Some of their houses even come with guest houses instead of just guest rooms.

And, I lost where I was going with this.

Either way, a person’s house is like a castle. Its size represents the strength and success of the one who built it. It’s positioning (especially in a mountainous area like WV) could be another indication of how a person sees themselves. If they’re building a big house on the crest of a mountain it’s because they want to feel powerful. They want to be above other people, and they want to be looked up at.

This even works in the opposite direction. Peole who build huge castles with thick walls are insecure and vulnerable. They don’t feel like they’re able to protect themselves or their family, so they build this big house to look strong and impressive. They set their houses up high on the mountain because they feel looked down upon, and weak. It’s Little Man Syndrome with houses instead of cars/trucks.

Now what does a dream house mean to me? Well, it means I made It! Lol. But, yeah, I told Melanie yesterday or the day before that our lives would be “okay” once we had the aforementioned house; once we could fill our gas tanks up instead of cringing at the twenty dollars we dump in every couple of days; and once we could fill our cabinets with mountains of food and still have money to spend on the things we want to do, the little frivolous pleasures in life as it were.

That’s my idea of what a dream house means. You can take from that what you think I’m saying and we can go from there.

Laters.

Ryan

3-30-14

Kool-aid

Grape drink, or as I always called it, dinosaur slobbers. As a kid (I hate that phrase all of a sudden) my favorite type of Kool-aid was always grape flavored. Not because it stood out as being any better than the rest, but because it had a little purple dinosaur on the packet. It was a brachiosaur or a brontosaurus or something like that, one of the ones with a long neck. He was purple and he had green polka dots on his hide. He was smiling.

It’s funny that I remember all of that, I mean I don’t know if that dinosaur is still hanging around somewhere, or whether or not he’s still on the grape flavored Kool-aid packet. I don’t even know if Kool-aid is still available.

I know that Kool-aid style drink mixes are still hanging around. You can buy them in little packets with tubes to flavor a single bottle of water, or you can get the bigger packets that can make one or two quart jugs just like you did with the Kool-aid packets. Only now they come presweetened. You don’t have to add a small mountain of sugar to make it taste the way it should. Which is good and bad, but that’s a discussion I’ll leave for another day.

Now comes another thing that seems to have become a theme on Thursdays. I’m not talking about anything to do with the blog, but rather with Facebook and Twitter and all those lovely social media sites: Throwback Thursday.

The idea for Throwback Thursday must have spawned from two points. One, Throwback Thursday is alliteration making it fun to hear and fun to say. Two, somebody started uploading their old photos on Facebook on Thursday and it caught on as a trend.

Well, Throwback Thursday caught me at an odd point, as I have been feeling very nostalgic for one reason or another and the Kool-aid thing really brought that to mind.

I miss being a kid. I miss being a ten year old. Things were safe back then, figuratively speaking. I didn’t have to worry about any adult responsibilities. I could do whatever I wanted, be it Sound Effects on the platform or if I was going to stay inside and play Nintendo or Sega (I don’t remember which one I had at the time). The other big question, should I play with my Power Ranger toys or should I play with my Beast Wars Transformers toys. Those are questions I didn’t have answers to back then. And, that’s a lot different than it is now.

Do I pay this bill and not have money for groceries?

Can we afford to pay for internet and television?

Can I afford a mobile phone right now with all the debt piled up over my head?

Those are the questions I don’t have answers to nowadays, and I would trade all of that to go back to being that ten year old boy.

Maybe that’s where my safe place is. That warm earthy smelling platform, like it had just rained, the place where many stories were born, grew old, and died. It was there that I felt safe from everything.

I want to go back to that platform. Back to that year. I want to forget all my adult problems. Alas, things don’t work like that. So, I’ll keep dreaming, and I’ll keep writing, and maybe I’ll find that ten year old again, and he can tell me what it was really like.

Ryan

2-13-14

PS: I put Sound Effects in italics because that’s what I used to call it when I went out to the platform to make up my stories. I would pace across that rough concrete surface, and I would see these wonderful things all of them behind my eyes, and I would make the noises that went alongside the stories. Fighter jet sounds, guns, occasionally the sound of someone else’s voice talking. Something like that. And, that’s a deep enough scab. Lol. Maybe I’ll tell you more about it later. For now. It’s bed time.

Dire Cheshire Cat

The Cheshire cat is a wonderful agent of confusion in The Alice in Wonderland stories, and when I say stories I mean all of the ones that’ve been written, and filmed, animated, and played via video game. All those stories are based on the original story Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. Lewis Carroll is a pen name for the author Charles Lutwidge Dodgson. Why he wrote under a pen name I don’t know. Although his name is a pain to say. Anyway, we seem to be straying from the topic.

I’ve touched on the Cheshire cat, for a few moments at least. Now, I’ll discuss the dire.

Dire: means extremely serious or urgent, and Dungeons and Dragons takes this word and creates Dire Animals. Take a wolf, for example. It’s a pretty big threat as it stands, but take that wolf and make it the size of a horse… Yeah, now you’ve got a dire situation caused by an animal of unusual size.

And, D&D didn’t stop with just a dire wolf; they went and made a whole slew of animals dire, from bears and boars to dire rats and dire bats. They’ve gone and made the whole damn forest full of squirrels that could send men running and screaming out of the woods. And, that’s not that I’ve seen a dire squirrel in any of the rule books, but that doesn’t mean it’s not out there.

Fear the Dire Squirrel.

Anyway, back to the Cheshire cat. The cat according to D&D rules wouldn’t be so much and animal as it would be a magical beast. (Magical Beast is the type of animal that has features that can’t quite be explained by nature, such as an animal that can talk and disappear on command. Just because it’s a magical beast doesn’t mean it can’t be dire. I found a dire template somewhere, I just don’t remember where.

Anyway, to make a dire creature you increase its size. A Cheshire cat is a tiny creature, and I want to make it into a large animal. So, starting at Tiny our Cheshire cat has a strength of 3, moving it up to a small size would increase its strength by 4. So, at a small size Cheshire has a 7 in strength. Then we do it again. Moving Cheshire from small to medium adds another 4 points to str, for a total of 11, but that’s not the end of it. We want our Cheshire cat to be a large creature, and to get from medium to large she gains 8 more points in str, leaving her with a total of 19 points in str. This change also reduces her dexterity.

This makes our Cheshire cat unhappy, and quite ready to rend the flesh off of someone’s face. And, she can do it without ever having to worry about anybody seeing her doing it. Why? Because the Cheshire cat can make good use of the greater invisibility spell, and attack actions don’t cause her to lose her concealment.

And, I’m back to not understanding what my brain is trying to tell me. So, I’m gonna stop this here.

G’nite kids.

Ryan

3-9-14

To Crochet

Yes, Minnie is going to pick up a new hobbie that has absolutely nothing to do with healing the other party members, or tending to Jacob. Her first project is to make an axe cozy to keep Axe’s axe blade nice and warm… and yeah, that’s not going to happen. I felt the need to get the game reference out of the blog post early. Other than that, I don’t expect this topic will touch on the game at all. And, instead of me asking Cupcake for a topic I came up with one all by myself.

dreamstime.com

To crochet, the act of crocheting, using a hook like needle to fold threads of yarn (or any string like material) into a desirable pattern to make a useful garment. Or something along those lines. I don’t know what the text book definition of crochet is, and it would be atypical of me to actually go and look it up. I rather enjoy winging it, and hoping everything comes out ok on the other side.

I’m not even sure, really, whether this post is going to be about crocheting. It just seemed like a good place to start as I was crocheting when I thought of it. And, crocheting is a really, kind of, fascinating craft. You can do a great many practical things with it, blankets, scarves, sweaters, hats, socks, hell you could probably crochet a pair of pants if you really wanted too, but sometimes the end result doesn’t matter.

Let’s look at it as if it were a journey. The destination isn’t the only important thing about the journey. I mean, hell, life is a journey and its destination is death. It’s what comes between those two points that really matters. The memories, the triumphs, and failures, all of that is one brick in the road our journey takes us along.

Now, how is crocheting like that? Isn’t crocheting a pretty mindless repetitive task? In a way, I guess it is, but breathing is also a mindless repetitive task. Buddhist monks use breathing, specifically control of their breathing, to enter into a meditative state, one where the physical does not matter and the mental is all that’s left. Crocheting, for me anyway, does the same thing. The simple act of concentrating on those mindless repetitive motions allows my mind to soar free of its mental confines and stressors. I’m free when I’m working that little hook back and forth, free in even a way that writing can’t replicate.

I think I’m starting to stumble over my words.

I feel bigger, and more at peace with the world around me when I crochet. Working the threads is sort of like being the hand of fate, creating all the twists and turns a person’s life is going to go through. Maybe it gives me a sense of control over my own life.

Maybe.

And, even in the places where I feel like I have the most control over my life, things get chaotic and out of hand. I imagine it’s a knot the hand of fate has run into, and he’s having to work the yarn a little harder to get it exactly the way he wants it.

This is where I’m going to stop, too. I don’t think I’d be happy if I kept on writing. It was taking a depressing turn. SO, to cheer myself back up, I’m going to go watch My Little Pony and crochet a bit more. Maybe figure out what it is I’m actually working on.

http://doctorxfizzle.deviantart.com/

Ryan

2-20-14

Blue

The color blue.

The sky is blue.

Psychologically speaking, blue is a relaxing calming color. But, the phrase “why so blue?” implies depression.

Melanie’s school colors are blue and black (a kind of sky blue) and I wouldn’t be surprised if the football players were black and blue after game.

My head isn’t screwed on straight today. But, I like the little tilt to my view. It makes life seem just a little bit better. It makes the weight on my back just little lighter. And, to be frank, if that screw ever went in straight, I wouldn’t be half the fun I am now. Lol. J

As for other things; Happy Birthday to Dungeons and Dragons, if I had realized this little fact yesterday, I would have set the game date for today. It would have made things a little bit more fun, and I’m sorry to say that Bob Shreve wouldn’t be here to play with us today. I betcha he’s rolling 20s up in heaven, playing  game DMed by J. R. R. Tolkien, and sitting right next to Gary Gygax. I miss you Bob.

But, that topic’s getting a little too blue for me, so we’ll try to find something else to chat about.

I want to write poem, but I’m very bad at that. Though, I wonder if it’s bad that I tried to turn that last sentence into the beginning of a sonnet (the only poem I really understand how to write). I would have gone on with it too, but I couldn’t think of a word that rhymes with poem. And, now I believe I’m going to go mad if I don’t think of something.

Hold on…

Google!

So, I found bunch of words that rhyme with poem. And, the strange thing is, words that I didn’t think would rhyme with I are considered rhymes. I don’t know though.

And, now my minds churning again, wanting to write that poem more and more. Hmm.

I want to write a poem

But, I’m very bad at that

It’s not often I carry a totem

But, then I really love my cat.

Today’s subject was the color blue

I didn’t know what to write about

So, my wife gave me little clue

Now I can speak my mind in a great loud shout!

I don’t do poetry very often

If you can’t tell from the random lines

That’s not something I want engraved on my coffin

I’d rather show it in my vines

Now my poems at an end

And, from now on I’ll call you friend.

Yeah, I’m definitely not cut out to be a poet. I think I shall gladly stick with my long form prose. I can write that out a little loudly.

I couldn’t help myself. Lol.

Anywho, I shall talk to you kids later.

Ryan

1-26-14

Journal 6-8-13

Shazam?

So, I’m bored. Lol.

Yeah, it’s 10:15pm, I have to be up for work at 5 and at work by 6, so I’m going to be going to bed here in just a little while. I do have a few things I would like to talk about in our short time together, though.

First, I’d like to apologize. I was unnecessarily violent in my post yesterday. That’s not to say that I’m sorry I said it. I’m an author, I can see those terrible dark hallways the human mind can travel down, and I’m gifted with the ability to describe violence in extreme detail. I like being able to do that. And, yesterday, I could see the anger I felt, the bloody waves of red that fell over me while they were ridiculing the dead. I couldn’t stand it. So, I lashed out in writing.

Instead of blasting it all up over my blog, I should have used that anger to fuel a short story; something about zombies rising from the grave to punish those who don’t respect the dead. Now, I don’t know if that avenue is still open. Oh, I could write the story, but I’m not sure if it would have the same fire and passion that I felt yesterday while writing that post.

C’est la vie.

As for my next point… I’m thinking about going to school again. This time I’m thinking about psychology, Forensic Psychology and Investigation. The course is at Southern Community and Technical College, and I’m hoping to be able to 4.0 the entire thing, fixing the major screw-ups that occurred my first time through school. Well, maybe not fixing, but it will put me back on the right path. It might get me a nice little office job, and I might qualify for a master’s program. That latter is the real reason I want to go back. With my current GPA, which shall remain unstated, I don’t qualify for any master’s program. Well, I could, but I would have to go through Phoenix and the only master’s I’d want through them would be psychology. Phoenix, with its online courses, doesn’t give the clinical experience that you would need to go into practice. So, I figure I’ll do this, find a good job, then go through with my masters, and get into practice.

And, all of that is moot if my writing career takes off first.

If you haven’t noticed I’ve been putting some work in on HubPages, which is a revenue sharing site based on traffic ads and what not. Basically, it’s paying to blog. I’ve been trying to get my fiction, and my articles on writing to turn a profit. And, they’ve done a fair job. But, the one video game review I did has turned out much better, lol. So, I guess I’m going to be doing some more video game reviews.

Anybody have any suggestions or requests.

Ryan

Don’t forget to check out my latest postings:

The Black Hole’s Teeth Chapters 1 and 3

In the Morning Light Chapter 6

The Toy Wizard

And

Little Nightmares

And

Raising Kain: Diseased God

And, my debut on YouTube

Tuna For The Kitten

And

More Tuna!