The Desert

Author: due.chiacchiere
Website

This is not to be mistaken for dessert, which happens to be tasty pastries stuffed with sugar. Or cake. Or any wild number of possibilities. Dessert is also not the topic of this post. It evokes an entirely different sort of imagery than what I intend on using for this post.

The desert. A vast wasteland that stretches on for miles and endless miles. The sun hangs low in these places, so it's closer to the ground and thus more capable of scorching rock and earth until nothing can grow. Anything that might have helped life flourish in these is incessantly beaten with fierce winds till it's ground to sand. The things that live there are broken and twisted creatures, designed to thrive on the destruction of other lives.

It's no place for a man to walk into unprepared.

It's no place for a man to walk into period.

Yet, in one fashion or another, we are always walking into the desert. Always walking into that unknown land stretching out before us. Before the present. The desert could certainly be used to represent the future and the unknowns it can bring.

It works as an image of the future for those who are dreading it. And, for those who feel they have no future.

The desert, the future, is simply where they go to die.

That's not the way my imagination is running right now. Just saying.

No, I'm thinking of a different figurative desert.

I've been poking at working on my novel, Cold Lunch, now for about a month. I even put the DnD game on hold until I get it finished. But, it feels like I've been wondering in a desert. I seem to have lost the connection to the book, the river than once ran through this desert and made the fields fertile and full of new life and new ideas.

Putting a book down and walking away from it is a bad idea for any writer, because you can lose that connection. That river can run dry. And, most times I would say this is fatal for the novel.

But, I'm trying to pull a Frankenstein here.

I've been reading through what I had written previously trying to make it rain. If I can find that connection again, then the river will run again, and the fertile fields will return. I don't know if i'll find that connection though...

At this point, I'm starting to feel like I've put the DnD game on hold for no reason at all.

I dunno.

I'm going to go wonder through the desert some more. Maybe preform a rain dance.

Later kids.

Ryan

5-6-14/5-7-14

Stephen King

First off, if there is a god of literature somewhere out in the cosmos his name is Stephen King, if that’s any indication of what I think of the man. Lol.

Yes, Stephen King is one of my top three favorite writers, and without a doubt he is the best, stylistically speaking, of the three. The stories he weaves with his web of words are above and beyond anything I’ve ever seen. I can only hope to be nearly as good as he is.

And, now, to get my nose out of his crack, I should try and find something new to say about the man.

He’s one of the most prolific authors of our time, publishing at least one book a year every year since Carrie was published in 1974. 1974 was the same year Dungeons and Dragons was first introduced to the world, and both D&D and Carrie are now forty years old. Well… technically, Carrie won’t hit the big four-o until April 5^th. Exactly one month away from the time of this writing.

At one point I had hoped and prayed that my writing career would mirror Stephen King’s. I had hoped to be published the year I turned 24 (King’s age when Carrie sold), and I’ve hoped to be published every year since then. I’ve not really done a lot of work in that direction though. I mean, I’ve got six novels written (first draft at least), but I’ve only got one to the point where I considered it finished. And, I stopped trying to sell that one some time ago.

That’s really my problem too. The reason that I haven’t succeeded thus far is because I haven’t tried. (That’s usually a good reason for not succeeding.) But, in all seriousness I gave it a half hearted attempt what feels like ages ago, and I’ve talked a big game since then. How I’m going to do this, and I’m going to do that, but I’ve put no effort behind it.

I think I’m scared.

I really do.

I think I’m afraid of putting myself out there and finding out that nobody likes it. And, worse, that people will say bad things about it.

I know that’s a damned stupid thing to be afraid of. Everybody has an opinion, and that opinion isn’t always going to agree with what I’m thinking. So, basically, being afraid of hearing other people’s opinions is kind of like not eating because you’re afraid of choking. I saw that on a meme somewhere. Jason David Frank’s facebook page I believe, but where I found it doesn’t matter. I should listen to it. I should stop being afraid of these things and move on with my life. At the rate I’m going I’ll never have the career I want.

So… yeah… That post didn’t go anywhere near where I thought it would go.

As for working Stephen King into my game I have a couple of options. I can use him as an NPC (lol). I could possibly work one of his monsters into an adventure maybe even having it be the primary antagonist (“We all float down here, Georgie. And, when you’re down here, you’ll float too!”). And, then there’s the simplest way to do it. I can use him as an inspiration to move both my life forward and take my Dungeons and Dragons game one or two steps down a much more terrifying flight of stairs.

Ryan

3-5-14

Cupcakes

I got another topic from Mel for today. I like it that way, personally. I find it rather entertaining. Not that I’m not coming up with my own topics, but rather not being able to prepare anything for the topic before I name it. Cupcake gives me the subject, and I get to writing. In a way it’s easier to write like that.

And, for today’s topic Mel might as well have asked me who my favorite superhero is.

There’s only one idea, one image that pops into my head when I hear the word cupcake. It’s not a picture of a little pastry with too much icing on top. No, it’s a picture of my beautiful wife.

I forget when I started calling her Cupcake and I forget why, but it’s stuck with me forever after. She’ll always be my Cupcake. As for answering the “who’s my favorite superhero” question, she’s the answer to that. Cupcake is my favorite superhero. No comic book character ever has held a candle to her might.

She’s my shoulder to cry on.

My flashlight in the dark.

She’s the strength that keeps me standing.

I can honestly say that I’m still drawing breath today because of her.

Something broke inside me, and she’s helping put the pieces back together, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to repay her for that. I can’t even begin to articulate what she means to me. It’s too much for words, for drawing, too much for any form of art to describe. The closest I could to it is her being my favorite superhero.

If I could (drawing is on my list of things to learn how to do) I would draw a picture of her. In it she’d be standing up on a building ledge, in a purple one piece… Okay, more along the lines of what Black Widow was wearing in The Avengers, but she’d have a little symbol over her heart. In it would be a cupcake, with purple frosting instead of pink, she doesn’t like the color pink, and it would have a little cherry on top of it. It would be a yellow background, a kind of pastel yellow, not the same kind of yellow Robin uses in his symbol. On the back of her jacket the symbol would be repeated, only a lot larger. And, it would have writing around it:

Cupcake came to town to kick your ass.

And, she wouldn’t be wearing a mask. Why? Because she doesn’t need one, and masks don’t fit her personality at all, with her everything is right out in the open. And, she’s a Hatfield; she doesn’t get mad… just even.

She’d also be a walking armory, what with all the knives and daggers and throwing starts, but there would be no guns. Just like her attitude towards pink, my Cupcake doesn’t like guns.

Crossbows are a completely different story, however.

A little target practice with one, and she’d give Darrell of The Walking Dead a run for his money, at least according to her dice rolls.

Anyway, yes, I need to learn how to draw and I need to learn how to code. Both of them take time and practice, and I’m impatient… Damnit.

Bah.

I’ll talk to you kids later.

Ryan

1-30-14

PS: Cupcake, I love you!!!

Random Topic #1

I don’t know what it is. Lol.

Today is one of those days where I need Mel’s brain to pick things out for me. But, she’s not here today. They cancelled school, but had a Code W (in Mingo County it’s a Code W, I don’t know what it is elsewhere) which means students aren’t going to be there, but teachers have to report. And, I don’t get it. Teachers are paid to teach, if there are no students there why do the teachers need to be there. It’s like having a full staff at McDonalds, but the stores closed and there’s not a customer in sight. It just doesn’t make sense. I dunno, it’s probably got something to do with them being on salary or some shit like that.

Also, my walk for the day was screwed up because of the Code W. Normally, I do laps around the elementary school, which is right beside my house. I do my laps when nobody’s there. Because of the Code W there were people there. Grump.

So, I had to take another route, which screwed with my normal shebang and messed up my pedometer reading because of all the snow I had to trudge through. I really need to start getting up early enough to get the mud room warmed up. Then I can use the treadmill for my walk. And, at the very least I could just do laps in there. I dunno.

And, now I’m running out of things to talk about. My brain and I aren’t getting along well at the moment.

Usually, by this point I’ve managed to find a way to include some Dungeons and Dragons reference in the post. Or I’ll swing the post around to being about D&D altogether, and I think we’re going to go that direction today too. But, we’re going to throw a little Minecraft in there as well.

I’m lazy, and I’ve been trying to figure out what my world looks like. I’ve looked online for map making software, specifically for gaming purposes, but most of it was expensive and I’m not sure if it was for gaming or not. So, I had no luck there.

Then I started playing Minecraft, and I realized that Minecraft is pretty much a random map generator. There are also addons/mods/whatever that give you a world map. I used Amidst, and I think I’ve got a pretty good idea of what my world looks like now.

Now, I’m just trying to figure out how the stories I’ve made up thus far and their locations fit in with the map. I’m not sure yet, but I’ll figure it out. I know that the world spawn is going to be the location of the world’s largest city, Priasez. And, I’ve more or less picked out a location for the current city the PCs are in (Netheretia). I’ve even gone so far as to “clear” out a space to build this particular city.

Netheretia is a city situated in the Underhaven (underground) which is why the hole goes so deep. That and I really like blowing things up. Though clearing out all the left over bits and pieces is hard; that and cleaning up the lava and other things. It’s time consuming… (And, the destruction pictured above is much more widespread then what the screen capture encompasses.)

Which is something I dislike. I’m lazy and I’m impatient. I don’t want to worry about all this clean up, I want my city done now! I don’t even want to build it myself. I want it to appear all on its own. Though that’s probably about as likely as a million dollars suddenly materializing in my bank account.

Anywho, that’s more than enough out of me. Later kids.

Ryan

1-24-14

As Time Goes By

In the last two days I’ve managed to forget my blog post each day L So, now I’ve had a major drop in views and the people who usually read my blog are upset. Probably not really, but I’m going to think that anyway. As negative as it might be.

But, I’m working on things, trying to push forward and not let the days I’ve stumbled clutter my mind and drag me down. I’m only human, I make mistakes the same as everybody else. What gets me though is how I dwell on those mistakes, and inflate them to great sizes. I give them more importance than they should have, and it weighs me down.

It makes me miserable.

And, misery is easy. Misery is the lazy way of life, the acceptance of mediocrity, and the denial of the fruits of our true labors and passions. Misery is easy because you don’t have to change.

Even now my mind is fighting against that word. It’s afraid of that word and so am I. Change means so many things. Making sure you change your underwear is the least of it. Change means success and failure. Change means pain and misery of a different variety, but if you strive through it and push hard enough you can break through that misery. You can improve.

I need to change, and I’ve been trying to change bit by bit. I’ve needed to change for a long while now and all the bits and pieces of that realization are falling together. I was even talking to one of my friends today about having to change the way she thinks so that she becomes good at math. I told her she needs to make that decision and find the way to follow through with it until she’s found her way out the other side; when she’s over to the point where math is easy.

I need to practice what I’ve been preaching.

For some reason all that sounds extremely negative, and I’ve managed to depress myself by writing it. That wasn’t my intention. I really promise that it wasn’t. I wanted to find the good in it, the thread of it that I can take and apply to my life to help clean up the mess I’ve made.

There was a Macklemore & Ryan Lewis song, I believe, that’s either about movies or books, but either way it’s talking about something one must do with both. They talk about how your whole life is this book/movie and that there’s only one person that has the ability to edit that work. I am the only person that can edit my story. You’re the only person that can edit your story. So on and so forth. The point is, again, that there’s only one place change can come from. (After driving around for a little while my mp3 player played this song. It is “Life is Cinema” and it’s comparing life to a movie. Just thought I’d throw that out there.)

And, I’m not saying that other people can’t help. There are hordes of people that can help. There’s even a series of careers based solely on that idea of helping somebody change. You are the only person who can institute change, but others can help instigate it, or show you the many paths you have to choose from, and they can show you the tools you can use to make that change.

In other words, therapists are awesome. You should go and get one right now.

Everybody needs to change. Remaining static is akin to dying. And, there’s one phrase I’m looking for right now. A common cliché I believe. Shit or get off the pot. Yeah, that’s it. Shit or get off the pot. Do something different with your life. Don’t just sit there. Embrace change.

Ryan