The Undertaker

This is an odd one. Lol. It’s like with CM Punk, Cupcake gave me a wrestler to talk about and now I’ve got to figure out what to say. Lol. Honestly it should be easy though, as the Undertaker is one of the most recognizable wrestlers in the professional wrestling industry. At least he used to be. Now, he’s kind of dwindled down to doing one match a year. The match at Wrestlemania, the match he always wins because the Undertaker has never lost a match at Wrestlemania. In fact, that streak has become material for whoever it is he’s going up against to use in their promos.

Taker’s opponent this year is Brock Lesnar, a beast of a man who has more in common with a rock than a human being. He’s using this whole “conqueror” thing as his take on the match with the Undertaker. Lesnar’s manager, Paul Heyman, comes out to the ring at least twice an episode to announce that Lesnar is going to conquer the streak.

The match will be pretty good. The Undertaker’s matches are always damn good. But, one must look at it like this. The Undertaker is probably the oldest wrestler climbing into the ring at Wrestlemania (he’s 48 and that’s damn old for a professional wrestler) and he’s going up against the human equivalent of a semi.

I might actually have to sit down and work up stats for these two wrestlers just to work out a good probability of who will win. I know it’s going to be the Undertaker. Let’s face it, if Lesnar wins Taker fans will riot in the streets. But, just knowing the statistics of the match will be entertaining.

Something else interesting to note, it was CM Punk who went up against the Undertaker this last Wrestlemania. That was a fantastic f***ing fight.

And, now for requisite information.

Making the Undertaker work as a Dungeons and Dragons character wouldn’t be too hard. I’m not sure how the template is worked in Pathfinder, but the Undertaker could fall under two undead templates. First, and most likely, he could be a death knight (a grave knight or demonic knight in Pathfinder). I say this is the more likely of the two as the death knight/grave knight is a martial combat template. While the other option would be a lich; I could see some justification for this template through the way the character is portrayed (particularly when they made a big fuss about the Undertaker’s urn), but I’d still lean towards a Death Knight. As for a race…I think I might put him as a half giant or an ogre, something big and powerful, but still carrying plenty of speed (to some extent intelligence, though that would be a bit of a stretch when it comes to the ogre).

And, one more fun little thing.

I am absolutely positive that when the Undertaker is beaten at Wrestlemania it will be revealed that he is a time lord. His regeneration cycle will kick in, and upon completion of that Undertaker 2.0 will finish mopping the floor with whoever his opponent is.

So, now that all that has been said (including the Doctor Who reference) it’s time for me to go and get in bed.

G’nite all.

Ryan

3-10-14

PS: When I was talking about the Undertaker with my wife, earlier today, I told her he was going to be a fighter/barbarian death/grave knight of level 13 or higher. I also implied that they might have to face off with him. Lol.

Darth Vader vs. The Silence

So, I’ve had a depressing day, and instead of talking about that I’m going to talk about the thing mentioned above. Yes, I didn’t want to write about being depressed and that’s the first topic that Melanie suggested. She made other suggestions, but that’s the one that got lodged in my mind, and thus is going to be today’s topic.

Now, I’m a big Doctor Who fan, but not to the extent that I’ve watched every episode ever televised. In fact I’ve seen very little about the Eleventh Doctor and The Silence were one of his major villains. I saw the 2013 Christmas Special (The Time of the Doctor…and there will be a post about that at a later date.) in which they were featured as an ally of the Doctor in his fight to keep the time war from starting for a second time, but that’s a little off topic.

Anyway, what I know about the Silence is pretty simple. They’re manipulative aliens with psychic abilities (who remind me of Mind Flayers from Dungeons and Dragons) with an even better ability. They have the power to make a person forget they ever saw the Silence as soon as they look away from the alien. It’s a killer ability, but I don’t think it would be enough to topple Vader.

What I know about Darth Vader is a little bit more intensive, lol. He’s a Dark Lord of the Sith with all the rights and responsibilities therein. He can manipulate the force, bending its will to his own and making it into a weapon to use against those who oppose him. Obi-wan Kenobi comment once that Darth Vader was more machine then man and it was Obi-wan who saw to that on the volcanic planet of Mustafar.

I did have a question for Melanie though. Which version of Vader would the Silence be facing off with. By that I meant were they going to be facing the Darth Vader coming out of Revenge of the Sith, or the Darth Vader going into Return of the Jedi. Revenge of the Sith Vader is still a hotheaded child, locked in a deep depression, with no real focus as to what was going on in the world around him. He was also just beginning to get used to his new body and the lack of mobility the life saving machinery created. Return of the Jedi Vader was the penultimate Sith lord. He was seasoned in the ways of the Force and the world, and had had two or more apprentices in the thirty years between Revenge and Jedi. He had become a master of his own maneuverability and was prepared to do anything and everything necessary to win. Facing off with that Vader would just be stupid.

But, Melanie said she wanted the Vader coming straight out of Revenge. So, we’ve got a manipulative violent man-child (comes really close to being exactly like the Doctor during his fight with the Silence) that’s not paying much attention to anything, except for his own sorrow. And, we’ve got a multitude of the Silence itching for a chance to put Vader in his place.

But…

But… the Force surrounds and binds all things… all living things. The Silence are as much a part of the Force as Vader is, and through the Force Vader would detect he Silence without forgetting about them.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t think the Silence stand much of a chance against Vader’s lightsaber. It’s just a little bit more dangerous than the Doctors sonic screwdriver… just a little.

I picked Vader, but who would you pick?

Darth Vader versus the Silence: who would win? Let me know in the comments below.

Ryan