My Cupcake

My topic for today was supposed to be skinwalkers, and while I have that post half written I think I’ll wait and post it tomorrow. I’ve got something else to talk about today. Something that I feel is quite inspirational.

Let me see if I can set the stage for it, so you can feel the same way about it.

I think off and on (a dangerous prospect) about what I’ve accomplished in my life and all the potential I feel has been wasted. When I think about these things I get quite morose, and one of the number one subject I think about is school.

I messed up in college. I really did. I know most of the blame for that falls at the feet of a diseased I will mention no further, but I still feel the fault is mine. I could have fought back and worked towards the potential I thought I had. Well, the potential I know I had. Don’t get me wrong, I accomplished a lot. I graduated, and I have a bachelor’s degree at my house waiting to be framed and put on the wall in my office. But, it wasn’t bachelor’s degree I wanted. It wasn’t any of the degrees I wanted.

And, that’s what I was thinking about last night. I was missing being in school, knowing I could do better, especially now with all the steps forward I’ve taken. I was thinking about the degree programs I could apply myself to now with the same discipline and energy I put towards keeping up with my daily goals. I thought of several.

I want an associate’s degree in forensic psychology and addiction counseling because of my interest in the field of psychology.

I want an associate’s degree in software and web design because my sister inspired me to go for that field. And, I made a promise to a friend that I would design a program that made a DM’s life a just a little easier. He’s gone now, but I’m going to keep that promise.

I want to finish all the bachelor’s programs I started. The history and English focuses in literature and writing. And, I want to get a bachelor’s in psychology for the same reason I want the associates.

There are even two master’s programs I want to go through. I want an MFA in creative writing, focusing in particular on writing novels. And, I want a master’s psychology, again, that’s because of the same reason I want the associate’s and the bachelor’s.

Those wants and desires right there require one thing above even the determination I could put into those programs. They require money, a literal mountain of money.

And, that kind of brings us around to the point I wanted to say about my cupcake. She came into my writing room and stood beside me and asked why I was down. I told her about the school thing and about how much it was cost, and she looked at me and said two words: Then Write.

Then write.

Like the answer was as plain as the nose on her face, so much was said in those two words; so many feelings that I don’t even know how to describe them, but she knew the answer as she always does. I doubted myself, and my ability to make a career out of writing. But, she doesn’t doubt it. And, I don’t think she ever has.

Then write.

Words really can the world, and now that mine’s been changed, I need to get to work.

Thank you Cupcake, for everything you’ve done and everything you will ever do for me. Thank you for being able to see that little flickering flame inside of me, and knowing exactly how to feed it. I will write, and I will make you proud of me, and that one thing is what will make me happiest in this world. I love you.

Ryan

4-3-14

Snow

So, I still haven’t come up with a list of random topics to write about, and I didn’t want to talk about anything serious today. So, I used Mel as a random topic generator and she gave me snow as a topic… I don’t know what to write about snow…

Damn it.

Well, I guess I can just start going, and let the writing come the way it usually does.

Snow is the white fluffy stuff that falls from the sky when it’s really friggin’ cold outside. It’s pretty, but it’s kind of a double edged sword. Snow, and its close cousin ice, is dangerous when it accumulates on roads. This is why I’ve always (since I started driving anyway) said I’d love snow if it didn’t fall on the road.

However, Mel wouldn’t like that development much. If snow didn’t fall on the roads then there would be no reason to call off school. And, the way she puts it, snow days are the reason she became a teacher. I thought it was because she really had a passion for passing knowledge on to the generation of tomorrow. If not that, I thought it would at least be June, July, and August. Although, those reasons might be disappearing soon; I’ve heard talk of year round schooling. :P

As for other things about snow, you can build snowmen, and snowball fights hurt a lot less than rock fights. And, it’s always entertaining to introduce somebody who’s never seen snow to that type of weather. Plus the entertainment value of seeing states like North Carolina overreact to an inch of snow. There’s also the people up north who think we overreact when it comes to snow. Then there are the people from northern Canada and Alaska who are like “we drive on lakes, what’s this putting down salt thing you’re talking about?”

And, I had more entertaining references to people who live in cold climates, but there really aren’t enough people living in Antarctica to make funny references about. Though you have to wonder, is it possible that a tribe of humans evolved and became suited to living under the ice and through tunnels in the glaciers. Homo Coldasballsus perhaps? I guess there are possibilities, but it sounds more like a good idea for a horror novel.

I’ll have to pack that one away and see if anything comes out of it.

There was something else I’d thought about, but it went away.

Yetis maybe…

Now we’re travelling down a slippery slope that would lead us straight to a bad Sci Fi movie. Or it might lead us to a wampa layer where we’ll find a mummified wampa with only one arm. Who knows?

I think my favorite fictional snow dwelling creature-ish thing is the Arctic Dwarves. Those little buggers (seriously, they’re only two feet tall) come out of the Forgotten Realms campaign setting for Dungeons and Dragons. They’re not much like other dwarves though. They live in tribes instead of clans (big difference there lol) and lean more towards a barbaric nature (if I’m not mistaken their favored class is barbarian) and their crafts obviously lean more towards skins and beads and ice working rather than masonry and metal work. Think miniature Eskimos, lol.

And, I think I’ll end this here. I’ve been inspired to go and make a winter based dwarven race for my own campaign setting. Later folks.

Ryan

1-21-14

Journal 6-8-13

Shazam?

So, I’m bored. Lol.

Yeah, it’s 10:15pm, I have to be up for work at 5 and at work by 6, so I’m going to be going to bed here in just a little while. I do have a few things I would like to talk about in our short time together, though.

First, I’d like to apologize. I was unnecessarily violent in my post yesterday. That’s not to say that I’m sorry I said it. I’m an author, I can see those terrible dark hallways the human mind can travel down, and I’m gifted with the ability to describe violence in extreme detail. I like being able to do that. And, yesterday, I could see the anger I felt, the bloody waves of red that fell over me while they were ridiculing the dead. I couldn’t stand it. So, I lashed out in writing.

Instead of blasting it all up over my blog, I should have used that anger to fuel a short story; something about zombies rising from the grave to punish those who don’t respect the dead. Now, I don’t know if that avenue is still open. Oh, I could write the story, but I’m not sure if it would have the same fire and passion that I felt yesterday while writing that post.

C’est la vie.

As for my next point… I’m thinking about going to school again. This time I’m thinking about psychology, Forensic Psychology and Investigation. The course is at Southern Community and Technical College, and I’m hoping to be able to 4.0 the entire thing, fixing the major screw-ups that occurred my first time through school. Well, maybe not fixing, but it will put me back on the right path. It might get me a nice little office job, and I might qualify for a master’s program. That latter is the real reason I want to go back. With my current GPA, which shall remain unstated, I don’t qualify for any master’s program. Well, I could, but I would have to go through Phoenix and the only master’s I’d want through them would be psychology. Phoenix, with its online courses, doesn’t give the clinical experience that you would need to go into practice. So, I figure I’ll do this, find a good job, then go through with my masters, and get into practice.

And, all of that is moot if my writing career takes off first.

If you haven’t noticed I’ve been putting some work in on HubPages, which is a revenue sharing site based on traffic ads and what not. Basically, it’s paying to blog. I’ve been trying to get my fiction, and my articles on writing to turn a profit. And, they’ve done a fair job. But, the one video game review I did has turned out much better, lol. So, I guess I’m going to be doing some more video game reviews.

Anybody have any suggestions or requests.

Ryan

Don’t forget to check out my latest postings:

The Black Hole’s Teeth Chapters 1 and 3

In the Morning Light Chapter 6

The Toy Wizard

And

Little Nightmares

And

Raising Kain: Diseased God

And, my debut on YouTube

Tuna For The Kitten

And

More Tuna!