Pikachu, Meatloaf, and the Holy Order of the Lampshade

I love my wife. Lol. That’s all I can say. Lol.

The above list is what my Cupcake gave to me for my topics for the evening. Well, except for the Holy Order of the Lampshade, that one I came up with on my own after seeing Pikachu and Meatloaf.

So… here’s a recipe for Meatloaf, and for the sake of this blog post we’re going to replace the 1½ lbs of ground beef with 1½ lbs of ground Pikachu. That’s going to be a difficult amount to get a hold of seeing as your average Pikachu is about 3 lbs which means that there’s not that much usable meat on such a critter. So… I’m going to say that you’re probably going to need at least 10 maybe 15 Pikachu to get the correct amount of meat. Then there are the fixins. I mean, what does one serve with Pikachu Meatloaf. Is that going to be good with ketchup, like normal meatloaf? And, what about the others additives to the mix, onions, peppers, I mean there’s a lot of different options and factions to take into consideration when you’re changing the main ingredient in the dish. Seriously, I don’t think what tastes good with ground beef will taste the same with ground Pikachu…

And, that brings us to the Holy Order of the Lampshade. They’re an order of paladins that happen to have Pikachu Meatloaf as a dietary staple. Day in and day out, these holy knights suffer the consequences of eating something that has the ability to produce a static discharge equal to 25,000 volts. That’s got to mean some terrible, terrible heartburn. But, maybe it also has beneficial side effects, like some form of elemental resistance to electricity and associated Air Elementals. Maybe it even gives them the ability to produce a line of lightning as a breath weapon, so long as they use the ability within four hours of eating Pikachu Meatloaf.

I think that’d be awesome. Again, though, it would probably be a hell of a heartburn problem, one that Nexium and Prilosec can’t treat so easily.

Anyway, that’s enough out of me today.

Now, go and enjoy a healthy helping of Pikachu Meatloaf, just don’t forget the glass of milk, one produced by Miltanks.

Ryan

7-15-14

The Shovel of Truth

The Shovel of Truth (pictured above) is a +5 golden holy shovel of lie smiting and depression bane. Its use is designed solely to clear away all the nasty crap one's mind comes up with at the worst of times. Like when you think that nobody cares about the things you do.

It's not true.

It never has been, and it never will be. Somebody will always care about the things you are doing. And, sometimes you won't even realize those people are there.

I've been feeling that way recently. I've been kind of in the dumps about a lot of things, and one of those things happened to be my blogging and the results I didn't think I was getting.

Well, I had a real long drawn out chat with a friend of mine and she was telling me about how depression is just one great big lie. It's your mind working against you, telling you things, hateful things that aren't true. It's the voice that whispers about how you messed up that job interview. It's the voice that tells you you're worthless, that everything you've done up to this point has been meaningless.

After a while, those lies get heavy, and I told my friend about how I am. I told her that all I wanted to do was collapse beneath them, let them run me over, just so I could get a little rest. I told her I wanted to give in, and give up. Then I told her what giving up meant to me (and that's not something I'll repeat here), and she told me that I didn't strike her as the type of person who just gave up.

I believe that.

There have been so many points, so many places in my life where I've just wanted to give up. I've wanted to lay in bed and wallow in my grief and self-pity. I've believed the things depression's been telling me. But, I didn't give up.

I kept moving. And, it hasn't always been my own will that's got me going. More than once it's been my wonderful Cupcake pulling me up out of the muck and getting me to start moving again. And, I thank her for that. She like's to say she's a flashlight for me, to help me find my way in the dark. I like to think of her more as a lighthouse, one that shines as bright as any star, and let's me see the world for miles and miles.

And, now I have a shovel to help that lighthouse. Lol. Poor analogy, but I think you get what I mean. I now have a weapon to use to beat that depression back. I have the truth to back me up.

The lie: Nobody cares about my blog/writing.

The truth:

Blogger- On average I get between 20 and 30 hits a day, with one official follower.

Fanfiction.net- One of my stories has 59 favorites, 107 alerts, is featured in 2 communities, and is just shy of 50,000 views.

Hubpages- I have 10 followers, and I haven't posted a Hub in the last three months or so.

People care. The proof is there, and I just need to be patient to get the numbers I want.

So, I'm going to take my Shovel o' Truth, and I'm going to go beat some depression/lie zombies to death. Later.

Ryan
4-23-14

My Cupcake

My topic for today was supposed to be skinwalkers, and while I have that post half written I think I’ll wait and post it tomorrow. I’ve got something else to talk about today. Something that I feel is quite inspirational.

Let me see if I can set the stage for it, so you can feel the same way about it.

I think off and on (a dangerous prospect) about what I’ve accomplished in my life and all the potential I feel has been wasted. When I think about these things I get quite morose, and one of the number one subject I think about is school.

I messed up in college. I really did. I know most of the blame for that falls at the feet of a diseased I will mention no further, but I still feel the fault is mine. I could have fought back and worked towards the potential I thought I had. Well, the potential I know I had. Don’t get me wrong, I accomplished a lot. I graduated, and I have a bachelor’s degree at my house waiting to be framed and put on the wall in my office. But, it wasn’t bachelor’s degree I wanted. It wasn’t any of the degrees I wanted.

And, that’s what I was thinking about last night. I was missing being in school, knowing I could do better, especially now with all the steps forward I’ve taken. I was thinking about the degree programs I could apply myself to now with the same discipline and energy I put towards keeping up with my daily goals. I thought of several.

I want an associate’s degree in forensic psychology and addiction counseling because of my interest in the field of psychology.

I want an associate’s degree in software and web design because my sister inspired me to go for that field. And, I made a promise to a friend that I would design a program that made a DM’s life a just a little easier. He’s gone now, but I’m going to keep that promise.

I want to finish all the bachelor’s programs I started. The history and English focuses in literature and writing. And, I want to get a bachelor’s in psychology for the same reason I want the associates.

There are even two master’s programs I want to go through. I want an MFA in creative writing, focusing in particular on writing novels. And, I want a master’s psychology, again, that’s because of the same reason I want the associate’s and the bachelor’s.

Those wants and desires right there require one thing above even the determination I could put into those programs. They require money, a literal mountain of money.

And, that kind of brings us around to the point I wanted to say about my cupcake. She came into my writing room and stood beside me and asked why I was down. I told her about the school thing and about how much it was cost, and she looked at me and said two words: Then Write.

Then write.

Like the answer was as plain as the nose on her face, so much was said in those two words; so many feelings that I don’t even know how to describe them, but she knew the answer as she always does. I doubted myself, and my ability to make a career out of writing. But, she doesn’t doubt it. And, I don’t think she ever has.

Then write.

Words really can the world, and now that mine’s been changed, I need to get to work.

Thank you Cupcake, for everything you’ve done and everything you will ever do for me. Thank you for being able to see that little flickering flame inside of me, and knowing exactly how to feed it. I will write, and I will make you proud of me, and that one thing is what will make me happiest in this world. I love you.

Ryan

4-3-14

Mutants

So, I’ve been on the naughty list for the last couple of days. Yes, I’ve been writing and posting my blog posts, but I haven’t been doing it the way I should be. Take today’s post for example. Cupcake gave me the topic, mutants, yesterday after I posted my discussion on April Fool’s Day. But, I’m just now (at 8:13 pm) sitting down to write today’s post. This means I’m going to be behind on getting my stats posted and that will mean a wide number of other things which I really don’t want to talk about here. It’s all just prattle.

Anyway, the topic is mutants, and I suppose I should be able to come up with a fairly decent post about mutants, mainly because I feel like one half of the time. Lol.

Cupcake was watching an episode of Face Off (SyFy reality tv show about practical effects make up and design) and the topic of the contest for that episode was mutants. Each of the contestants designed their own mutants and so on and so forth, the rest doesn’t matter so far as I’m concerned. What does is the concept, the question the challenge raises: What is a mutant and what does that mean to you?

It’s kind of a double question, but a good one none the less.

There are a couple of things that come to mind when I hear the word mutant. Most of those are pop culture references, and I think maybe one of them comes from scientific fact. That’s the one I want to talk about first.

As far as I can tell (and this is without me checking Google) a mutation is often an irregularity or abnormality n the genetic sequence. This irregularity often causes problems with the individual born with that mutation. An example of this could be a deer born with five legs, or it may have three eyes. And, there are other more common mutations. People are born blind, or they’re born with Down syndrome or something similar. This is and isn’t a mutation, it’s more like a birth defect caused by an irregularity in the genetic sequence… which is exactly what I just said to define a mutation…

Herm.

Mutations are also highly useful when it comes to evolution. First, there were a lot of brown bears, because there were a lot of temperate forests between ice ages. But, when the world got cold again, the ice caps spread and a lot more of the earth became white. Brown bears had trouble with getting food because their prey could see them miles away and get the hell out. Then there was a mutation. A bear was born with white fur (technically a polar bear’s fur is clear because it lacks any sort of pigment) and was better suited to sneaking up on its prey. This made the bears with white fur continue to survive and breed and be born, and the brown bears in the polar area slowly died out. (And, yes, I totally just stole that example from Cosmos.)

Now, the other references I can think of are right up Face Off’s alley. It’s the X-men from Marvel Comics. And, the mutant bug movies of the 1950’s. And, I’ll leave you with what I think is the most famous pop culture mutant of all time:

Ryan

4-2-14

April Fool’s Day

I thought about writing a post entitled Cupcake’s Pregnant, but I ditched the idea. The joke became a little to real for me, digging down into that place where all our fears lie in wait.

What fears are those?

They’re something I’d rather not talk about. Today has been too glorious a day for dark feelings and depression. The sun is out riding high in the sky and the temps have swarmed up to 80 degrees, at least that’s where it was when I got out of my car. The skies were blue, and there wasn’t a cloud in sight. And, if this is Mother Nature’s way of saying April Fools and dumping a foot of snow on us tomorrow, I’m going to find a way to split the earth in two.

Going to have to do some research there, find Tesla’s plans for his death ray, and adapt it into a railgun-esq contraption… And, there goes that train of thought.

Anyway, where did April Fool’s Day come from?

I bet Google knows.

Google pointed me to Wikipedia and Wikipedia confused me. My attention span has been rather short today, and I’ve only been reading like every third word or so. Plus, I’ve got a headache starting, and my gums are hurting again.

God, there’s really nothing about this topic that’s catching my interest. This is making it very difficult for me to talk about it.

Nothing like Booze, Drugs, and Sex to celebrate the good times.

I guess I could relate it to Dungeons and Dragons in some way shape or form. I could write an adventure based on the holiday, and use the festivals Hilaria, a Roman festival, and the Feast of Fools, a Medieval festival. The adventure hooks could be simple. A group of young boys play a prank on a wealthy merchant by setting an animal of some sort loose in the merchant’s shop. The merchant takes things farther and intends to have the boys killed. It would be up to the PCs to set things to right by stopping the assassins, bringing the boys to the merchant to apologize and get them to help repair what was damaged by their wild animal. Or the merchant could contract the PCs to bring him the boys, and when they arrive have the merchant’s men murder the boys. The merchant would look at his handy work and walk away from the PCs, his last words to them being “Enjoy the Feast of Fools.”

A hundred other scenarios come to mind as well, but I’ll keep those to myself.

And, this makes me think of the ultimate April Fool’s Day prank to have ever existed. Though, it occurs during Carnival, a wild celebration taking place before the beginning of Lent. The victim of the joke if Fortunato, whose walled into an alcove in a crypt beneath Montresor’s home. The Cask of Amontillado should have been set on April Fool’s day. The Amontillado is the joke, the bait that pulls the victim in. And, before the last brick is set in place Montresor should look in and say “April Fools.”

Though the phrase In Pace Requiescat (Rest in peace) is sort of a fitting ending.\

In Pace Requiescat my ass!

 Bull shit! It should be “April Fools.” I’m going to rewrite The Cask of Amontillado, and make it happen exactly the way it should. Yes, sir!

Ryan

4-1-14

Dream House part 2

Okay, so this last week has sucked pretty hard core, and yeah, I could give a hundred reasons as to why it sucked, and I would probably spend most of my time bitching about my mouth. I’m not upset at the dentist, which would be stupid as he’s not the one that caused the problems in the first place. That responsibility falls squarely on my head and the poor hygiene decisions I’ve made in the past. I’m getting better now and getting the work on my teeth done is a part of that. But, GD it hurts.

And, that enough whining from me.

What I wanted to talk about right now is one of the things that made this a good week amidst all the hell: Our dream house.

My post yesterday was about this absolutely beautiful house, and it included a wide array of pictures depicting this house. While I find the house is a fascinating topic, I don’t think there’s really much more to say about all of it until I’ve been inside it. What I do find fascinating is the concept of the Dream House.

What is a dream house?

A simple answer: A dream house is the ideal house for a person/couple who can see themselves living in that one place, contentedly, for the rest of their lives.

The difficult answer: I don’t know.

The Dream House is a symbol of status and stature. It’s a way of saying “Look Mom and Dad! Look! I made it! I’m living the American Dream!”

It also seems as though there’s a great deal more psychology. I mean you could easily look at the size of the house and judge just how successful a person has been in their chosen field. Look at doctors and lawyers for instance. They don’t live in palatial homes, but I can guarantee they typically have houses that have ten plus rooms. Some of their houses even come with guest houses instead of just guest rooms.

And, I lost where I was going with this.

Either way, a person’s house is like a castle. Its size represents the strength and success of the one who built it. It’s positioning (especially in a mountainous area like WV) could be another indication of how a person sees themselves. If they’re building a big house on the crest of a mountain it’s because they want to feel powerful. They want to be above other people, and they want to be looked up at.

This even works in the opposite direction. Peole who build huge castles with thick walls are insecure and vulnerable. They don’t feel like they’re able to protect themselves or their family, so they build this big house to look strong and impressive. They set their houses up high on the mountain because they feel looked down upon, and weak. It’s Little Man Syndrome with houses instead of cars/trucks.

Now what does a dream house mean to me? Well, it means I made It! Lol. But, yeah, I told Melanie yesterday or the day before that our lives would be “okay” once we had the aforementioned house; once we could fill our gas tanks up instead of cringing at the twenty dollars we dump in every couple of days; and once we could fill our cabinets with mountains of food and still have money to spend on the things we want to do, the little frivolous pleasures in life as it were.

That’s my idea of what a dream house means. You can take from that what you think I’m saying and we can go from there.

Laters.

Ryan

3-30-14

Dream House Part 1.

Melanie and I have found the absolute most perfect house that has ever existed. We want it. Bad. We want it so bad we can feel the need boiling deep inside our stomachs. It’s an interesting feeling to fall so in love with a place, one that we’ve never even physically been inside the house. We’ve only seen the outside of it, and at great distance at that. But, recently, due to a lot of hard work and digging on the internet I found pictures of the inside. And, oh… my… god!!!

 

I like circles, don't you?
And, the lighting is fabulous. Lol.

Needs a little renovation, and the previous owner's
belongings need to be removed.

The Kitchen.
I pray to God there's not food in those cabinets...

The outside and a three car garage.
One for me.
One for Melanie.
And, one for our armored zombie smasher tank.

The front hall.
The circles on the door makes it feel a little bit like the shire.

The Grand stairs.

The front door from the outside.
It looks heavy.

I can't really tell what's supposed to be in this room.

Indoor Pool!!!
And, the water's still there.

Top of the staircase I believe.

Now, there are a couple of interesting things about the house. Certain rumors say there was a murder suicide while others say the owners up and left after their daughter hung herself from the top of the stairwell. And, of course there are others. All of them agree, however, that the house is haunted, which makes it even better for me and Melanie! Lol.

Though we might need to befriend a Catholic priest, ya know, just in case.

As for its location, that is something I cannot reveal at this time, mainly because this is a perfect zombie fortification location. So, when we buy it, we might tell you were it is, just because we like you enough to protect you from zombies.

Ryan

3-28-14

Spring

The topic for today’s discussion is spring. And, while I’m not sure if cupcake meant for the conversation to hover over the season, bed springs, or the leaf springs one might find in the back of a truck. I am, however, certain that this conversation will leave out my favorite type of spring, the slinky. Why am I sure of this? Because I believe if she had wanted me to talk about a slinky she would have said a slinky. So, instead we’ll talk about spring.

And, taking a dart and throwing it at a random topic (OW! Oops, sorry Erik) I’m going to go with the season. Spring is the time of year when the earth quite literally comes back to life. The fall and winter are the slow death of the earth. Think about it, everything is shutting down. The leaves are falling off the trees. The grass stops growing. Many mammals go south for warmer climes, and many others curl up in nice cozy caves and sleep through the winter.

Spring is a period of awakening. Hibernating animals wake up, things begin to grow and migrating animals move back in this direction (like ducks… oh god how I loathe ducks).

Spring also kind of refers to Daylight Savings Time. This is an America only thing (I think. Google would tell you for sure.) and spring refers to springing forward one hour (yay time travel) so that we would have more daylight in the evening hours then we would in the mornings. Mother Nature sort of does this herself as well.

The earth as it rotates around the sun also spins on its axis, and that cockeyed, meaning the earth is angled, and at any one point in the year the earth could be pointed towards or away from the sun. As things are rolling around to spring in the northern hemisphere (our hemisphere) is pointing towards the sun. This means that more of the northern hemisphere is lit up and lit up longer than it is during the winter. This makes summers at the North Pole extremely interesting, seeing as the sun never sets.

In the context of something I understand a little better than science, spring exists in Dungeons and Dragons just as it does on earth. I don’t know why it wouldn’t, unless the DM has you playing on a planet that greatly resembles Hoth. And, even Hoth would have a period of spring like weather. It’s probably more like spring in Antarctica than it is around the center of the earth.

And, yes, there are rules as to how things apply to the world as there are with weather. Take a muddy road for instance. It’s just rained for a day and a half, everything is soaked, and the streets (which are little more than packed dirt) are muddy. People have trouble walking and running in it, thus reducing travel speed, and it sucks down and holds tight to wagon wheels, increasing travel time. And, remember the runner I mentioned, he’s going to have to make balance checks every ten to twenty feet to see if he slides in the muck. If he fails that check he has to make a reflex save to avoid falling, and depending on how the save goes he might have to roll for damage as well.

Then there are allergies. I still haven’t looked to see if there are rules for allergies or not. Meh.

And, yes, all of that does sound extremely tedious, and I’m not the sort of dungeon master who’s going to demand those checks whenever a PC moves ten feet. Nope, the only time that would matter is during a combat encounter, or some other strenuous event where the rolling of the dice is important.

Anywho, that’s all from me for the day.

Beware the Dire Squirrel.

Ryan

3-22-14

Friends

This is an unusual topic, considering the fact that I am a supernerd, and therefore have no friends. Instead, we’ll talk about the greatest sitcom of all time. Nah, I’m kidding. I have a truck load of friends, and I love all of them. My best friend of the last 18 years is my roommate and that’s pretty badass. And, I play Dungeons and Dragons/Pathfinder (I don’t really see much difference between the two) with another great group of friends. I consider all of them my best friends too (with certain exceptions because I’m kind of a dick), and being able to sit down with them once a week is fantastic.

Then there’s Cupcake. If I had to say anything at all, I’d say she’s my very best friend. The one I love above all others, the one I would give my life for if it came down to it, she’s also the one I sleep with at night, so it’s best not to upset her.

Me and Cupcake at her mom and dad's house.

But, on another note, I’ve not always had a wide array of friends, and I’ve not always been the obnoxious asshole I am now who gets bored and likes to torment his friends.

Yeah, growing up it was hard to make friends as I was always the outcast. The one bullies picked on in grade school, and everybody else avoided me because they didn’t want the same sort of treatment.

Me and Erik in a Bitstrips comic. And, I just realized I don't have a picture of me and Erik.

I found Erik (my roommate) in the fifth grade. We got stuck in afterschool detention a number of times. Not because either of us were delinquents. I was always behind on class work, and he moved to West Virginia about halfway through the year and we were both in detention catching up on class work, and we started talking. We found we liked the same things, Power Rangers, Transformers, and other things I’ve probably forgotten about at this point in my life.

Our friendship was always solid. We practically lived at one another’s houses until the time we got out of high school. We were always making up stories, and playing them out with various action figures. I even remember the two of us using lighters and matches to disfigure one or two of the figures. We made it look like he’s suffered some serious battle damage.

I’m smiling now, as I think about this, maybe even tearing up a little. I wonder from time to time what happened to those kids. When did we stop being kids and start being adults? When did this wall of responsibility come crashing down around us?

It’s like I said in that excerpt the other day. Things change. It’s the way of things.

And, there’s a lot of irony there too. How much time did we spend as children wishing we were grown up? And, how much would an adult give up being able to go back to being a child? I would give up almost everything. Everything I own, everything I’ve done, except for being with Melanie. I would take a tight hold on her, and bring her back to my childhood, because, even as a child she would fill the empty spot in my heart.

I wasn’t whole until I met Mel. And, I’m still missing a few things (sanity is one of them, but I’m a-ok without that) but with her I am complete. I guess that’s what a wife, or a significant other in general, is meant to be. The puzzle piece that completes you makes you whole. That’s why she’s the best of my friends. One of the two I will hold close and never let go.

Now, I’m trying to think of a way to incorporate this concept into the game, but it’s already there. Without friends, without my Damn Dirty Dungeon Crawlers, there would be no game. So, yeah, I love all of them too.

That doesn’t mean I won’t summon Cthulhu on their asses if they piss me off. Just saying. Lol.

Ryan

3-20-14

Allergies

It’s such a wonderful thing that 99% of the Earth’s population has them; that’s right boys and girls, allergies. Who knows why some people are allergic to penicillin? Or is there a reason as to why people are allergic to certain foods or fauna? There probably is, and it is probably just a Google search away. But, I’m having one of those lazy days where I feel like I shouldn’t do anything, but since it’s not F*** it Friday there’s no excuse for me not to do these things.

So, why won’t I do a Google search? The reason is I don’t care enough about the answer to pursue it. Put forth the effort to find it. However you want to say it. So, instead of worrying about the answer to the question, I’m just going to talk about how allergies affect me and mine.

Allergies hate our family, me and Cupcake, and they hate us in the way mosquitoes hate us. I’m like a walking all you can eat buffet when it comes to mosquitoes, and for allergies I’m allergic to pretty much every type of pollen. If the pollen count is high, my nose is running, my eyes are burning, and I’ll have sneezing spasms with up to 20 or more sneezes. Yes, it’s possible, and yes, it hurts like hell.

Now, Cupcake has a lot of allergies, but hers affect her in a different way. She has near constant sinus infections. Her lungs are always full of gunk and she’s sneezing and coughing and really has the whole I’m miserable sick sort of thing going on. I try to pamper her during these weeks long infections, but sometimes it gets really icky. (Love you Cupcake!) Anyway, filled with sinus problems or not, she’s my Cupcake and I love her.

I also like to make fun of her other major allergy. Cupcake is lactose intolerant. She can’t drink milk, eat cheese, drink anything with the word cream in it, and even milk chocolate bars give her problems. But, guess what… She eats these things anyway. Lol. I’m not sure if she just loves dairy products, or if she’s some kind of masochist.

Who knows?

How do allergies affect my game world; I would have to say I don’t know. I’ve never cared enough to think that much about it. It really seems to be one of those things you can just gloss over, unless you’ve got a character that has allergies. But, still, that’s more of a character trait then something to do with world building. I dunno.

I could incorporate magical allergies into the game. It would be like character xyz has an allergy to polymorph spells. Polymorph spells cast on this character are subject to a d% failure/success chart, and the effect on the character is subject to a randomized effect, plus 1d3 points of constitution damage or something like that.

Who knows?

There are probably rules for it somewhere, but I’m not going to go digging for them.

And, I’m going to call it there.

Later kids.

Ryan

3-11-14

The Undertaker

This is an odd one. Lol. It’s like with CM Punk, Cupcake gave me a wrestler to talk about and now I’ve got to figure out what to say. Lol. Honestly it should be easy though, as the Undertaker is one of the most recognizable wrestlers in the professional wrestling industry. At least he used to be. Now, he’s kind of dwindled down to doing one match a year. The match at Wrestlemania, the match he always wins because the Undertaker has never lost a match at Wrestlemania. In fact, that streak has become material for whoever it is he’s going up against to use in their promos.

Taker’s opponent this year is Brock Lesnar, a beast of a man who has more in common with a rock than a human being. He’s using this whole “conqueror” thing as his take on the match with the Undertaker. Lesnar’s manager, Paul Heyman, comes out to the ring at least twice an episode to announce that Lesnar is going to conquer the streak.

The match will be pretty good. The Undertaker’s matches are always damn good. But, one must look at it like this. The Undertaker is probably the oldest wrestler climbing into the ring at Wrestlemania (he’s 48 and that’s damn old for a professional wrestler) and he’s going up against the human equivalent of a semi.

I might actually have to sit down and work up stats for these two wrestlers just to work out a good probability of who will win. I know it’s going to be the Undertaker. Let’s face it, if Lesnar wins Taker fans will riot in the streets. But, just knowing the statistics of the match will be entertaining.

Something else interesting to note, it was CM Punk who went up against the Undertaker this last Wrestlemania. That was a fantastic f***ing fight.

And, now for requisite information.

Making the Undertaker work as a Dungeons and Dragons character wouldn’t be too hard. I’m not sure how the template is worked in Pathfinder, but the Undertaker could fall under two undead templates. First, and most likely, he could be a death knight (a grave knight or demonic knight in Pathfinder). I say this is the more likely of the two as the death knight/grave knight is a martial combat template. While the other option would be a lich; I could see some justification for this template through the way the character is portrayed (particularly when they made a big fuss about the Undertaker’s urn), but I’d still lean towards a Death Knight. As for a race…I think I might put him as a half giant or an ogre, something big and powerful, but still carrying plenty of speed (to some extent intelligence, though that would be a bit of a stretch when it comes to the ogre).

And, one more fun little thing.

I am absolutely positive that when the Undertaker is beaten at Wrestlemania it will be revealed that he is a time lord. His regeneration cycle will kick in, and upon completion of that Undertaker 2.0 will finish mopping the floor with whoever his opponent is.

So, now that all that has been said (including the Doctor Who reference) it’s time for me to go and get in bed.

G’nite all.

Ryan

3-10-14

PS: When I was talking about the Undertaker with my wife, earlier today, I told her he was going to be a fighter/barbarian death/grave knight of level 13 or higher. I also implied that they might have to face off with him. Lol.

I dunno.

Cupcake has had a hell of a rough week, and I’ve tried to stand by her as best I can. She lost her uncle on Monday, his wake was today, and his funeral is tomorrow, and it’s going to be rough. I know if I was in her shoes I would have broken down. But, she is so damn strong. So damn strong. I’m pretty sure one of my posts on here even goes to pointing out that she’s my hero, my favorite superhero, and the best damn thing that’s ever happened to me. So tonight, when she took a little longer than usual to answer my topic question, I asked if she wanted me to come up with one. She said yes. And, now, I have no idea what I’m going to talk about. Lol.

I could talk more about cupcake, but like I said, she’s the strong one in the relationship, and if I even tried to talk about the hurt she’s had to go through this week then I wouldn’t be able to type because of the tears. So, we’ll talk about something else.

A friend of mine, one of my Dungeon Crawlers, posted this chart on my facebook wall today. Now, I normally don’t pay attention to any of that. I might glance and see what it is, then forget it, but this one stuck out to me. Lol. I don’t know why. Anyway, my steampunk name turned out to be Lord Montague Septimus Wraithbottom, and looking at it now, I realized I did it wrong, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Lord Montague Septimus Wraithbottom, I love that name lol. I might take bottom out, but I’m definitely going to be using it somewhere. I’ve been looking for a name to attach to the lich I’ve got hanging around in Netheretia. I even got my Dungeon Crawlers to get their steampunk names (some of them have complied anyway, lol), and I plan on putting those to use as well. I’ll just have to see where things go, and what NPCs need names and how important they’re going to be when it comes to the story.

I dunno.

Another entertaining thing I thought about doing would be making Dungeons and Dragons version of Marvel and DC superheroes. The one that stands out the most for me right now, is Iron Man, probably because I see him as the easiest to translate. He would be the Iron Mage, a battle mage with levels in fighter, wizard, and technomancy wearing awesome ass full plate armor that might as well be a golem. I could take it even further though, and say he’s a clocknomancer. That’s not much different than a technomacer really, just my term for a tinker in my particular campaign setting. It’s a class that still needs to be built, but I believe it’s going to be a prestige class that would require the successful construction of a golem (an iron golem in particular) and the successful summoning of one of the Inevitables.

As you can see from the picture above, the Inevitables are a race of clockwork outsiders. So, to be a clocknomancer it would make sense for you to be study from the master craftsmanship of a race that is totally made up of what you want to construct. Or something like that.

I dunno.

I guess I’m just going to call it quits for the night. There’s going to be a lot to do tomorrow, and none of it’s going to be fun. So, keep me and cupcake in your thoughts and prayers. We really need some good juju sent our way.

Ryan

3-6-14

Tieflings

Tieflings is the topic my lovely and beautiful wife has given me today, and I find this kind of entertaining because a tiefling is the race she picked in my most recent game. Err… it’s the race she’s playing right now. And, she does very well, so far as I’m concerned, with how she goes about playing the character.

Tieflings are considered one of the planetouched races, this means that at some point in their ancestry there was a marriage of a mortal and an outsider (outsider being the type given to creatures and species that don’t originate on the material plane). Marriage simply meaning there was sex (or rape) that fostered the birth of a half child. By half child I mean either a half-celestial child, where an angel or there about is one of the parents, or it is a half-fiend, typically fathered by demons or devils of one sort or another. Tieflings are descended from the latter. They are the end result of centuries of half demons breeding with mortals, and it dips down to such a point as the Tiefling is the very last drop of fel-powered blood in the line of descent. So much so, that I believe (and I think there are rules for it, but I’m not sure) when Tieflings mate what race the offspring is turns into a craps shoot. Meaning, if two Tieflings were to have a child the result would be another Tiefling. If a male of XYZ race was to mate with a female Tiefling you would have a fifty percent chance of having a Tiefling or having a pure born member of XYZ race. If a male Tiefling were to mate with a female member of XYZ race things would be even more skewed. In that situation there would be a seventy-five percent chance of having a tiefling. And, the statistics could continue with generation X’s probability of producing a Tiefling just because they carry those genes. I guess it’s kind of like being a ginger.

To sum all that up in one easy sentence: It’s a lot like playing the lottery.

Now how we ran off on that completely random tangent is not something I’m entirely sure of. I guess something about… nope, not going that direction again. Basically, Tieflings are one of those races that is always different. There’s always something about them that just doesn’t sit right with you. Maybe their eyes are red, or maybe they have horns, or a tail, or the potential for a completely wild and fragmented personality with each shard showing more and more of that particular Tiefling’s ancestry. I would say it is something along those lines.

Anyway, how to incorporate Tieflings into my game is a really dumb question. Lol. Three of my PCs are tieflings, and each of them have wildly different takes on what it means to be a tiefling, and I like it like that.

And, I guess that’s it for me today. Lol.

Now, it’s time to write another blog post, since this one was so behind on getting finished. YAY!

Ryan

3-4-14/3-5-14