The Shovel of Truth

The Shovel of Truth (pictured above) is a +5 golden holy shovel of lie smiting and depression bane. Its use is designed solely to clear away all the nasty crap one's mind comes up with at the worst of times. Like when you think that nobody cares about the things you do.

It's not true.

It never has been, and it never will be. Somebody will always care about the things you are doing. And, sometimes you won't even realize those people are there.

I've been feeling that way recently. I've been kind of in the dumps about a lot of things, and one of those things happened to be my blogging and the results I didn't think I was getting.

Well, I had a real long drawn out chat with a friend of mine and she was telling me about how depression is just one great big lie. It's your mind working against you, telling you things, hateful things that aren't true. It's the voice that whispers about how you messed up that job interview. It's the voice that tells you you're worthless, that everything you've done up to this point has been meaningless.

After a while, those lies get heavy, and I told my friend about how I am. I told her that all I wanted to do was collapse beneath them, let them run me over, just so I could get a little rest. I told her I wanted to give in, and give up. Then I told her what giving up meant to me (and that's not something I'll repeat here), and she told me that I didn't strike her as the type of person who just gave up.

I believe that.

There have been so many points, so many places in my life where I've just wanted to give up. I've wanted to lay in bed and wallow in my grief and self-pity. I've believed the things depression's been telling me. But, I didn't give up.

I kept moving. And, it hasn't always been my own will that's got me going. More than once it's been my wonderful Cupcake pulling me up out of the muck and getting me to start moving again. And, I thank her for that. She like's to say she's a flashlight for me, to help me find my way in the dark. I like to think of her more as a lighthouse, one that shines as bright as any star, and let's me see the world for miles and miles.

And, now I have a shovel to help that lighthouse. Lol. Poor analogy, but I think you get what I mean. I now have a weapon to use to beat that depression back. I have the truth to back me up.

The lie: Nobody cares about my blog/writing.

The truth:

Blogger- On average I get between 20 and 30 hits a day, with one official follower.

Fanfiction.net- One of my stories has 59 favorites, 107 alerts, is featured in 2 communities, and is just shy of 50,000 views.

Hubpages- I have 10 followers, and I haven't posted a Hub in the last three months or so.

People care. The proof is there, and I just need to be patient to get the numbers I want.

So, I'm going to take my Shovel o' Truth, and I'm going to go beat some depression/lie zombies to death. Later.

Ryan
4-23-14

My Cupcake

My topic for today was supposed to be skinwalkers, and while I have that post half written I think I’ll wait and post it tomorrow. I’ve got something else to talk about today. Something that I feel is quite inspirational.

Let me see if I can set the stage for it, so you can feel the same way about it.

I think off and on (a dangerous prospect) about what I’ve accomplished in my life and all the potential I feel has been wasted. When I think about these things I get quite morose, and one of the number one subject I think about is school.

I messed up in college. I really did. I know most of the blame for that falls at the feet of a diseased I will mention no further, but I still feel the fault is mine. I could have fought back and worked towards the potential I thought I had. Well, the potential I know I had. Don’t get me wrong, I accomplished a lot. I graduated, and I have a bachelor’s degree at my house waiting to be framed and put on the wall in my office. But, it wasn’t bachelor’s degree I wanted. It wasn’t any of the degrees I wanted.

And, that’s what I was thinking about last night. I was missing being in school, knowing I could do better, especially now with all the steps forward I’ve taken. I was thinking about the degree programs I could apply myself to now with the same discipline and energy I put towards keeping up with my daily goals. I thought of several.

I want an associate’s degree in forensic psychology and addiction counseling because of my interest in the field of psychology.

I want an associate’s degree in software and web design because my sister inspired me to go for that field. And, I made a promise to a friend that I would design a program that made a DM’s life a just a little easier. He’s gone now, but I’m going to keep that promise.

I want to finish all the bachelor’s programs I started. The history and English focuses in literature and writing. And, I want to get a bachelor’s in psychology for the same reason I want the associates.

There are even two master’s programs I want to go through. I want an MFA in creative writing, focusing in particular on writing novels. And, I want a master’s psychology, again, that’s because of the same reason I want the associate’s and the bachelor’s.

Those wants and desires right there require one thing above even the determination I could put into those programs. They require money, a literal mountain of money.

And, that kind of brings us around to the point I wanted to say about my cupcake. She came into my writing room and stood beside me and asked why I was down. I told her about the school thing and about how much it was cost, and she looked at me and said two words: Then Write.

Then write.

Like the answer was as plain as the nose on her face, so much was said in those two words; so many feelings that I don’t even know how to describe them, but she knew the answer as she always does. I doubted myself, and my ability to make a career out of writing. But, she doesn’t doubt it. And, I don’t think she ever has.

Then write.

Words really can the world, and now that mine’s been changed, I need to get to work.

Thank you Cupcake, for everything you’ve done and everything you will ever do for me. Thank you for being able to see that little flickering flame inside of me, and knowing exactly how to feed it. I will write, and I will make you proud of me, and that one thing is what will make me happiest in this world. I love you.

Ryan

4-3-14

Mutants

So, I’ve been on the naughty list for the last couple of days. Yes, I’ve been writing and posting my blog posts, but I haven’t been doing it the way I should be. Take today’s post for example. Cupcake gave me the topic, mutants, yesterday after I posted my discussion on April Fool’s Day. But, I’m just now (at 8:13 pm) sitting down to write today’s post. This means I’m going to be behind on getting my stats posted and that will mean a wide number of other things which I really don’t want to talk about here. It’s all just prattle.

Anyway, the topic is mutants, and I suppose I should be able to come up with a fairly decent post about mutants, mainly because I feel like one half of the time. Lol.

Cupcake was watching an episode of Face Off (SyFy reality tv show about practical effects make up and design) and the topic of the contest for that episode was mutants. Each of the contestants designed their own mutants and so on and so forth, the rest doesn’t matter so far as I’m concerned. What does is the concept, the question the challenge raises: What is a mutant and what does that mean to you?

It’s kind of a double question, but a good one none the less.

There are a couple of things that come to mind when I hear the word mutant. Most of those are pop culture references, and I think maybe one of them comes from scientific fact. That’s the one I want to talk about first.

As far as I can tell (and this is without me checking Google) a mutation is often an irregularity or abnormality n the genetic sequence. This irregularity often causes problems with the individual born with that mutation. An example of this could be a deer born with five legs, or it may have three eyes. And, there are other more common mutations. People are born blind, or they’re born with Down syndrome or something similar. This is and isn’t a mutation, it’s more like a birth defect caused by an irregularity in the genetic sequence… which is exactly what I just said to define a mutation…

Herm.

Mutations are also highly useful when it comes to evolution. First, there were a lot of brown bears, because there were a lot of temperate forests between ice ages. But, when the world got cold again, the ice caps spread and a lot more of the earth became white. Brown bears had trouble with getting food because their prey could see them miles away and get the hell out. Then there was a mutation. A bear was born with white fur (technically a polar bear’s fur is clear because it lacks any sort of pigment) and was better suited to sneaking up on its prey. This made the bears with white fur continue to survive and breed and be born, and the brown bears in the polar area slowly died out. (And, yes, I totally just stole that example from Cosmos.)

Now, the other references I can think of are right up Face Off’s alley. It’s the X-men from Marvel Comics. And, the mutant bug movies of the 1950’s. And, I’ll leave you with what I think is the most famous pop culture mutant of all time:

Ryan

4-2-14

April Fool’s Day

I thought about writing a post entitled Cupcake’s Pregnant, but I ditched the idea. The joke became a little to real for me, digging down into that place where all our fears lie in wait.

What fears are those?

They’re something I’d rather not talk about. Today has been too glorious a day for dark feelings and depression. The sun is out riding high in the sky and the temps have swarmed up to 80 degrees, at least that’s where it was when I got out of my car. The skies were blue, and there wasn’t a cloud in sight. And, if this is Mother Nature’s way of saying April Fools and dumping a foot of snow on us tomorrow, I’m going to find a way to split the earth in two.

Going to have to do some research there, find Tesla’s plans for his death ray, and adapt it into a railgun-esq contraption… And, there goes that train of thought.

Anyway, where did April Fool’s Day come from?

I bet Google knows.

Google pointed me to Wikipedia and Wikipedia confused me. My attention span has been rather short today, and I’ve only been reading like every third word or so. Plus, I’ve got a headache starting, and my gums are hurting again.

God, there’s really nothing about this topic that’s catching my interest. This is making it very difficult for me to talk about it.

Nothing like Booze, Drugs, and Sex to celebrate the good times.

I guess I could relate it to Dungeons and Dragons in some way shape or form. I could write an adventure based on the holiday, and use the festivals Hilaria, a Roman festival, and the Feast of Fools, a Medieval festival. The adventure hooks could be simple. A group of young boys play a prank on a wealthy merchant by setting an animal of some sort loose in the merchant’s shop. The merchant takes things farther and intends to have the boys killed. It would be up to the PCs to set things to right by stopping the assassins, bringing the boys to the merchant to apologize and get them to help repair what was damaged by their wild animal. Or the merchant could contract the PCs to bring him the boys, and when they arrive have the merchant’s men murder the boys. The merchant would look at his handy work and walk away from the PCs, his last words to them being “Enjoy the Feast of Fools.”

A hundred other scenarios come to mind as well, but I’ll keep those to myself.

And, this makes me think of the ultimate April Fool’s Day prank to have ever existed. Though, it occurs during Carnival, a wild celebration taking place before the beginning of Lent. The victim of the joke if Fortunato, whose walled into an alcove in a crypt beneath Montresor’s home. The Cask of Amontillado should have been set on April Fool’s day. The Amontillado is the joke, the bait that pulls the victim in. And, before the last brick is set in place Montresor should look in and say “April Fools.”

Though the phrase In Pace Requiescat (Rest in peace) is sort of a fitting ending.\

In Pace Requiescat my ass!

 Bull shit! It should be “April Fools.” I’m going to rewrite The Cask of Amontillado, and make it happen exactly the way it should. Yes, sir!

Ryan

4-1-14

Dream House part 2

Okay, so this last week has sucked pretty hard core, and yeah, I could give a hundred reasons as to why it sucked, and I would probably spend most of my time bitching about my mouth. I’m not upset at the dentist, which would be stupid as he’s not the one that caused the problems in the first place. That responsibility falls squarely on my head and the poor hygiene decisions I’ve made in the past. I’m getting better now and getting the work on my teeth done is a part of that. But, GD it hurts.

And, that enough whining from me.

What I wanted to talk about right now is one of the things that made this a good week amidst all the hell: Our dream house.

My post yesterday was about this absolutely beautiful house, and it included a wide array of pictures depicting this house. While I find the house is a fascinating topic, I don’t think there’s really much more to say about all of it until I’ve been inside it. What I do find fascinating is the concept of the Dream House.

What is a dream house?

A simple answer: A dream house is the ideal house for a person/couple who can see themselves living in that one place, contentedly, for the rest of their lives.

The difficult answer: I don’t know.

The Dream House is a symbol of status and stature. It’s a way of saying “Look Mom and Dad! Look! I made it! I’m living the American Dream!”

It also seems as though there’s a great deal more psychology. I mean you could easily look at the size of the house and judge just how successful a person has been in their chosen field. Look at doctors and lawyers for instance. They don’t live in palatial homes, but I can guarantee they typically have houses that have ten plus rooms. Some of their houses even come with guest houses instead of just guest rooms.

And, I lost where I was going with this.

Either way, a person’s house is like a castle. Its size represents the strength and success of the one who built it. It’s positioning (especially in a mountainous area like WV) could be another indication of how a person sees themselves. If they’re building a big house on the crest of a mountain it’s because they want to feel powerful. They want to be above other people, and they want to be looked up at.

This even works in the opposite direction. Peole who build huge castles with thick walls are insecure and vulnerable. They don’t feel like they’re able to protect themselves or their family, so they build this big house to look strong and impressive. They set their houses up high on the mountain because they feel looked down upon, and weak. It’s Little Man Syndrome with houses instead of cars/trucks.

Now what does a dream house mean to me? Well, it means I made It! Lol. But, yeah, I told Melanie yesterday or the day before that our lives would be “okay” once we had the aforementioned house; once we could fill our gas tanks up instead of cringing at the twenty dollars we dump in every couple of days; and once we could fill our cabinets with mountains of food and still have money to spend on the things we want to do, the little frivolous pleasures in life as it were.

That’s my idea of what a dream house means. You can take from that what you think I’m saying and we can go from there.

Laters.

Ryan

3-30-14

Dream House Part 1.

Melanie and I have found the absolute most perfect house that has ever existed. We want it. Bad. We want it so bad we can feel the need boiling deep inside our stomachs. It’s an interesting feeling to fall so in love with a place, one that we’ve never even physically been inside the house. We’ve only seen the outside of it, and at great distance at that. But, recently, due to a lot of hard work and digging on the internet I found pictures of the inside. And, oh… my… god!!!

 

I like circles, don't you?
And, the lighting is fabulous. Lol.

Needs a little renovation, and the previous owner's
belongings need to be removed.

The Kitchen.
I pray to God there's not food in those cabinets...

The outside and a three car garage.
One for me.
One for Melanie.
And, one for our armored zombie smasher tank.

The front hall.
The circles on the door makes it feel a little bit like the shire.

The Grand stairs.

The front door from the outside.
It looks heavy.

I can't really tell what's supposed to be in this room.

Indoor Pool!!!
And, the water's still there.

Top of the staircase I believe.

Now, there are a couple of interesting things about the house. Certain rumors say there was a murder suicide while others say the owners up and left after their daughter hung herself from the top of the stairwell. And, of course there are others. All of them agree, however, that the house is haunted, which makes it even better for me and Melanie! Lol.

Though we might need to befriend a Catholic priest, ya know, just in case.

As for its location, that is something I cannot reveal at this time, mainly because this is a perfect zombie fortification location. So, when we buy it, we might tell you were it is, just because we like you enough to protect you from zombies.

Ryan

3-28-14

Spring

The topic for today’s discussion is spring. And, while I’m not sure if cupcake meant for the conversation to hover over the season, bed springs, or the leaf springs one might find in the back of a truck. I am, however, certain that this conversation will leave out my favorite type of spring, the slinky. Why am I sure of this? Because I believe if she had wanted me to talk about a slinky she would have said a slinky. So, instead we’ll talk about spring.

And, taking a dart and throwing it at a random topic (OW! Oops, sorry Erik) I’m going to go with the season. Spring is the time of year when the earth quite literally comes back to life. The fall and winter are the slow death of the earth. Think about it, everything is shutting down. The leaves are falling off the trees. The grass stops growing. Many mammals go south for warmer climes, and many others curl up in nice cozy caves and sleep through the winter.

Spring is a period of awakening. Hibernating animals wake up, things begin to grow and migrating animals move back in this direction (like ducks… oh god how I loathe ducks).

Spring also kind of refers to Daylight Savings Time. This is an America only thing (I think. Google would tell you for sure.) and spring refers to springing forward one hour (yay time travel) so that we would have more daylight in the evening hours then we would in the mornings. Mother Nature sort of does this herself as well.

The earth as it rotates around the sun also spins on its axis, and that cockeyed, meaning the earth is angled, and at any one point in the year the earth could be pointed towards or away from the sun. As things are rolling around to spring in the northern hemisphere (our hemisphere) is pointing towards the sun. This means that more of the northern hemisphere is lit up and lit up longer than it is during the winter. This makes summers at the North Pole extremely interesting, seeing as the sun never sets.

In the context of something I understand a little better than science, spring exists in Dungeons and Dragons just as it does on earth. I don’t know why it wouldn’t, unless the DM has you playing on a planet that greatly resembles Hoth. And, even Hoth would have a period of spring like weather. It’s probably more like spring in Antarctica than it is around the center of the earth.

And, yes, there are rules as to how things apply to the world as there are with weather. Take a muddy road for instance. It’s just rained for a day and a half, everything is soaked, and the streets (which are little more than packed dirt) are muddy. People have trouble walking and running in it, thus reducing travel speed, and it sucks down and holds tight to wagon wheels, increasing travel time. And, remember the runner I mentioned, he’s going to have to make balance checks every ten to twenty feet to see if he slides in the muck. If he fails that check he has to make a reflex save to avoid falling, and depending on how the save goes he might have to roll for damage as well.

Then there are allergies. I still haven’t looked to see if there are rules for allergies or not. Meh.

And, yes, all of that does sound extremely tedious, and I’m not the sort of dungeon master who’s going to demand those checks whenever a PC moves ten feet. Nope, the only time that would matter is during a combat encounter, or some other strenuous event where the rolling of the dice is important.

Anywho, that’s all from me for the day.

Beware the Dire Squirrel.

Ryan

3-22-14

Friends

This is an unusual topic, considering the fact that I am a supernerd, and therefore have no friends. Instead, we’ll talk about the greatest sitcom of all time. Nah, I’m kidding. I have a truck load of friends, and I love all of them. My best friend of the last 18 years is my roommate and that’s pretty badass. And, I play Dungeons and Dragons/Pathfinder (I don’t really see much difference between the two) with another great group of friends. I consider all of them my best friends too (with certain exceptions because I’m kind of a dick), and being able to sit down with them once a week is fantastic.

Then there’s Cupcake. If I had to say anything at all, I’d say she’s my very best friend. The one I love above all others, the one I would give my life for if it came down to it, she’s also the one I sleep with at night, so it’s best not to upset her.

Me and Cupcake at her mom and dad's house.

But, on another note, I’ve not always had a wide array of friends, and I’ve not always been the obnoxious asshole I am now who gets bored and likes to torment his friends.

Yeah, growing up it was hard to make friends as I was always the outcast. The one bullies picked on in grade school, and everybody else avoided me because they didn’t want the same sort of treatment.

Me and Erik in a Bitstrips comic. And, I just realized I don't have a picture of me and Erik.

I found Erik (my roommate) in the fifth grade. We got stuck in afterschool detention a number of times. Not because either of us were delinquents. I was always behind on class work, and he moved to West Virginia about halfway through the year and we were both in detention catching up on class work, and we started talking. We found we liked the same things, Power Rangers, Transformers, and other things I’ve probably forgotten about at this point in my life.

Our friendship was always solid. We practically lived at one another’s houses until the time we got out of high school. We were always making up stories, and playing them out with various action figures. I even remember the two of us using lighters and matches to disfigure one or two of the figures. We made it look like he’s suffered some serious battle damage.

I’m smiling now, as I think about this, maybe even tearing up a little. I wonder from time to time what happened to those kids. When did we stop being kids and start being adults? When did this wall of responsibility come crashing down around us?

It’s like I said in that excerpt the other day. Things change. It’s the way of things.

And, there’s a lot of irony there too. How much time did we spend as children wishing we were grown up? And, how much would an adult give up being able to go back to being a child? I would give up almost everything. Everything I own, everything I’ve done, except for being with Melanie. I would take a tight hold on her, and bring her back to my childhood, because, even as a child she would fill the empty spot in my heart.

I wasn’t whole until I met Mel. And, I’m still missing a few things (sanity is one of them, but I’m a-ok without that) but with her I am complete. I guess that’s what a wife, or a significant other in general, is meant to be. The puzzle piece that completes you makes you whole. That’s why she’s the best of my friends. One of the two I will hold close and never let go.

Now, I’m trying to think of a way to incorporate this concept into the game, but it’s already there. Without friends, without my Damn Dirty Dungeon Crawlers, there would be no game. So, yeah, I love all of them too.

That doesn’t mean I won’t summon Cthulhu on their asses if they piss me off. Just saying. Lol.

Ryan

3-20-14

Ragnarok

Today is the third or fourth apocalyptic prediction that I’ve lived through. And, that’s just been in recent years. The world didn’t self destruct when it rolled around from 1999 to 2000. The rapture didn’t happen in 2011. The Mayan prophecy of the world ending in 2012 was bunk, and now it looks like the Norse prediction has been busted too.

Ragnarok is the Norse prediction of the end of the world; a great battle raging on both heaven and earth with hell taking home ht losers. Ragnarok has also been referred to as the Twilight of the Gods, and the Fate of the Gods, and yes I got that from Wikipedia. It’s shocking! I actually did a little bit of research.

Unfortunately, I have an extremely short attention span, and thus didn’t make it very far into the article at all.

Instead, I decided it would be more fun if I just winged it…

That’s not working out to well, though, as my head has decided it’s full of mush.

The first time I came across the word, Ragnarok was in Final Fantasy VIII. The Ragnarok was the games airship/spaceship/plane-thingy. It followed along the lines of pretty much any anime style space ship. The lines were sleek and sexy, everything was red, and it looked fit to fly into space dock and blast the living hell out of every other ship in the fleet. I can even see it happening in my head, but… getting that onto paper would take much longer and a lot more paper than I planned on using for the post.

I’ll try to find a video of it, but I make no promises.

I know what scene I’m thinking of, but I can’t remember what anime it came from… Probably Gundam Wing…

Beyond that…

Shit… I thought this would be more fun to write about.

I mean, hell, Ragnarok is the killing joke, Loki’s revenge against Odin for eons of imprisonment. Loki’s own son, Fenrir (a giant wolf), is directly responsible for Odin’s death. The big puppy catches Odin from behind and bares him to the ground. Then the puppy proceeds to rip Odin’s spine out starting at the base of the neck.

I’m mildly disturbed by my next thought, as I wondered just how much pain would Odin experience before he died. Would it be like a human getting their spine split at the third vertebra (a nearly instant death), or would he lay there in agony until all the ichor (the blood of the gods; that which provides them with eternal life) drains out of him? And, that’s my morbid thought for the day.

And, now we come to the point my wife is dreading the most… How does Ragnarok relate to the game world? It only vaguely relates to the game world, namely because it’s part of Norse Mythology, and as such is one of the inspirations I pulled from. I even use bits of that mythology (modified of course) directly in the game. Odin is one example, he is a god of battle and he champions the cause of the barbarian, the berserker, and in a strange way he reaches out to shamans. I would say that’s mainly because of his never ending quest for wisdom.

But, yes, there’s that vague connection between Ragnarok and my game world. And, this probably takes a load off my wife’s mind. Lol.

Ryan

2-22-14

PS: That's not the scene I was thinking about, but it's a close approximation. The snippet is from the anime Macross Frontier. I'm not really familiar with it, but I like Macross Plus and Robotech (an Americanized version of Macross Plus). Anywho, enjoy your post Ragnarok Sunday. Say a prayer to Odin calling him a lying son of a b****. Lol.

Frogs

I do believe this has become a sort of game between us. Cupcake gives me off the wall topics, and I take them and find some way to fit them into the D&D game. I enjoy doing it too, because it creates a constant wellspring of ideas for different types of adventures and different types of encounters in those adventures. Today’s topic might be a little bit harder to incorporate into the game, if I want to do more than mention it in passing.

Frogs, when Cupcake said that my response was “really…” and her reply was “yes, I dare you, lol”, to which I replied “to what? work them into the game? because I can do it. I can so do it :P”. She said, “Bullshit.” (If you can’t guess this was through Facebook chat. Yes, we’re separated by one wall that’s maybe six inches thick, and we talk on Facebook. We’ve even done it when we’re in the same room. Lol.) So, now I have been challenged, and I will respond to that challenge. I will work frogs into the game. You just wait and see.

And, now, after my break to get my stats posted on Facebook, my brain seems to have shut down. I can’t think of where I was going with this topic. Thought, I can pick up on a couple of different threads.

The first way to include frogs in the game would be to stat the critter, or find one on the internet where someone has already statted them. Then I would go and work the frog stats into a creature called a swarm. Although, I think it would be more apropos to call it a Plague of Frogs, given the biblical reference.

The other way to do it would be to create a creature that resembles and has all the characteristics of a frog, but is a wee bit larger, say a dire frog, taking the stats from the first inclusion, and then advancing them until the frog is the size of a small pony.

The third way I see, and the way that intrigues me the most, is to take the appearance of the frog, it’s jumping qualities and long whip like tongue, and making a demonic creature out of it. Felgrog, I believe I’ll call it, and this mother****** is going to be the size of a house. It’ll have the aquatic subtype along with its demonic heritage, and will have a tentacle (representing its tongue) as a primary attack. It will also have improved grab, constrict, and swallow whole as special attacks. I would say it also has a slam and crush attack. I’m not sure what it’s challenge rating should be.

I don’t know.

I’ll probably think of it later, along with actually putting numbers to the stats of the felgrog.

And, I have something else to say. On my second glance at the Monster Manual I realized the toad is an animal included in the back of the book. The stats for it, however, are underwhelming and anything I came up with would probably be better in the long run. It is nice to have a starting place though.

Anywho, if I’m feeling frisky later I might attempt to draw my felgrog and stat the beast up. If I do, I shall post the result here.

Later kids.

Ryan

2-19-14

Fairies

It’s that time of day again guys and gals. Time to write a blog post… Well, it’s past time to write this post. I was given the topic around three or four pm and now it’s fifteen till one in the morning.

So, now I’m supposed to come up with something to say about Fairies.

My wife looked at me earlier and asked me if I really used the blog topics to come up with ideas for the games. I just smiled at her. Out of frustration she gave me fairies, and I’m betting she’s thinking what could possibly go wrong with fairies introduced into the game, and well… she must really not be thinking about these things.

Why?

Because there are so many things that could go wrong with fairies.

http://a-muse-sing.deviantart.com/art/mischievous-fairy-178661902

First off, in Dungeons and Dragons (at least to my knowledge) you won’t come across a single creature described as a fairy. Rather you’ll come across the fey type. The fey cover many different types of creatures including nymphs, dryads, satyrs, pixies, sprites, grigs, nixies, mephitis, and the list could go on for quite some time. If it’s related to nature it’s probably a fey type creature. (Even elves, in mythology not D&D, are considered a type of fey.)

Now, what could go wrong with those?

Fey are often goodly aligned creatures which is kind of counter intuitive with the alignments of my current PC party. I have three chaotic evil PCs (like the Joker) a neutral evil PC (like the xenomorph from aliens) a true neutral PC (he reminds me of an Ent, quite a bit, though he has a much shorter temper) and a lawful neutral PC (imagine Jean Luc Picard as a dwarf). None of them, except maybe the true neutral orc, would get along with the good/chaotically aligned fey.

Not sure where this one came from.

Then you have your evil fey.

Maleficent comes to mind. The evil fairy god mother from Disney’s Sleeping Beauty.

Ganondorf, a corrupted Gerudo, a desert dwelling type of fey in the Legend of Zelda series.

Damien, a pixie half-fiend of my own creation, formerly he was a character in a comic strip one of my players (Robbie, I’m sorry, but I don’t remember the name of the strip!) was drawing. He’s a high level wizard that has made an appearance in my games before, and he will probably make an appearance in this one as well.

Then we have Faetria… who I’m not going to talk about, because I just came up with her. I feel she’ll play an important part in the game to come. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Anywho, I can’t think of anything else to say right now, so I’ll just leave it at that.

Later kids.

Ryan

2-18-14

PS: I could be totally wrong about the Fey and fairy connection in Dungeons and Dragons. There could be fairies in the game and I just skipped right over them. If you know one way or the other, let me know in the comments below.

Lich

Or to speak in the plural, liches. Why? Because there’s never just one lich.

In Old English the word lich (also spelled lych) means corpse. There’s nothing supernatural about it, nothing past the typical superstitions about the dead at that point in time, but now Lich has taken on an entirely new meaning. A Lich, as a proper noun, means a mortal who has used evil magic to extend his life far past his life expectancy. The spells and rituals transform the lich from a living creature to a member of the undead.

Imagine, if you will, a zombie standing before you. It looks like any of the other shambling corpses, but it’s well dressed, and its clothes seem to be free of the gore acquired by the other monsters. You shoot it in the head, its brains blowing out the back of its skull in a great bloody spray, but the zombie doesn’t fall. Instead, it smiles, starts to laugh, and it whispers a few words. Lightning blasts forth from its fingertips, cutting through you like a knife. The shambling monsters turn towards you, towards the smell of cooked meat, and the last thing you hear is the lich’s cruel laugh rising high into the night sky.

http://looneydm.blogspot.com/2012/01/lich.html

So, yeah, there’s that fun bit. And, about the ‘shooting it in the head and it not dying’ thing, that’s simple to explain. You see, a Lich’s soul is no longer attached to its body. It just possesses whatever corpse is closest to the lich’s phylactery.

Phylactery, it’s a big word, but you know what I’m talking about. Even I you’ve never played a single session of D&D. I know you know what I’m talking about, and you’ll know it to with the very next sentence. A phylactery is an object, often magical, that the person becoming a lich attaches a portion of its soul too, so that when a lich’s host body is destroyed their full soul can return to it to recuperate.

Know what I’m talking about now?

It sounds like Voldemort’s Horcruxes right?

And, the One Ring, forged by Sauron who poured all of his malice and hatred into the ring to give it the power to extend the bearers life. Gollum lived well past the life expectancy of the river folk, and Bilbo lived more than a hundred and eleven years. That’s quite a long time for a hobbit who isn’t supposed to grow past sixty years of age.

You see, you knew what I was talking about, and if you don’t I have one more example for you.

This guy even has it in his name. He is the Lich King, the corpse king, lord of all that is undead and unholy, and leader of the Undead Scourge. He is a lich that started out as a shaman named Ner’zhul, but lichdom was forced on him by the demons of the Burning Legion. His soul was bound to three magical items: the runeblade Frostmourne, a full plate armor set known as the Plate of the Damned, and the Helm of Domination which converted Ner’zhul’s vast natural magical powers into telepathic magic, allowing his will to extend its reach to every undead in the world of Azeroth.

And, I could go on for hours about the Lich King, but that’s talking a bit too much about Blizzard’s game and not mine. So, how am I going to incorporate a lich into my game? It should be obvious. I’m going to create a lich to play antagonist to my player characters, and the funny thing is, I’ve already started to set this up.

In the city my PCs are currently adventuring under there is a place on the map called The Lich’s Palace. I just haven’t decided how this is going to work with the rest of the game.

And, as with CM Puck, the Lich is going to have to wait a little while before I think about his adventure

That’s all from me. Later kids.

Ryan

2-13-14

Vampires

If you’re new to the blog, there are a couple of things you should know. First, I don’t come up with my own topics, my wife, Cupcake/Melanie, gives me a topic and I write about it. Second, I kind of make a little game out of it where I try to find a way to work the topic into upcoming installments of my Dungeons and Dragons game. My wife plays in my game as one of the player characters… so, you’d think she’d think of fun fluffy topics like princesses and ponies, but no, she gave me vampires instead.

Vampires are a staple in paranormal fiction (not just horror anymore) and I have to admit they’re probably my second favorite fictional creature (the first being dragons), so I feel like I’m pretty up to speed on how the whole vampire thing works.

Vampires, first and foremost, are bad guys. In the folk tales that gave them life they were villains, and when Bram Stoker penned Dracula he turned the vampire into an archetypal villain. Simply put, the vampire (and Count Dracula in particular) have been copied over and over and over again in all forms of media. They’ve been in books (duh), movies, comic books, paintings, songs, they’ve crossed genres and have been in space and became the centerpiece of the paranormal romance fiction. But, they’ve never really lost that edge, that “I am the bad guy” feeling. Hell, even Stephanie Meyer tried to convey that feeling in the Twilight books. (I don’t have a lot of positive things to say about those books, but her treatment of vampires as villains—James, Aro, Jane—is one of those positive things.)

So, when it comes to working vampires into my Dungeons and Dragons game that’s not a problem at all. I can see my world filled with these monsters that stalk the night, and beyond that there have already been vampires in my game.

Well…

Not in this game in particular, but there was in the last game. Though, it was a half-vampire/dhampire (whatever you want to cal it), and the PCs never came across it. I put the monster (a rogue and assassin named Guildenstern) in the game for later on in the campaign. He ran the mortuary in New Windhaven  (the starting town for the last game) and was going to become a recurring antagonist when the PCs hit level ten or so.

I was going to have it that he was hired to attack the PCs. I don’t remember what it was I had him hired to do besides playing antagonist, but it’s really not important now.

Life happens, things change, and for reasons I won’t mention we’re not playing that campaign anymore. But, I will keep in mind. Maybe our current PCs will piss some powerful lord off, and they’ll have a monstrous half-vampire knocking on their door in the middle of the night.

Anywho, I’m checking out for the night. Later kids.

Ryan

2-12-14

Cosplay

My mind is shorting out, and it’s been doing this all day. I mean really, I should have had my blog post and my stats posted long ago. I know it’s only 8:30 pm (I know it will be morning by the time you read this) [it also seems to be three days later], but still. I have a schedule; I need to keep to it. Scheduling and organization are what sets us as human beings up above baser animals. Yeah, really no idea what I’m talking about. I’ve just been feeling blah today. I haven’t really wanted to do anything more strenuous than stare at a computer screen.

I think I’m going to start scheduling Friday as a lazy day. Everybody needs a day where they can just let go of everything. It’s like in a diet. You’ve got to have a f*** it day. If you don’t then your will power is going to erode and erode and erode until you break down. And, when that ship comes crashing down it’s so much harder to get it up and moving again. I know that from experience, not when it comes to dieting though I don’t like diets.

But, there’s way off the point. It’s almost gotten to the point where I circumnavigated the globe from what my topic for the day is going to be. Though, I guess willpower is in some way associated with this particular hobby.

Trying to move back towards the title, Cupcake gave me the topic of cosplay, and at the time I had no idea what I was going to write about it. (She gave me the topic three-ish hours ago.) And, now, I still have very little idea as to what I’m going to say.

I don’t actually know that much about cosplay. I know it’s a hobby (which is more and more becoming a profession for some) in which people make and model costumes for contests at conventions. Anime, games, minecraft, dungeons and dragons, whatever the topic of the convention is people wil come in costumes associated with that topic. And, sometimes you see some weird stuff.

I remember one meme where a KFC version of Cloud is facing off with a Ronald McDonald looking Sephioth. It was strange, but it made a killer picture. And, I’d say a hundred or more people got their picture taken with that pair. I would have. And, I just have to wonder if that was intentional. Really, what are the odds of it happening randomly? One in nine billion? One in nine trillion I don’t know, but I wish I had that idea.

Don't know what the origin of this pic is. If anybody knows, message me,
so I can put a proper attribution.

Other things I know about cosplay… it takes a lot of time and hard work to put your costume together, or about four hours using old garden hose, paper mache, and a blow drier.

My Cupcake did a cosplay over the summer at Tsubasacon, a small anime convention up in Huntington. She went as a Big Sister from Bioshock 2. She did really well with it, even if it was a halfway last minute thing. Lol.

My wifey and her little sister. I don't know who took the photo.

And, what’s neat, if she’d taken pictures of them putting it together she’d have won a thousand dollar grand prize for it being a handmade costume. I really wish they’d taken pictures of it was it was getting put together. I should have thought of it.

Meh.

I want a thousand dollars.

I want to coplay now. Lol.

I’ll go as Drizzt Do’Urden and be the most badass dark elf ever. Now… I just need to learn how to make leather armor.

Is not me. All credit goes to farmer-bootoshysa
check his stuff out on deviant art
farmer-bootoshysa

Anywho, that’s enough from me. Later kids.

Ryan

1-31-14

Cupcakes

I got another topic from Mel for today. I like it that way, personally. I find it rather entertaining. Not that I’m not coming up with my own topics, but rather not being able to prepare anything for the topic before I name it. Cupcake gives me the subject, and I get to writing. In a way it’s easier to write like that.

And, for today’s topic Mel might as well have asked me who my favorite superhero is.

There’s only one idea, one image that pops into my head when I hear the word cupcake. It’s not a picture of a little pastry with too much icing on top. No, it’s a picture of my beautiful wife.

I forget when I started calling her Cupcake and I forget why, but it’s stuck with me forever after. She’ll always be my Cupcake. As for answering the “who’s my favorite superhero” question, she’s the answer to that. Cupcake is my favorite superhero. No comic book character ever has held a candle to her might.

She’s my shoulder to cry on.

My flashlight in the dark.

She’s the strength that keeps me standing.

I can honestly say that I’m still drawing breath today because of her.

Something broke inside me, and she’s helping put the pieces back together, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to repay her for that. I can’t even begin to articulate what she means to me. It’s too much for words, for drawing, too much for any form of art to describe. The closest I could to it is her being my favorite superhero.

If I could (drawing is on my list of things to learn how to do) I would draw a picture of her. In it she’d be standing up on a building ledge, in a purple one piece… Okay, more along the lines of what Black Widow was wearing in The Avengers, but she’d have a little symbol over her heart. In it would be a cupcake, with purple frosting instead of pink, she doesn’t like the color pink, and it would have a little cherry on top of it. It would be a yellow background, a kind of pastel yellow, not the same kind of yellow Robin uses in his symbol. On the back of her jacket the symbol would be repeated, only a lot larger. And, it would have writing around it:

Cupcake came to town to kick your ass.

And, she wouldn’t be wearing a mask. Why? Because she doesn’t need one, and masks don’t fit her personality at all, with her everything is right out in the open. And, she’s a Hatfield; she doesn’t get mad… just even.

She’d also be a walking armory, what with all the knives and daggers and throwing starts, but there would be no guns. Just like her attitude towards pink, my Cupcake doesn’t like guns.

Crossbows are a completely different story, however.

A little target practice with one, and she’d give Darrell of The Walking Dead a run for his money, at least according to her dice rolls.

Anyway, yes, I need to learn how to draw and I need to learn how to code. Both of them take time and practice, and I’m impatient… Damnit.

Bah.

I’ll talk to you kids later.

Ryan

1-30-14

PS: Cupcake, I love you!!!