Pikachu, Meatloaf, and the Holy Order of the Lampshade

I love my wife. Lol. That’s all I can say. Lol.

The above list is what my Cupcake gave to me for my topics for the evening. Well, except for the Holy Order of the Lampshade, that one I came up with on my own after seeing Pikachu and Meatloaf.

So… here’s a recipe for Meatloaf, and for the sake of this blog post we’re going to replace the 1½ lbs of ground beef with 1½ lbs of ground Pikachu. That’s going to be a difficult amount to get a hold of seeing as your average Pikachu is about 3 lbs which means that there’s not that much usable meat on such a critter. So… I’m going to say that you’re probably going to need at least 10 maybe 15 Pikachu to get the correct amount of meat. Then there are the fixins. I mean, what does one serve with Pikachu Meatloaf. Is that going to be good with ketchup, like normal meatloaf? And, what about the others additives to the mix, onions, peppers, I mean there’s a lot of different options and factions to take into consideration when you’re changing the main ingredient in the dish. Seriously, I don’t think what tastes good with ground beef will taste the same with ground Pikachu…

And, that brings us to the Holy Order of the Lampshade. They’re an order of paladins that happen to have Pikachu Meatloaf as a dietary staple. Day in and day out, these holy knights suffer the consequences of eating something that has the ability to produce a static discharge equal to 25,000 volts. That’s got to mean some terrible, terrible heartburn. But, maybe it also has beneficial side effects, like some form of elemental resistance to electricity and associated Air Elementals. Maybe it even gives them the ability to produce a line of lightning as a breath weapon, so long as they use the ability within four hours of eating Pikachu Meatloaf.

I think that’d be awesome. Again, though, it would probably be a hell of a heartburn problem, one that Nexium and Prilosec can’t treat so easily.

Anyway, that’s enough out of me today.

Now, go and enjoy a healthy helping of Pikachu Meatloaf, just don’t forget the glass of milk, one produced by Miltanks.

Ryan

7-15-14

Random Update

So, I’m coming to you, seemingly, from the land beyond that of the living. Lol. At least that’s what it feels like for me. I’ve not been very good with my stats and what not as of late and there is a reason for that. I posted said reason on Facebook as little while back. (I hurt my knee.) But, I’ve not said so much about it here.

I hurt my knee. Lol. Yup, started doing a little bit of running, thinking I was making headway, and instead I’ve managed to screw my knee up. I don’t know what I did. I’m hoping it’s just a sprain, or something like that, and not something that I’m going to have surgery for. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment set up for the 24^th with an orthopedic surgeon. I will admit… I’m scared shitless.

Yeah….

Anyway, in other news, my brain is leaking out of my ears!!! Lol. As if you all didn’t know that already.

Also, I mentioned a little while ago that I was working on a new book, one that I planned to publish this year. Well, that’s true. I do plan on publishing a book this year, but I doubt that I’m going to get it out when I wanted to. I’m not really perturbed by that though, as I believe the book will benefit from the additional time I’ll have to work on it.

Why the schedule change?

Well, I’ve been working on the book for a couple of weeks now, sort of in fits and starts really, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the way I have the book outlined right now, it’s very, and I mean very, crammed together. Like I feel that there’s no room for character development at all, and that just sucked the ‘I want to write this’ feeling right out of the book. I mean what’s the point in writing a book, in sitting down and investing myself and my time in the book, writing it, and then walking away from it and know nothing more about the story then I did when I wrote the outline. That’s not the way this game is played. No sir.

So…

So, I’m not going to go all the way back to the drawing board with it, but I am going to go back to the outline and see where I can expand the book, so that there’s breathing room for the characters and my intense curiosity about each of them. I’ve also come to terms with the fact that this will likely double the length of the book. Lol. But, hey, if it makes the book better, then every word is going to be worth it.

And, that is officially enough out of my flapping jaws for one day. I shall talk to you kids tomorrow.

Ryan

7/10/14

Spock

Spock is THE original alien. Lol. Spock made it cool to be an alien. Yeah, I don't know. It just seemed to be the right thing to say at the time.

Is there ever really a right time to say anything, though?

I don't know, and I don't know why I brought it up here. Yeah, my head's kind of shorting out again. That happens pretty often I suppose though.

Herm.

I guess I could start listing off facts about Spock. But, that might not be all that entertaining, so instead I'll run through crafting Spock as a Dungeons and Dragons/Pathfinder character.

And, after thinking about it, that is a bad idea.

Why?

Because I don't want to start an argument in the comments. Lol.

I was going to say he was an elf (half elf technically, since Spock is only half Vulcan) Psion following the telepath's power tree. With the abilities we've seen in the show and movies I'd put him around fifth or sixth level with most of his skill ranks dumped into knowledge (arcana most likely) and his stats would be unusually high in the strength, constitution, and intelligence areas, while lacking in charisma and wisdom. (The alternate of Bones who would be high in wisdom and charisma.)

As for gear, that'd get down right irritating trying to mimic Star Trek tech. Well, maybe not too irritating. Give him a rod of lightning in which the energy damage can be controlled, giving the rod both a stun and kill setting. That covers the phaser. A stone of communication allowing verbal communication with anyone using a similar stone linked with the same arcane “frequency” (basically meaning the stones had to be made by the same mage).

The tricorder is where I get stumped. That and the universal translator. The universal translator could be translated as a helm of speak language/tongues, giving its wearer the ability to speak any language, period. The tricorder might translate as a stone of perception, giving the user a bonus to their natural perception skill, and maybe granting them ranks in knowledge relating to what the stone picks up? I don't know.

An orb of perception, maybe?

I dunno.

If I get bored at some point I might really work up stats for both the vulcan race and Spock as a character. If I do that, though, I'll also have to work up the stats for an airship version of the Enterprise. And, I could see this going a very long way.

Oy vey.

I don't know.

I'm just going to call it a night.

Ryan

6-6-14

Hydra

Hail Hydra!!

“Whenever you cut one head off, two will grow in it's place.”

Yeah, I've got Marvel on the mind right now, and Hydra is the opposing force to the S.H.I.E.L.D. agency in the Marvel universe. Certain entertaining things have happened to that organization in the recent movies that won't be mentioned here, but I find them entertaining. And, I haven't even seen said movies.

I should.

Meh, maybe later.

Anywho, a Hydra is a sort of giant lizard from Greek mythology. They have multiple heads, usually three at the very least, and when one of those heads is hacked off two more will grow in its lace. Hence the quote above. There are really only two ways to kill a Hydra. You can cut off the heads and apply an intense flame to the stump to cauterize the wound and prevent regeneration. Then you can also crush the Hydra, and I believe Hercules beat the Hydra by doing just that. He dropped a mountain on the monster (at least he did in the Disney movie), and powdered every bone in its body.

There have been other depictions of the Hydra as well. They're often presented as villainous creatures in fantasy literature and role playing games. In those depictions they're often closely related to dragons. Some Hydra can breath fire, while others exhale ice, but mostly I believe they just bite things.

“Get up on the Hydra's back!” or so says Phil (Philoctetes, Hercules's personal trainer in the Disney movie) during his little role in Kingdom Hearts II and I would vote him the most irritating characters in the game.

Why?

He repeats that damn quote about five thousand times during the fight with the Hydra. It's enough to drive a person insane. Extremely insane. Like hear it in your sleep insane.

And, now I feel as though I've run out of things to say. I could probably roll back over to the D&D thing and discuss how I could integrate the Hydra into my game. But, right now I've not done a lot of work which happens to be about zombies and vampires and takes place in modern day and is thus pretty far away from Greek mythology and the Hydra.

So, I'm out peeps!

Ryan

4-26-14

Allergies

It’s such a wonderful thing that 99% of the Earth’s population has them; that’s right boys and girls, allergies. Who knows why some people are allergic to penicillin? Or is there a reason as to why people are allergic to certain foods or fauna? There probably is, and it is probably just a Google search away. But, I’m having one of those lazy days where I feel like I shouldn’t do anything, but since it’s not F*** it Friday there’s no excuse for me not to do these things.

So, why won’t I do a Google search? The reason is I don’t care enough about the answer to pursue it. Put forth the effort to find it. However you want to say it. So, instead of worrying about the answer to the question, I’m just going to talk about how allergies affect me and mine.

Allergies hate our family, me and Cupcake, and they hate us in the way mosquitoes hate us. I’m like a walking all you can eat buffet when it comes to mosquitoes, and for allergies I’m allergic to pretty much every type of pollen. If the pollen count is high, my nose is running, my eyes are burning, and I’ll have sneezing spasms with up to 20 or more sneezes. Yes, it’s possible, and yes, it hurts like hell.

Now, Cupcake has a lot of allergies, but hers affect her in a different way. She has near constant sinus infections. Her lungs are always full of gunk and she’s sneezing and coughing and really has the whole I’m miserable sick sort of thing going on. I try to pamper her during these weeks long infections, but sometimes it gets really icky. (Love you Cupcake!) Anyway, filled with sinus problems or not, she’s my Cupcake and I love her.

I also like to make fun of her other major allergy. Cupcake is lactose intolerant. She can’t drink milk, eat cheese, drink anything with the word cream in it, and even milk chocolate bars give her problems. But, guess what… She eats these things anyway. Lol. I’m not sure if she just loves dairy products, or if she’s some kind of masochist.

Who knows?

How do allergies affect my game world; I would have to say I don’t know. I’ve never cared enough to think that much about it. It really seems to be one of those things you can just gloss over, unless you’ve got a character that has allergies. But, still, that’s more of a character trait then something to do with world building. I dunno.

I could incorporate magical allergies into the game. It would be like character xyz has an allergy to polymorph spells. Polymorph spells cast on this character are subject to a d% failure/success chart, and the effect on the character is subject to a randomized effect, plus 1d3 points of constitution damage or something like that.

Who knows?

There are probably rules for it somewhere, but I’m not going to go digging for them.

And, I’m going to call it there.

Later kids.

Ryan

3-11-14

Pixies-Damien

I really wish I knew how to draw... This looks nothing like Damien.
http://wolverine041269.deviantart.com/

Or to be more accurate I should say Damien, since I’m dedicating this post to my miniature titan of terror.

Damien Trollbringer is the name he gave himself when he decided the run of the mill pixie shit wasn’t for him. Sure, he enjoyed causing chaos, and he enjoyed causing it even more due to his demonic heritage. It was a miracle he even survived his birth. The younger pixies, in spite of the elders’ decision, wanted to destroy him. The elders protected him though, using powerful illusions cast on both the other pixies and on him. Even now, Damien maintains the ability to switch from pleasant looking pixie to his true half demon form.

Now, the chaos he causes is much more of the evil variety. Most of the time he won’t fool with little pranks, believing them to be childish and beneath him, but when he does he’ll set powerful spells, such as a planar gate (opened to a random lower plane) placed directly behind a door. Or he’ll scatter a box of fireball beads along a forest trail, then wait and watch for some poor fool to step on one.

Then there are the rage filled moments where Damien will fly into a village and just start killing. He’ll burn the whole town to the ground in one night. Maybe he’ll take two, and find a way to make the townsfolk kill one another.

Damien does run into problems though. Not goodly aligned player characters or NPCs that want his head. Nope, luck is his problem. That planar gate saw to the end of an evil wizard’s reign. The fireball beads were stepped on by bandits who were attacking a passing caravan. And, the villages he’s burned down and slaughtered everybody in town. Well… One was a cultist cabal and each soul in the town was tarnished by murder and sacrifice to a dark god. The other was a lawless village and haven for the malign.

These are facts that bother him to no end.

Damien has been touched by Locestra, chaotic goddess of luck and chance. This touch twists Damien’s actions. When he tries to cause evil and act as he feels a villain should act, his intentions turn into positive results. This infuriates him to no end and he’s pledged to kill Locestra because of it.

He has had projects that were successful beyond his wildest dreams, as well.

1     Tiny- Tiny is a half-ogre half-giant (uses the half giant race from Expanded Psionics Handbook) that Damien modified. He accelerated Tiny’s growth from infancy to adulthood and poured ever ounce of power possible into making Tine the strongest beast he’d ever seen (uses the paragon addition to his strength and charisma scores) but this caused extremely unsatisfactory results with Tiny’s intellect (Int 3, Wis 8, Cha 4). So, Damien created The Monocle, a semi-artifact that increases Tiny’s intellectual scores by two-thirds the paragon addition (+10 to each). This gives Tiny a true split personality, and the ability to just Hulk out.

           Revenire- Revenire, which means troll in Romanian, is considered the Troll King, and the very reason Damien uses the surname Trollbringer. Revenire is a troll Damien experimented on after Tiny escaped, and instead of focusing on the troll’s strength, he focused on its intellect. A troll knows nothing about combat tactics or military maneuvers, they’re lucky if they can speak. Damien knew a real threat in a troll was a smart troll. So, he reversed what he did with Tiny. He made Revenire brilliant, taught him the intricacies of magic. He taught military tactics to him, and everything he could think of. Damien literally made Revenire the most brilliant mind on the face of the planet. But, Damien didn’t put in a control switch. There was a great battle between the two, Damien versus Revenire, survival versus freedom, and magic was the weapon of choice. The two of them expended their most powerful spells and destroyed the tower Damien had built deep in the swamp. Damien woke up, days after the battle, but when he searched the towers remains he found no evidence of Revenire. He assumed Revenire died in the explosion.

Damien was touched by Locestra, the chaotic goddess of luck and chance, who finds Damien’s actions and the results of them entertaining. So, what’s the likelihood that Damien achieved something truly evil in the creation of Revenire? And, what’s the likelihood of Revenire walking away from that battle? Who knows? Sometimes, a mystery is the best type of chaos.

Ryan

3-8-14

Tieflings

Tieflings is the topic my lovely and beautiful wife has given me today, and I find this kind of entertaining because a tiefling is the race she picked in my most recent game. Err… it’s the race she’s playing right now. And, she does very well, so far as I’m concerned, with how she goes about playing the character.

Tieflings are considered one of the planetouched races, this means that at some point in their ancestry there was a marriage of a mortal and an outsider (outsider being the type given to creatures and species that don’t originate on the material plane). Marriage simply meaning there was sex (or rape) that fostered the birth of a half child. By half child I mean either a half-celestial child, where an angel or there about is one of the parents, or it is a half-fiend, typically fathered by demons or devils of one sort or another. Tieflings are descended from the latter. They are the end result of centuries of half demons breeding with mortals, and it dips down to such a point as the Tiefling is the very last drop of fel-powered blood in the line of descent. So much so, that I believe (and I think there are rules for it, but I’m not sure) when Tieflings mate what race the offspring is turns into a craps shoot. Meaning, if two Tieflings were to have a child the result would be another Tiefling. If a male of XYZ race was to mate with a female Tiefling you would have a fifty percent chance of having a Tiefling or having a pure born member of XYZ race. If a male Tiefling were to mate with a female member of XYZ race things would be even more skewed. In that situation there would be a seventy-five percent chance of having a tiefling. And, the statistics could continue with generation X’s probability of producing a Tiefling just because they carry those genes. I guess it’s kind of like being a ginger.

To sum all that up in one easy sentence: It’s a lot like playing the lottery.

Now how we ran off on that completely random tangent is not something I’m entirely sure of. I guess something about… nope, not going that direction again. Basically, Tieflings are one of those races that is always different. There’s always something about them that just doesn’t sit right with you. Maybe their eyes are red, or maybe they have horns, or a tail, or the potential for a completely wild and fragmented personality with each shard showing more and more of that particular Tiefling’s ancestry. I would say it is something along those lines.

Anyway, how to incorporate Tieflings into my game is a really dumb question. Lol. Three of my PCs are tieflings, and each of them have wildly different takes on what it means to be a tiefling, and I like it like that.

And, I guess that’s it for me today. Lol.

Now, it’s time to write another blog post, since this one was so behind on getting finished. YAY!

Ryan

3-4-14/3-5-14

Mermaids

Ah, mermaids, a topic I’m less than interested in. Lol. And, one that always makes me think of Disney’s The Little Mermaid. It’s a tale as old as time… wait… that’s Beauty and the Beast. Anyway, The Little Mermaid is about a girl falling in love upon her first glance of a gorgeous guy (requisite eye roll), and how she goes head over fin to change herself to make previously mentioned gorgeous guy to fall in love with her.

Gag.

Yeah, part of me is kidding about all of that, and part of me is being straight up honest. Which part do you think it is?

And, on the topic of mermaids, this little gem seems to have been floating around the internet. How many of you are excited to see it?!?

Well, I’m bursting your bubble. It’s bunk. This is the work of a photoshop artist named Thomas Kurinawan, and he’s gone about transforming many celebrities into Disney princesses. Some of these photoshop works are well done, some of them aren’t, and I’m not much of a judge because I don’t know a lot about photoshop. But, I also know what I think looks good, and about half of that looks… I’ll not throw stones. Lol.

And, now I suppose I should try and find a way to work mermaids into my game, but I’m not really sure I want to. Lol.

Mermaids would be easy to fit into the game though. The current setting, a pirate port in the Underhaven by the name of Netheretia, is situated on the coast of an underground sea that meets with the actual ocean through a number of naturally occurring portals. So, I could easily see to it that there’s a colony of merfold settled in Netheretia’s bay or just outside of one of the natural portals.

I might even be able to work that into the overall campaign. The main beastie (the same one I talked about in my Dreams post) comes from the depths of the ocean, much deeper than any merfolk could possibly go, but his forces could attack a merfolk colony and the PCs could be coerced into investigating the situation. And, by coerced I mean their lives will be snuffed out if they refuse… Did I say that out loud? Shit.

Anywho, I believe it’s time for me to shut up before I give away anymore game secrets. Lol.

Ryan

2-27-14

Dreams

Dreams can be many things to many different people. They can be good happy things where everything is perfect. They can be terrible nightmares that hell couldn’t hold a candle too. And, then they can make absolutely no sense at all with the world seeming to be skewed this way and that. Then, you can also look at dreams as ambition; the thing you want to do with your life and the heights you want to rise too. A dream can be something you want.

My dream—at the moment—is to find something to say about dreams that doesn’t sound ridiculous. Lol.

I was talking to Cupcake about it, and we were basically talking about how I could use dreams in the story. She mentioned using mindflayers (psychic mini Cthulhus that eat brains) as antagonists who create perfect dreams for the PCs, with the downside being the PCs could never escape from their dreams when they realized it was a nightmare. The problem with that comes from the OGL. Mindflayers, also called Illithids, are not considered Open Game content. They are part of the Product Identity of Wizards of the Coast Dungeons and Dragons brand. Therefore, if I use them, then publish the adventure (as I plan to do with all of the adventures I write), then I will get a nice fat lawsuit dropped right on my head. And, that would just suck.

So, there won’t be any mindflayers in my game. That doesn’t mean I don’t have equally nasty monsters to take the place of those critters. But, talking about them here would give away the big surprise I’ve got planned for the PCs. (Please note that said surprise has something to do with the campaign as a whole and not just the current adventure.) That should leave them guessing for a while, lol.

Anyway, this surprise beastie has psychic powers far beyond the capabilities of any being the PCs have run into yet, and parts of it have the wicked urge to infiltrate an enemy’s dreams; a sort of psychological warfare, and, yes, they can easily take control of those dreams by tapping into the subconscious and finding the things the subject desires most in life and the things the subject fears the most. Then it would bend those things to get the subject to act the way it desires. If it wants to keep it from resting, it will give the subject the most terrifying nightmares possible. If it wants the subject to be overconfident in their actions, it will give the subject dreams about what it wants most.

Then if the beastie is pissed off at the subject it can put the subject through hell by subjecting it to a dream that it can never escape from. The body would wither and die slowly as the conscious and subconscious minds were tormented, even killed, time and time again so long as their bodies draw breath. Escaping from that sort of nightmare would be a helluva feat, and it would certainly be something entertaining to throw at the PCs. The first obstacle they’d have to overcome would be realizing they’re in a dream. The second would be communicating with one another. The third would be finding a way to break the beasties hold on them. All the while, the beastie would be watching them, knowing their moves before they’re made, and it would be entertained. Maybe it’s something that can’t be beaten.

Who knows?

Not I said the fly.

I guess it’s just going to have to be one of those adventures I write and play with my group to find the answer.

Now I bet Cupcake wishes she hadn’t made that suggestion about mindflayers. Lol.

Ryan

2-25-14

Lich

Or to speak in the plural, liches. Why? Because there’s never just one lich.

In Old English the word lich (also spelled lych) means corpse. There’s nothing supernatural about it, nothing past the typical superstitions about the dead at that point in time, but now Lich has taken on an entirely new meaning. A Lich, as a proper noun, means a mortal who has used evil magic to extend his life far past his life expectancy. The spells and rituals transform the lich from a living creature to a member of the undead.

Imagine, if you will, a zombie standing before you. It looks like any of the other shambling corpses, but it’s well dressed, and its clothes seem to be free of the gore acquired by the other monsters. You shoot it in the head, its brains blowing out the back of its skull in a great bloody spray, but the zombie doesn’t fall. Instead, it smiles, starts to laugh, and it whispers a few words. Lightning blasts forth from its fingertips, cutting through you like a knife. The shambling monsters turn towards you, towards the smell of cooked meat, and the last thing you hear is the lich’s cruel laugh rising high into the night sky.

http://looneydm.blogspot.com/2012/01/lich.html

So, yeah, there’s that fun bit. And, about the ‘shooting it in the head and it not dying’ thing, that’s simple to explain. You see, a Lich’s soul is no longer attached to its body. It just possesses whatever corpse is closest to the lich’s phylactery.

Phylactery, it’s a big word, but you know what I’m talking about. Even I you’ve never played a single session of D&D. I know you know what I’m talking about, and you’ll know it to with the very next sentence. A phylactery is an object, often magical, that the person becoming a lich attaches a portion of its soul too, so that when a lich’s host body is destroyed their full soul can return to it to recuperate.

Know what I’m talking about now?

It sounds like Voldemort’s Horcruxes right?

And, the One Ring, forged by Sauron who poured all of his malice and hatred into the ring to give it the power to extend the bearers life. Gollum lived well past the life expectancy of the river folk, and Bilbo lived more than a hundred and eleven years. That’s quite a long time for a hobbit who isn’t supposed to grow past sixty years of age.

You see, you knew what I was talking about, and if you don’t I have one more example for you.

This guy even has it in his name. He is the Lich King, the corpse king, lord of all that is undead and unholy, and leader of the Undead Scourge. He is a lich that started out as a shaman named Ner’zhul, but lichdom was forced on him by the demons of the Burning Legion. His soul was bound to three magical items: the runeblade Frostmourne, a full plate armor set known as the Plate of the Damned, and the Helm of Domination which converted Ner’zhul’s vast natural magical powers into telepathic magic, allowing his will to extend its reach to every undead in the world of Azeroth.

And, I could go on for hours about the Lich King, but that’s talking a bit too much about Blizzard’s game and not mine. So, how am I going to incorporate a lich into my game? It should be obvious. I’m going to create a lich to play antagonist to my player characters, and the funny thing is, I’ve already started to set this up.

In the city my PCs are currently adventuring under there is a place on the map called The Lich’s Palace. I just haven’t decided how this is going to work with the rest of the game.

And, as with CM Puck, the Lich is going to have to wait a little while before I think about his adventure

That’s all from me. Later kids.

Ryan

2-13-14

Vampires

If you’re new to the blog, there are a couple of things you should know. First, I don’t come up with my own topics, my wife, Cupcake/Melanie, gives me a topic and I write about it. Second, I kind of make a little game out of it where I try to find a way to work the topic into upcoming installments of my Dungeons and Dragons game. My wife plays in my game as one of the player characters… so, you’d think she’d think of fun fluffy topics like princesses and ponies, but no, she gave me vampires instead.

Vampires are a staple in paranormal fiction (not just horror anymore) and I have to admit they’re probably my second favorite fictional creature (the first being dragons), so I feel like I’m pretty up to speed on how the whole vampire thing works.

Vampires, first and foremost, are bad guys. In the folk tales that gave them life they were villains, and when Bram Stoker penned Dracula he turned the vampire into an archetypal villain. Simply put, the vampire (and Count Dracula in particular) have been copied over and over and over again in all forms of media. They’ve been in books (duh), movies, comic books, paintings, songs, they’ve crossed genres and have been in space and became the centerpiece of the paranormal romance fiction. But, they’ve never really lost that edge, that “I am the bad guy” feeling. Hell, even Stephanie Meyer tried to convey that feeling in the Twilight books. (I don’t have a lot of positive things to say about those books, but her treatment of vampires as villains—James, Aro, Jane—is one of those positive things.)

So, when it comes to working vampires into my Dungeons and Dragons game that’s not a problem at all. I can see my world filled with these monsters that stalk the night, and beyond that there have already been vampires in my game.

Well…

Not in this game in particular, but there was in the last game. Though, it was a half-vampire/dhampire (whatever you want to cal it), and the PCs never came across it. I put the monster (a rogue and assassin named Guildenstern) in the game for later on in the campaign. He ran the mortuary in New Windhaven  (the starting town for the last game) and was going to become a recurring antagonist when the PCs hit level ten or so.

I was going to have it that he was hired to attack the PCs. I don’t remember what it was I had him hired to do besides playing antagonist, but it’s really not important now.

Life happens, things change, and for reasons I won’t mention we’re not playing that campaign anymore. But, I will keep in mind. Maybe our current PCs will piss some powerful lord off, and they’ll have a monstrous half-vampire knocking on their door in the middle of the night.

Anywho, I’m checking out for the night. Later kids.

Ryan

2-12-14

CM Punk

So… yeah… this last weekend kind of sucked for me, but it’s not something I’m going to get into here. I’d rather keep things light and cheery, and the weekend was filled with dreariness and pain. The only bright spot in the whole thing was our DnD game. I wrote one encounter for the game, and I prayed it would take the PCs more than fifteen minutes to plow through it. It took them two and a half hours to get through what I had prepped… and technically they still aren’t done yet. There’s one third of the maze left, but I think my little Childlike Goddess is going to fix it so they don’t have to work through it. I put them through enough hell with the last two thirds. Lol.

Anyway, that’s not what I’m supposed to be talking about. Nope, today cupcake gave me the topic of CM Punk. Well, at first she gave me the topic of the WWE, then I asked her how she expected me to work the WWE into my DnD game without getting sued. So, she narrowed it down to CM Punk. It will take a little finagling to get him into the game, but I think I can do it lawsuit free.

Anyway, CM Punk…

I don’t know what to say…

My first exposure to CM Punk was when the WWE brought ECW (Extreme Championship Wrestling) promotion back from the grave they sent it to a decade earlier. I watched it infrequently when it came on (I’ve always been an on again off again wrestling fan) and for the longest time, right after it premiered I believe, CM Punk had a winning streak a mile long. He was a fantastic technical wrestler who, I thought, didn’t need to add a lot of flash to his matches. I mean really, his finishing move at the time was a Cobra Clutch (a submission maneuver). And, he was good with the mic. Punk had, and has, a mountain of charisma and would have excelled at whatever field he chose to go into.

And, he excelled at wrestling.

But, he’s had problems with the WWE off and on over the years. Punk doesn’t fit the stereotype the WWE caters too. He’s a short guy, shorter than me (though since I’m 5’11” that’s not a hard thing to do) and he probably weights between 190 and 220 soaking wet. (I’m taller than he is, and I weigh more than he does, but GD he could kick my ass up and down the basketball court.) And, what the WWE thinks a wrestler should look like is 6’2” and between 220 and 300 pounds, and cut like some sort of Athenian god. Yes, a body builder like the Govenator is what they’re looking for. CM Punk is not that.

Still he jumped through every hoop the WWE lit on fire and more. He made it to the top, spent a year and four months, or something like that, as the WWE champion and they still treated him like trash. Not once has CM Punk headlined a Wrestlemania (he’s had championship matches at Wrestlemania, but he’s never been the main event, last fight of the night), he was down played when it came to The Rock, who hadn’t wrestled in nearly a decade, decided to come back and face John Cena for the WWE championship. It was The Rock Punk lost the championship to at the end of this legendary title reign.

And, now CM Punk has a new problem with the WWE. Daniel Brian. Punk doesn’t have a problem with Daniel Brian, he has a problem with the way they’re treating their fan voted superstar of the year. The WWE is treating Daniel Brian the same way they treated Punk at the beginning of his career.

So, Punk quit, and now everybody’s speculating as to what will happen next. Will he go to MMA and face off with Power Ranger’s legend Jason David Frank? One can only hope.

As for me, I’ve got a bug to pick with a Halfling. The damned little thing as come close to getting the party Cthulhu’ed twice! So, I’ve decided to work this Halfling and CM Punk into one entity. Introducing CM Puck, like the character from A Midsummer Night’s Dream, the one who gave the prologue, (Puck was his name. Lol.) and as CM Puck this little Halfling is a bard fighter multiclass character (maybe even a level of monk or two… er maybe not) whose been seen showing up the bigger baddies in the bare fist boxing ring. Now he’s up against Really Repulsive Ricky (Triple R), whose manager is Vance McClavical, and the odds are in CM Puck’s favor. McClavical will do just about anything, at this point, to keep CM Puck from winning, maybe even going so far as to hire the PCs to fix the match for him.

Cthulhu’ed: summoning the great old one for the explicit purpose of eliminating the player characters.

Anyway, I’m going to stop working on the next adventure and get back to my current one. The PCs might be upset if I’ve got nothing ready for them this Saturday.

Ryan

2-11-14