First Novels: Raising Kain

I've said this with other posts, but yes, this is the third time I've sat down to work on this post. I have a valid reason though. I didn't like the way the first one started, and I started the second about five minutes before the end of my break. Had I realized that at the time, I wouldn't have started it then.

Either way, we have this post going now, so I'll just keep on writing.

The reason I didn't like what I had first written is because I was trying to pass off wise and sage advice. Then I looked at it, and knew I shouldn't be giving such advice. It's not that I don't have experience in the situation I'm bringing up. I just don't feel that I've matured enough from that experience to really be able to see it from all angles.

So, all I can really do is tell you about my experience with “first novels”.

I started writing Raising Kain after I read the how-to book Writing the Novel: From Plot to Print. (It's a very good how-to book, and is something I would suggest any writer, new to the craft or not, pick up.) Also, the name of the author is Lawrence Block. What helped me get started on my novel wasn't really what inspired the novel. It was more of a connection I felt with the writer. The way he was talking about his writing experiences the more I felt like I could see myself in that role, experiencing the things he experienced. Then he talked about his early writing habits.

Lawrence Block wrote soft core sex novels for the first few years of his career. He would write two of these a month. He'd do twenty pages a day Monday through Friday, not write anything on the weekends, then finish the book the next work week.

I don't know what possessed me, but I thought “Yeah! I can do this!” (I would also like to note that my first novel was not a soft core sex book.) So, I sat down, on a Monday I think, with a small idea about a boy who becomes the greatest hero in Atlantis, and I knocked out twenty pages. Tuesday (day two or whatever, I don't remember the days of the week) I knocked out another twenty pages. (If you're wondering, twenty pages equals some 6,000 words, not a number to be laughed at.) Both days I walked away from the computer exhausted and broken. It took almost every hour I was awake to write that much.

After that, I didn't touch the book for a week.

I was burnt out on it. I didn't think about it. I didn't want to think about it. All I wanted to do was shut it out of my mind. It wouldn't go away, thankfully.

That next Monday (using that day because Monday is a good day to start things, I guess) and I wrote more on the story. I didn't write twenty pages. I think I wrote five, and instead of walking away from the book like I'd gone eight rounds with Mike Tyson, I walked away feeling good. I felt accomplished, and that's the way it went for the rest of the book. I wrote a little each day, and inch my inch the novel got done.

I loved that novel.

I still love that novel.

And, I found out not too long after I finished writing it that it wasn't even really a novel. It tapped out at forty-eight thousand words, and your average novel starts at sixty-thousand words or so. Yeah, I was kind of crushed.

I still consider it my first novel though. And, I still fondly remember writing it. The only thing that makes me really sad is that I need to keep it hidden in a chest for fear that someone might read it. Lol. Not because I don't think it's good, I absolutely love the story, it's because of the way my writing style has evolved. Raising Kain very much looks like it was written by a child coming out of the sixth grade.

Now, I've ran my mouth on for far longer than I expected too. So, I'm going to shut up, and maybe continue to tell the tales of my first novels.

Ryan

5-8-14

MIA

I’ve been out of touch for the last couple of days, and I guess what I need to do now is explain why. Well, I probably don’t actually have to explain why. I just feel like I should since I don’t like leaving things unexplained.

Monday, I didn’t write a blog post to put up for Tuesday. Part of the reason for that is because I typed my last blog post, Spring, right after I got home from work, and thus felt like I’d already written my blog post. I guess that’s kind of a trap I set for myself, because I more or less did the same thing either last week or the week before. I can’t remember. I would write a blog post for that day, and type it before I did anything else on my list.

I don’t like that I did it, but I can’t go back and change it now. And, I can’t go back to Monday to make myself write a blog post. I don’t have a TARDIS. If I did, though, I would go back and make myself do a lot of things differently, but I’m pretty sure that in the act of doing that I would create a temporal paradox and the universe would come crashing down around me.

Might be entertaining to watch.

Either way, what’s done is done.

Now, I have a better reason for not doing stuff on Tuesday.

I went to the dentist on Tuesday. Normally, that’s not such a big deal. But, this is the first time I’ve ever had to get a tooth pulled. And, I really had to get two of them pulled.

One of them they got out. It took some work, but they got it out. The other one didn’t go so smoothly. They couldn’t get it to come loose, or it was stuck on something. I’m not sure, but it wouldn’t come out. And, now the bloody thing hurts. It wiggles every time I chew something, and if I bite down on it the wrong way it feels like I’ve been stabbed in the face.

It makes me want to cry.

I don’t know how I’m going to be able to handle work tomorrow, but I really don’t have a choice in the matter. That’s part of being an adult, I’m afraid.

Oy vey.

Anywho, I’m going to quit bitching, take about 1600 milligrams of ibuprofen and go to bed.

God, be with me, I’m going to need you tomorrow.

Ryan

3-26-14

And, just to throw a DnD reference in there I'd rather fight one of these:

www.conceptart.org

Than have another tooth pulled. Or maybe I'd rather have this thing being the one to pull my teeth. Then I know it wouldn't hurt for very long.

Owls

I’m sitting here at work right now, wondering why I have to be stuck at work. I wonder why I’ve not succeeded yet, why I haven’t been published and am living the lifestyle of a fabulously wealthy author. I meant successful, not wealthy, but it will do. And, over the years I’ve come up with several answers to those questions. Some of the answers make sense, while others have come out of left field. The only thing they’ve all got in common is the fact that they’re not complimentary to the person asking the questions. In fact, I’m sure I would be beaten, severely, with a wet noodle should I write even one of those answers here. It’s best to just not do it. So, instead I’ll ask a question I can answer.

“Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?”

Mr. Owl takes the lollipop and licks it, “one, two, three,” and he bites through the rest, getting to the center of the tootsie roll pop.

So, why would the little boy in the commercial go and ask Mr. Owl for the answer? The answer to that is symbolism. The owl, with its regal bearing and luminescent eyes has been a symbol of wisdom for many, many years; centuries in fact, if I’m not mistaken. Like the wise old man on top of the mountain, the owl, and those who identify with the creature have been sought out for their wisdom and advice.

In my own experience, I feel that the owl is my spiritual guide (it’s either that or a squirrel), and I base this belief on the one time I’ve seen an owl.

The animal was standing in the road as I was driving along. There wasn’t roadkill beside it, it was just waiting and watching me come closer. It should have been blinded by my headlights, but it wasn’t. It looked past my headlights, and locked eyes with me. In that moment I felt stripped naked, bearing the whole of my soul out to this one creature. The truck continued on, but the owl took flight, spreading its great wings and rising up above the truck like an angel. I knew then that there was more to this world, more to this life, and this owl had been sent to me as a message to bring that home.

I try to keep that message in my mind every day. I try to bring the wisdom of that one owl to everyone else who reads my work. We are not alone in the universe, there are many other people in many other realities, and those focused on the arts are our glimpses into those realities.

Remember, the next time you’re reading a book. Those characters are real, their feelings and hopes and failures are real, and so long as you keep them in mind they will continue to be real.

And, to ruin all the nice poetic things I just said, I wonder what would have happened if the owl didn’t fly out of the way. Would it have been a satisfying crunch?

Ryan

3-21-14

Ice Giant

Today, we’re going to talk about the topic that Cupcake tried to give me yesterday. This is after she said Ragnarok, and I implied that it was going to play some part in the DnD game. I told her no, and said I would do the Ice Giants today, and that’s what we’re going to talk about.

Ice Giants… That’s not what they’re called, and being a Dungeons and Dragons player it kills me to even put the two words together. The adjective ice would imply that the Giants are made of ice, therefore turning them into constructs and golems, and they’re far from that. The better term, the Dungeons and Dragons term, is Frost Giant. And, if we want to get really technical they’re called the Jotunn in Norse Mythology, and they reside in a world called Jotunheim (literally meaning home of the jotunn).

In Norse Mythology, the Jotunn server several very important roles in the order of reality: the world as we know it was created from the body of the largest of the Jotunn, a giant called Ymir. The jotunn also find themselves coming up against the Æsir, the gods of Norse mythology, often playing the role of antagonist, such as the trickster god Loki… who was never actually a god. He was just a jotunn… and he was of no relation to Thor either… in fact… Thor wasn’t even Odin’s son… Scratch that, Google corrected me. I really didn’t think there was any relation there. I thought Odin’s only son was Baldr. Yeah… just looking at Wikipedia for five minutes screwed all of my knowledge of Norse Mythology.

I did check, and yes I was right about Loki having no relation to Thor. Lol.

…

…

…

Sorry, I got distracted there. Watching Tom Hiddleston getting the shit knocked out of him by the Hulk.

“Puny God.”

Gives me chills every time. Which, is kind of right on the mark seeing as Loki is a frost giant, and I’m trying to bring the conversation back around to that point. And, I seem to be failing, as I can think of nothing at all to say about the Frost Giants.

They play a major role in Dungeons and Dragons (obviously) as they are one of the more intelligent and extremely unfriendly types of giants. They’re often seen in the company of orcs and ogres and they’re usually the ones doing the bossing around.

In The Hunter’s Blade trilogy, by R.A. Salvatore, the frost giants, lead by Gerti Oreldottr, are allies with the up and coming orc King Obould Many Arrows as his orcish horde overran the Silver Marches and the kingdom of Bruenor Battlehammer. The frost giants didn’t see much direct combat though, mainly serving as artillery for the army. Being able to lift two and three ton boulders and chuck them up to a mile away makes them just as good as any catapult. Even better really, seeing as it’s much easier to grab a rock up off the ground and hurl it through the air, then it is to wind a catapult back down, load it, position it just right, release it, and pray it hits what you want it to hit. Yup, I’ll definitely be thinking about frost giants the next time I have to overrun a small township with a single wizard tower and a wooden defense wall.

And, this brings me to another point, how should I incorporate the frost giants into my game? I don’t know, and it’s not particularly important at the moment. My PCs are tucked safely(?) away deep underground, and next to an ocean close to the equator of Launam. Not the type of area where a frost giant would be happy.

So, you’re safe for now, Damn Dirty Dungeon Crawlers… You’re safe for now…

Ryan

2-23-14

Frogs

I do believe this has become a sort of game between us. Cupcake gives me off the wall topics, and I take them and find some way to fit them into the D&D game. I enjoy doing it too, because it creates a constant wellspring of ideas for different types of adventures and different types of encounters in those adventures. Today’s topic might be a little bit harder to incorporate into the game, if I want to do more than mention it in passing.

Frogs, when Cupcake said that my response was “really…” and her reply was “yes, I dare you, lol”, to which I replied “to what? work them into the game? because I can do it. I can so do it :P”. She said, “Bullshit.” (If you can’t guess this was through Facebook chat. Yes, we’re separated by one wall that’s maybe six inches thick, and we talk on Facebook. We’ve even done it when we’re in the same room. Lol.) So, now I have been challenged, and I will respond to that challenge. I will work frogs into the game. You just wait and see.

And, now, after my break to get my stats posted on Facebook, my brain seems to have shut down. I can’t think of where I was going with this topic. Thought, I can pick up on a couple of different threads.

The first way to include frogs in the game would be to stat the critter, or find one on the internet where someone has already statted them. Then I would go and work the frog stats into a creature called a swarm. Although, I think it would be more apropos to call it a Plague of Frogs, given the biblical reference.

The other way to do it would be to create a creature that resembles and has all the characteristics of a frog, but is a wee bit larger, say a dire frog, taking the stats from the first inclusion, and then advancing them until the frog is the size of a small pony.

The third way I see, and the way that intrigues me the most, is to take the appearance of the frog, it’s jumping qualities and long whip like tongue, and making a demonic creature out of it. Felgrog, I believe I’ll call it, and this mother****** is going to be the size of a house. It’ll have the aquatic subtype along with its demonic heritage, and will have a tentacle (representing its tongue) as a primary attack. It will also have improved grab, constrict, and swallow whole as special attacks. I would say it also has a slam and crush attack. I’m not sure what it’s challenge rating should be.

I don’t know.

I’ll probably think of it later, along with actually putting numbers to the stats of the felgrog.

And, I have something else to say. On my second glance at the Monster Manual I realized the toad is an animal included in the back of the book. The stats for it, however, are underwhelming and anything I came up with would probably be better in the long run. It is nice to have a starting place though.

Anywho, if I’m feeling frisky later I might attempt to draw my felgrog and stat the beast up. If I do, I shall post the result here.

Later kids.

Ryan

2-19-14

Puppies

This post will probably not mention puppies at all, so… we’ll leave it at that.

What today’s post is going to be about is my ability to be a douche bag (pardon the language). I’ve had a semi-crappy semi-not-crappy semi-cranky day. It’s been weird. I really don’t know what to say abou tit.

I had to work today, that much I can tell you, and working interfered with me walking earlier in the day. I did do my walk at Walmart when I got out of work, but I think that set me off kilter to start with. It’s insane, but in those two days I got used to doing my walk when I woke up, took Erik to work, and what not, then going on with the rest of my day. And, just having to work today threw me off. I really gotta get my shit straight.

So, the walk was late, The Goal That Shall Not Be Named was later, and once again, I’m sitting here at 10:30 pm trying to get a blog post written. I’m still not sure what the post’s topic ought to be.

I could actually write about puppies… now that I’m done whining about how life didn’t work out the way I wanted it too. And, the real good answer to that, the one I need to hear is boo hoo, get used to it. If you want to make something of yourself in life, or try to change something about your life, sitting around and complaining about it isn’t going to get anything done.

My wife and I had a long talk about that, and I came to the same conclusion I’ve always come too. I need to change, I need to put forward the effort required to turn my life around. And, I need to follow through with it. Making plans have always been easy for me, it’s the follow through that kills me.

And, still, there isn’t any actual mention of puppies.

I liked the result I got when I started posting my walk stats and what not on Facebook. I’ve been a little dismayed that those are becoming fewer and fewer, but I’m the only person who can change that. What I’m trying to get at though, is being held publicly accountable for my actions. I liked that. And, I liked the overwhelmingly positive response I got from it right there in the beginning.

There might be a correlation between that tapering off and the number of days I go between posting stats. Maybe. Or maybe Facebook is a bitch. Either way…

Puppies are awesome!

What I’m going to try to do is shoulder a little bit heavier of a load than I have been. Mel’s had to carry too much of the weight for far too long. I need to get serious.

I’ve been looking at doing freelance writing work, and looking at revenue sharing websites (you’ve noticed the ads I believe) and I need to get serious if I’m going to turn this into a form of income.

First, I need to learn SEO (Search Engine Optimization is what that stands for… I believe) and I need to learn some tricks about getting more traffic to my pages. I’ll google how to do that tomorrow, I’m about to doze off right now. And, there’s a lot more I need to look into learning, but we’ll start with SEO and traffic tips first.

G’nite kids.

Ryan

Journal 7-9-13

I don't remember what I wrote yesterday, and I'm too lazy to see what it was. But, it's not nearly as important as this news broadcast.

This, right now, is very likely the last night I will spend on John Ramey's property. (If you don't know who that is you're lucky. I wish I didn't know who that was.) that's right ladies and germs. It is time for the move to HAPPEN!!!!

At least I think it is. Lol.

Beyond that, there's still not much to talk about. 

I'm still working at McDonalds.

I still dislike the contractor.

I still think I'm going to get rich when I publish Cold Lunch.

And, I still think I'm the best thing since sliced bread.

Yeah, that's just how awesome I am.

That insanity aside, I came up with a new story idea :D 

A short story idea anyway. At least it's a short story idea right now. It might turn into a longer idea depending on how the story grows, and whether it feels compressed or not. I'm not sure how the conflict will evolve. 

But I love the concept. 

It's probably been done a hundred times, and will probably be done a hundred more times, but anyway. It's simple. This "thing" (I'm not going to say exactly what) has the ability to detect a persons sins, and uses that ability to get the person to own up to it. To confess and beg for forgiveness. And because the creature is slightly sadistic, he convinces these sinners to take their own lives. Still damning their souls to hell.

And, yeah, with that concept, I don't know how the conflict is going to evolve.

Eh, I'll figure it out.

Anywho, it's nappy time for this little boy.

Gnite!

Ryan

Journal 7-3-13

Wiped.

I am wiped out ladies and gentlemen. It is ten till one while I'm writing this, and yes, my a double s is about to go to sleep. But, like I said in yesterday's post, I really do need to set these up to post before I go to bed. I find I get the most consistent views when I post consistently everyday, and at the same time everyday. It just seems to work out.

Anyway, today was another fun filled day. I had a doc appointment, took care of that, I got to fight with the telephone people for an hour, trying to get them to change the installation date for our services. They wouldn't let me make the changes as my name wasn't on the account. Mel got that taken care of though. Now, all I need to do is call them and get them to change the address of where they're coming to install the new services. We didn't have the correct address when we set the appointment up.

As for the rest of the day, it was spent up at the new place trying to get it ready. We put the first coat of paint up in the writing room. I meant to take pictures to post, but I'll get them up tomorrow. It looks good, and it will look better after we get the second coat up. Then we can take the painter's tape off, and you can see how the white stands out against the blue. It's going to look awesome.

On a similar note, I also kind of find myself in freak out mode, even though I know that I shouldn't be freaking out. We're supposed to be out of our current rental property by the 14th, and I wanted to get moved out by the 5th. It's not going to happen. Anyway, I've been upset, and generating this all by myself, because we haven't been able to get to move our stuff from one property to the other. And, that is the reason I took this week off, so that I would have time, and energy, to get stuff moved and the old trailer cleaned up as best we can.

So, yeah, I worked myself up into a tizzy, and now my headaches in ways it shouldn't (part of that might be the paint fumes though). And, I know everybody else is right not to worry. It's only going to take a couple of days to get our stuff moved over, and then maybe a good day or so to get the old property cleaned up. So, yes, I need to chill. I just find it hard to do.

I feel bad. Not because of the freak out or anything like that. I feel bad because I haven't been keeping up with my Things To Do list. I haven't been taking my walk, and I've been slacking in the hygiene department (gross I know). Really the only thing I've kept up with is my blog. And, that might be because it's kind of cathartic, a good sort of daily purge, in trying to keep my sanity. What little of it might be left.

And, I've been slacking off on my hubpages stuff as well. I've wanted to be able to do one a day, but I've done one and a quarter since Saturday. I know it's because I've had other things to do, and I can rationalize it like that, but there's this nagging little voice inside my head going on and on about it. "You're wasting time." "How are you ever going to make this a day job?" "No Hub, no money." Not exactly thoughts that well defined, but pretty damn close. And, there's another one too, one that goes on even when I'm getting the Hub's done, like last week. "When are you going to do some creative writing?" "You still have to finish Cold Lunch." "What about that short story you were going to submit?" "Or the one you haven't finished writing? The one about the gnome." "And, those two novellas you were going to do for HubPages, where are they?" "And, your DnD adventure. You're putting a group together, so don't you need to have something for them to do when they're ready to play?" (That one is really that well defined.) And, it goes on and on, forever and ever, and I don't know how to shut it up. If I do creative writing, something else suffers. The painting doesn't get done. Or the Hubs don't get done. Or I don't get enough sleep. These negative little voices are chitter chattering all the time, and I don't know how to please them. It's no wonder I'm in freak out mode. I can't get any peace! Lol.

Yeah, I don't know. I think I'm just going to go to sleep for now, and try to figure out something to do with those problems later.

Yes, sleep is a good idea.

Talk to you kids later.

Ryan

6-30-13

I'm about to fall flat on my face.

Official day one of my "vacation" and I spend the day running to Lowes and back, trying to get pluming, drywall, paint, and flooring materials and equipment. That crap, if it doesn't start out heavy, seems to have a way of gaining weight. And, I managed to find the three hardest to find items on the list.

And, once again it's another six to eight hours (don't feel like counting) since I started writing this. If I keep up at this rate, I might get one post done a week. Lol.

Anyway, it hurts to type. It hurts to breath, and look around. It just plain hurts. I didn't realize being a handy man was this hard on one's body. Yeah. Still, it's work that I enjoy. I'm able to disappear into it the way I can with writing, and when I step back away from it, pull back into reality, I'm able to see what sort of job I've done. And, it's good.

We've still got to lay down the floor in three rooms, tile in one of the bathrooms, and get the toilets put back together. And, I want to start moving stuff up today.

Anywho, I think I'm going to nap for a little bit longer. I am wiped out.

Ciao.

Ryan

Journal: 6-26-13

It is not my fault I didn't post yesterday.

Yes, it was my fault I didn't post the day before. At least, I think I didn't post the day before... I can't really remember right now.

Anyway, I cannot be held accountable.

The internet went out. I don't know why, but there was a statewide internet blackout for any consumer who used Frontier as their provider. I don't know why it happened. I would like to know why it happened. But, whatever the cause, I don't mind too much. When we got internet back again, it was moving at the actual full speed we're supposed to be getting (3 megs down, I think) instead of hovering around the middle marker.

But, yeah, I probably wouldn't have posted yesterday anyway. I had been busy packing, and moving, and helping lay the floor down in our new place, and I hadn't given much thought to posting anything at all. I'm not even sure if I put any new HubPages material up. And, what I just finished setting up to post wasn't even written today. It was an article I wrote almost four months ago, and just now remembered. So, yeah.

As for today's activities, I kept them pretty slim. I tore the carpet out of one of the bedrooms in the new place to set up for putting down the new floor. I moved some of the owners stuff out of the back room and onto the back porch, so that when we get the flooring done in there we can start moving our stuff in. That will be either tomorrow or Friday.

I'm hoping for tomorrow. I'm eager to get out of this hell hole and into a home where I can really feel at home. That's something I don't think I've felt since we moved out of the apartment in Athens...

And, I am going to publicly swear to each and every one of you, that I am going to be responsible for the upkeep of our new home. I will make sure it is clean. And, I will be the one doing the necessary and unpleasant yelling when something isn't done.

Just kidding.

But, I will be the one making the chore chart, and thus it will be my responsibility to see it filled out and completed.

Also, I'm going to have a new writing room SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, I think I'm going to set my desk up in the closet. Lol. i don't know why. It's a good sized closet, not a walk in, but it's certainly a place where I can disappear from the rest of the world. And, if I feel like pretending to be Doctor Who, it can be my Tardis :) And, now I have to paint the door blue.

That reminds me. I need to go and buy the paint for my room. Seeing as I'm special, and want it a different color than the rest of the house.

God, I can't wait.

Anywho, I'm going to cut this off now. I'll talk to you all laters.

Ryan

Journal: 6-24-13

So, I almost wrote fourteen instead of thirteen for the year, and I was like, why in gods name do I want it to be a year from now!?! I mean, I'd be okay with it, if at that point in time, I was a full-time freelance/blogger/novelist/writer thing. Yup. That would be okay with me.

But, there are a lot of changes that are going to occur in the next twelve months, hell, I literally won't be sitting where I'm sitting at right now this time next month.

We're moving, the first of the changes I suspect. And, within the coming month (by July 14th to be exact) we have to be in our new place. Which shouldn't be hard. It's literally on the same property we're on. It's just owned by a much nicer landlady. She's been renovating this thing for a while, since she got her modular home in back in December. And, the work is now at its apogee. just a few more things, and the house will be livable. There will be a few things that will have to be done after we move in, such as painting, and kitchen cabinets, and... I think those are the only two actually. But, yeah, it's pretty much done.

The other change I'm sensing on the wind is my job. I plan on, within the next couple of weeks, to have a better job, either in travel time, meaning less money spent on gas, or a job that pays more than what I make right now.

And, of course, I'm going to continue to try and figure out how to make money online with my own writing. HubPages is just the tip of the ice burg. I need to find out how it ticks, then I'll take that information to another site that's similar in nature. And, another. And, another. And, another. I might monetize here, and do things a wee bit differently. I don't want to get rid of these posts. I like the here's what I did today posts that I do. The little posts that make it feel like I journal. But, what I might do is monetize the blog, and begin posting things like my fiction and fanfiction and what not on here. I don't know yet, though.

If I did try to turn this into a money making machine, what would you all suggest?

• Keep the blog as is, just add ads to it.
• Make a new blog, one for fiction, fanfiction, and advertisements while leaving this one alone.
• Add what you want, and try to use the pages system to make navigating the site a little bit more easy.
• Talk to Kristen about getting my WordPress website going, then worry about monetizing that site. Or something like that.

Yeah, I really don't know. Its frustrating. And, I'm not very good at this.

I need to do some research on this type of career, and see how other people pull it off before I get myself in way too deep.

Anywho, good night.

Ryan

Journal 6-23-13

Hello, tots and taters, how are you all doing today?

Me?

I'm tired, and I really need to find my way to bed. Like now. And, seeing as it is 2am I will be making my way to bed quite shortly. I just thought I'd stop in and see how the day went.

My day was pretty damn good. Got to sleep in. Got to go over to Matt and Kayla's. There was good company, great food, and horseshoes. Matt and I stomped our lady friends. It's only the natural order of things. Then we came home, and I complained about not getting a Hub written. So, I wrote a Hub. And, I just published it. I'll be asleep by the time it hits facebook and twitter, but I'll be sure to post those links again when I get up. And, I need to post links to my fanfiction stuff.

And, I've been thinking. I'm posting my fanfiction on Deviant Art and Fanfiction.net, and I'm trying to generate traffic here. But, I typically use this as little more than a place to recount my daily adventures. So, I might just start posting those stories here. Maybe make my blog stand out a bit more, put it on more search engines and what not, and get some followers...

I don't know. My mind just stopped.

Anyway, I'm going to take a nap now. Talk at you kids later.

Ryan

Journal 6-22-13

New Stuff.

What new stuff I don't know. It really just seemed like a good thing to say. But, I will admit that my lack of posting isn't new, unfortunately. Nope. That's good old fashioned normal Ryan, I'm afraid.

Anyway, I'll move on to a different topic so that I can avoid getting beaten.

(Cowers behind chair, hiding from the wrath of Melanie. lol)

Yeah, I'm actually kind of hyper right now. Which is kind of bad. It's 1:26am and I need to lay down. I need to sleep. But, I don't want to. Tomorrow is my day off, and I want to spend it languishing in bed, not having to worry about anything. Except for the fact that, that plan wouldn't work. Nope, I'd have to get up at some point. We've got another room or two to clean in the spree, some more packing to do, and more praying that our new place is going to be ready by the 14th. As usual, Mel's optimistic about it, and I'm being rather cynical.

Beyond that though, I've gotten nothing done. Lol.

Not really though. I've just been focusing on different things. I'm trying to turn blogging, or something similar into a full time gig, and right now, I'm working on building my "portfolio" on HubPages (I've got more links that I need to add to my page), and so far I've done three more Hubs than what I had done already. Lol.

Yeah, it's not going very fast.

I have learned, however, that I'm not one of those people who can sit down and write an article in thirty minutes. For one, I don't think that's enough time, mainly because I don't write that fast. And, my style of writing has a tendency to run on the long side. Like I'm just a long winded writer.

I dunno.

I don't know what to post here half the time though. It's hard to sit down, and find something to talk about. Stories, god, stories are so easy to write, after a fashion. They flow so well some times, running like water out of a faucet. Other times its like wringing out a rock. And, that's what it's like to write these articles on HubPages. Wringing out a rock. I like writing, and I don't mind writing reviews, but it's not something I want to turn into a living.

But, so far, my review articles have brought the most views to my pages and what not. So, I'm going to go ahead with the things that seem to make more money. Which means writing more reviews. Writing more reviews, and pushing towards a high number of review articles, around a hundred or so I'd say, then try to focus on other more fun things to write about. Or rewrite those reviews and post similar articles on some of the other revenue sharing sites. I could even enable adds on here, but I don't know what that would turn out like. I don't know what would be advertised. And, I don't know if I want adds here. It seems like inviting the boss over for dinner, and then showing him your piles of dirty laundry.

This is kind of a space where I unwind. I'm not so sure I want to try and turn it into a revenue generating site. That would probably mean having to do things I don't want to do. And, this is the place where I do what I want. I don't know.

We'll see what's down the road, and if there's anywhere down there that makes a little bit of money.

God, I feel like a Hack.

And, with that, I bid you good night.

Ryan

Journal 6-18-13

Up since six.

So, today's been a pretty good day, all together. I'm tired as I sit here writing this, but it's midnight and I've been up since six. And, I'm going to get up again at six. So, I need to be getting to bed soon. But, I figured I'd come here and rant about life for a little while.

Anyway, trying to get my thoughts in order here.

The big thing I did today was pretty much nothing. I worked on one of my stories, one for my fantasy realm. And, I worked on my DnD adventure, also for my fantasy realm, but that's besides the point. And, then I got the mail, went to the gas station, got cigs, the whole wonderful load.

Yeah, my heads really out in the clouds today.

Anywho, my big thing is this. I read an article on HubPages by kksonakia and in the article she was talking about turing righting on HubPages into a full time job. And, her answer was simple, treat it like it's a full time job. Work at it 6-8 hours a day posting roughly 12 (she breaks it down in the article, saying it takes roughly 30 mins to write an article) articles, and do that for three months straight. No days off, no vacations, nothing in that three months, just hard core article posting. And, that would produce over a thousand articles. That seems like a pretty damn good platform to stand on. The problem I see with it is me.

I don't think that I could do it. (And, yes, that defeats me right  off the bat.) But, I've tried to push like that before, to produce 6000+ words a day, it wears you out, and I wouldn't have the luxury of having the whole day to do the articles. I would have to go to work, work eight hours a day, then come home and work another six, and that just sounds like murder. So, I really don't know.

I want to do it, don't get me wrong, that would be an awesome setup. The way she describes it. Write your ass off for 3 months posting a thousand plus articles, then do little more than half an hours work every day thereafter, and not have to worry about a job, part time or otherwise. Yeah, get payed a lot for as little work as possible. That, ladies and gents, is my dream job.

But, here's another thing. I'm going to have to modify what I'm writing about, a little anyway. I'll need to change my tactics to focus more on articles that hit SEOs, whatever the hell those are, and reviews and up to date stuff. That kind of puts me out of the field I like to write in. Meaning, instead of writing about writing, I'd be writing about well, everything else. To an extent I'm okay with that, but I joined HubPages because I wanted to get my writing out there, mainly my fiction, and my mildly eclectic writing about writing. I don't know guys.

I'm going to do it, maybe cutting it down to three hours a day and stretching it out over six months instead of three, and trying to focus on the types of articles I want to write. I dunno. I guess my goal for tomorrow is six Hubs. Lol. We'll see if that happens or not. Lol.

Ryan

Admission: 6-16-13

Being Honest

So, being honest, I didn't write a post yesterday. In fact, in the last three or four days I've only written one post. I dislike the fact, but I'm not going to complain about it now. There's no reason too.

Anyway, my brain has been scrambled, and I find it almost completely impossible to focus on one thing at a time. Like my DnD adventure. I've got the story hook, seeds, and the first encounter written. Now, trying to work on the second encounter I draw a total blank. I want to work on this. I want to play Dungeons and Dragons sometime in the next week or two. Get the game started at the very least. Bah. I don't know.

And, the things that have been distracting me are other things I love. I've got three story ideas that are demanding attention. And, they're based off of my favorite moments in DnD. (I think I'm going to do a HubPages article on those moments.)

One is in the planning stages; I'm trying to get to know the characters and the story, fleshing it out, and working it out in my mind before I try to put pen to paper, even to start the Snowflake outline.

The second is a short story. Like most of my short stories it's a seat of the pants story, I'm just letting it take me where the story wants to go. No doubt I'll give it a second draft, and then try to get it published in one magazine or another.

The third is a novella based on a game played with an old friend. I still have to ask permission to use a lot of the plot elements, but I think he'll say yes. And, I think this is going to be one of the best damn stories I've ever written. At the moment it is also a seat of the pants story, letting it take me where it wants, with a vague idea of where it's going. I'll definitely outline it for the second draft, and that's if not having an outline doesn't drive me insane before I get to the end of the first draft.

There was something else I wanted to mention, but I can't remember what it was. Guess it was just a brain fart.

Anywho, I've got to get ready for work, so that's it for the day. Later tots and taters.

Ryan

PS: I meant to bemoan my lack of article writing and lack of work on Cold Lunch, but I don't feel much like complaining right now. So, I'll leave it at that.

Journal 6-14-13

Morning ladies and gents. I don't have long, I'm writing this after my bed time so I'll just say a few things, and we'll get on with our day.

First, I've missed a day or two, I know, but I'm going to blame work for it. I've been scheduled earlier shifts than I'm used too, and (though Mel tries her best to off set this) I wind up not going to sleep when I should. It's my own personal stubbornness as much as it I insomnia. So, when I get home I'm exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally (I work at McDs with a social anxiety disorder, I'm an emotional wreck everyday father work). So, I don't want to do anything.

And, on that note, let's talk about productivity. It's way down. I was talking to my doc on Weds, and I set a productivity oal of seven hubpages articles, and seven scenes on Cold Lunch. Well, its Friday, and I should have what, six out of seven articles done? Yeah. I've got two. So, tomorrow, if I want to hit my goal of seven articles, then I'll need to write five of them. Plus one scene for Cold Lunch, and I hardly doubt that happening.

And,I didn't post my fanfiction yesterday. I honestly forgot about doing it until I sat down to write this. And, I'm laying in bed typing this on my iPad, and I'm not getting out of bed for the sake of fanfiction. Also, I didn't type and post the article I was supposed to put up on hubpages today. That was laziness.

Anywho, the wife has caught me conscious, so I'm off to dreamland, I'll fill you in on the rest of the day, tomorrow sometime.

Admission: 6-13-13

So, I completely forgot to write a blog post last night. I was so hyped up that I was being productive (I got an article and a half done) that the thought of posting went right out the side of my head.

Anyway, I got an article and a half written yesterday. I'm going to finish that half article today, and I'm going to do my best to write another two articles. And, I probably won't be going for my walk today. It's been pissing cats and dogs here on and off today, and supposedly there's supposed to be a derecho on the way. I don't even know how to pronounce that word. Anywho, that's my reasoning for not going on my walk.

As for what else I did yesterday. There wasn't much. I went to my doc's appointment, had a good chat with her, and came back home.

I did turn in two of my applications. But, I couldn't find the printer cable to get my resume printed off. I was going to staple that to the application. Try and make myself look a little better. I'll do it for the other three though, if I can find the damn cord. I might even take the resume into the locations I already turned the apps in. It still might make me look better than other applicants. And, I don't even know if they're hiring. I hope they are. I want out of McDonalds hard core.

And, that was yesterday in a nutshell. So, now, I'm considering a nap, after I get my article done.

Laters,

Ryan

6-7-13

Well…

So, I realized I completely forgot to do a post yesterday. :(

Yeah, it sucks, but, it’s not the end of the world. So, much as I put emphasis on my list of things to do, I still did my hygiene thing yesterday and took my walk, so I missed one out of three. Today, I tried harder. And, I won. I got all three done. Well, in the process of getting it done.

I learned something about myself yesterday. Setting the scene, I was at work and the guys were making your mother jokes. Not the your momma’s so fat jokes, but the ones that end in sexual innuendoes or the ones that start with sexual innuendoes and end in your mother. Either way, they were flying around like flies on a corpse, and all of them were directed at this one particular employee.

Now, normally I don’t give a shit about those jokes or the jibes they throw at one another. But, this employee’s mother had died two weeks ago… Yeah, zero g**d*** respect for the dead. It got under my skin, wrapped itself around my spine, and drove itself like a knife into my brain. I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to take each one of them and grind their faces into the grill until they begged the dead for forgiveness.

Yeah, that makes me sound like a completely sane person.

But, can you understand where I’m coming from. It wasn’t my mother they were talking about, but if it was I’d be in jail right now, probably for multiple counts of assault and battery, malicious wounding, and attempted murder. That’s how much it bothered me. And, I think what made it worse was the employee whose mom died, yeah, he was making the same f***ing jokes. I didn’t realize I could get that bad.

Anyway, moving on, today was great! Mel and I went up to Charleston for a bit, hung out in Books-a-Million and ate at Olive Garden. So, yeah, all of you can be jealous. Jealous, jealous, jealous.

Damn.

I’m hungry now.

Thinking about Olive Garden too much.

Anywho, I guess I’m going to get something to eat, and check out for the night.

Laters.

Ryan

PS: Don’t forget to check out HubPages, deviantArt (here and here and here too), and FF.net

Laters.

Journal 6-4-13

Bam. Bam. Bam.

Ladies and gentlemen, I managed to do all of the items on my things to do list, one right after the other today. This makes me feel accomplished.

Other than that, today was uneventful and kind of shitty at the same time. Still on an emotional rollercoaster I suppose.

Basically, I want to go to the beach, and once again, we can’t afford to go to the beach.

It really shouldn’t be a surprise to me, as I don’t have a job that makes any kind of money at all, let alone one that gives paid vacations. So, yeah, hanging the whole zero trips to the beach thing on my head. I usually do, and if I’d made other choices, realized things sooner, and got my shit straight, then we wouldn’t be in this position. We wouldn’t have been in this position ever, and we could have been going to the beach all this time.

Paid vacations…

Good paychecks…

I’m just a wonderful ball of happy today, aren’t I?

Anyway, I’m not sure I’ve got anything positive to talk about at all today…

I have been helping with the trailer that we’re going to move into, and I got to rip carpet up today. Lol. It’s a good stress reliever. Giving one hard yank after the other, and it’s a good thing to do to keep your mind busy instead of letting it wander. I’ll probably be doing something similar tomorrow. Honestly, I like it; I’d rather be doing this and working towards getting our new place ready, then sitting in the dark feeling sorry for myself. It’s healthier.

As for other fun things: I want to throw my computer through a window. The overheating issues have returned, and I can’t get more than ten or fifteen minutes of game play out of it before it goes down. I need to get one of those cans of air, but I really don’t feel like driving to Walmart tonight.

And, there’s my story. My super blockbuster Star Trek story, I still haven’t thought of anything (other than a few small bits, here and there) but I have no idea if it will do any good at all when trying to introduce Star Trek to a new audience.

Blah.

Also, I don’t know why I’m worried about getting the Star Trek script/story written. I haven’t done anything at all to finish Cold Lunch. Seriously, it’s been what, three weeks since I posted PJ# 40. I should have had the third quarter finished by now. And, I should be about ready to start on the fourth. Oh good lord, I hate this crap.

Anywho, I’m going to stop whining, and go and do something productive. Maybe.

Ryan

PS: I made a page to keep my HubPages links on. Check it out, and check out my Hubs :) There isn’t nearly as much whining there as there is here. Lol.

Journal 5-30-13

Exciting…

Yeah, today wasn’t. Work sucked, even though I was only there for four hours. A corporate guy came in to inspect the store, so, the managers thought it would be a good idea to have every F**K*NG employee work. It was cramped, and I got claustrophobic. I wigged, and I tried to focus on my job, but everything around me was overloading me. The result, I got yelled at a couple of times.

Anyway, after the guy left, the managers were like “Shit, we’re not making enough money to support the people we have on the clock.” So, they sent half of us home. I was one of those people.

And, so far as I know, I didn’t get written up, and I still have a job. We’ll keep our fingers crossed on that one.

Other than that, I did get my Hub typed and posted. If you didn’t catch the link on my Facebook Page (which you should like if you haven’t already), I’ve got it for ya right now. A Review of Star Trek Online: Legacy of Romulus. It’s a simple title that says exactly what it’s about. Lol. I don’t know if I could make it any clearer than that.

In other news, I have the next Hub written, the one I plan on posting tomorrow, I just don’t have it typed yet. So, it might get typed, and it might not. Really pushing for the first option.

And, I’ve got one major thing I need to do. Things to do, you know, my walk, hygiene, and blogging, well I need to get better at controlling the way I go about it. I want it to work like this: take a walk, get back and deal with hygiene, write my blog and go on my marry way with the rest of the day. Doesn’t happen like that. Usually what happens is I come home from my walk, and I see my chair as soon as I get in the door. It’s a walmart bought chair, so it’s not exactly what I would call comfortable, but it is inviting. And, I’ll give in to the temptation of the chair and set down. And, from there I’ll get my computer. Then I’ll play STO and it will be 11 or 12 before I get in the shower and get this written. I’ve got to beat the temptation of the chair.

Well, we’ll see how that works out in the next few days.

I wish I had some other exciting news to give, but I really don’t. I worked on job applications for banks, got in touch with my references, and filled out the rest of my resume. Now, I just need to turn said applications in, and collect a few more, and a few more, and just get the bases covered real good. Maybe I’ll even work up a skills based resume, one that focuses on my creativity, and throw it up on monster, let everybody in a hundred or so mile radius know that I’m looking for creative work. Something like that any way.

Then there are other options. But, I’m about to start typing with my forehead, and you won’t be able to make much sense out of that.

Ciao.

Ryan