Journal Excerpt 5-3-14

I don't normally do this, and it's not something that's going to become a habit, it just so happens that I had a really bright moment in my journal the other day. It was a moment that I thought was deep and profound, but I'm not sure if it will work that way in the light of day.

Anywho, here we go:

“I'm exhausted. I want to go to sleep. I want to go home. I want, I want, I want... I irritate myself sometimes. And, ya know, I really must not want to get ahead in life. If I did I believe I'd be busting my ass a little bit harder to get Cold Lunch written.”

(This section obviously isn't the deep profound moment. It's the way I start out a journal entry on a typical work day. And, yes, I do talk to myself in my journal... or something to that effect.)

“Why can't this shit be easy?”

“Well, writing is easy for you. You're a naturally creative person who can pretty much turn it on and off like a light switch.”

“I wouldn't go that far with it...”

“I would. There's proof on your f***ing computer that you can do this shit and you're sitting here whining about it. All you need to do to get this novel done is put some effort into it. If you spend half the time writing that you spend whining you'd have the book finished.”

“I'm not going to beat up on ya for the past. (Same speaker, new paragraph.) You didn't do this or that, yadda yadda yadda. You can't go back and change that. The only thing you can do now is change the future. You an only work with the here and now. The past is just that, the past, it's passed you by, it's gone, quit trying to go back to it. I know you're thinking a “but”... Don't. Hit that bitch with a shovel right now, and focus on the future. Now, say it with me:

“The past is the past. It's done and gone and I can't change it. The only thing I can do is live in the here and now. The only thing I can do is keep this shovel with me, and keep carrying on. Keep calm and carry on. And, always remember: Bitches love shovels.”

And, yeah, I felt that was kind of deep. At least I think it was for me. Anywho, that's all from me.

Later kids.

Ryan

5-6-14

Hydra

Hail Hydra!!

“Whenever you cut one head off, two will grow in it's place.”

Yeah, I've got Marvel on the mind right now, and Hydra is the opposing force to the S.H.I.E.L.D. agency in the Marvel universe. Certain entertaining things have happened to that organization in the recent movies that won't be mentioned here, but I find them entertaining. And, I haven't even seen said movies.

I should.

Meh, maybe later.

Anywho, a Hydra is a sort of giant lizard from Greek mythology. They have multiple heads, usually three at the very least, and when one of those heads is hacked off two more will grow in its lace. Hence the quote above. There are really only two ways to kill a Hydra. You can cut off the heads and apply an intense flame to the stump to cauterize the wound and prevent regeneration. Then you can also crush the Hydra, and I believe Hercules beat the Hydra by doing just that. He dropped a mountain on the monster (at least he did in the Disney movie), and powdered every bone in its body.

There have been other depictions of the Hydra as well. They're often presented as villainous creatures in fantasy literature and role playing games. In those depictions they're often closely related to dragons. Some Hydra can breath fire, while others exhale ice, but mostly I believe they just bite things.

“Get up on the Hydra's back!” or so says Phil (Philoctetes, Hercules's personal trainer in the Disney movie) during his little role in Kingdom Hearts II and I would vote him the most irritating characters in the game.

Why?

He repeats that damn quote about five thousand times during the fight with the Hydra. It's enough to drive a person insane. Extremely insane. Like hear it in your sleep insane.

And, now I feel as though I've run out of things to say. I could probably roll back over to the D&D thing and discuss how I could integrate the Hydra into my game. But, right now I've not done a lot of work which happens to be about zombies and vampires and takes place in modern day and is thus pretty far away from Greek mythology and the Hydra.

So, I'm out peeps!

Ryan

4-26-14

Yarn

So, earlier today, I sat down to write my blog post. It was a post about yarn. Well, it was supposed to be a post about yarn. What it turned into is not something I want to go through again. So, we’ll go back to the original topic.

Yarn. What is it?

Google defines Yarn in two ways. First it says that yarn is a spun thread that is used in knitting, weaving, or sewing. And, second it describes yarn as a long or rambling implausible story. I agree with both statements.

In a way, I’ve been obsessed with yarn for the last few years. While I was still in college, (taking weaving classes at the time, I believe) I came up with the idea of working with yarn professionally. Basically running my own little internet store, where people could come and commission different types of yarn based products (so long as they didn’t involve knitting) and I would satisfy that commission to the best of my ability. I’m actually rather good at crocheting, and I can weave some… though it’s been a long time. And, it’s still something I think about doing.

Just a fun little on the side business where I make blue and black scarves for Mingo Central’s football games for just a tiny bit of profit. Or do a series of blankets/afghans/something big and sell them on ebay or what not. But, I’ve never done that. I think it’s because I’m not that dedicated to the idea of the yarn business. It’s just not something I see putting my whole life into.

But, in a way it is.

I want to write stories for a living. I want to look into my dreams and show the people the magic that hides right behind the clouds on the bright sunshiny day. I want to show them the terror in the bent broken tree with its shadow crawling across the courtyard… getting ever closer to your shoe… I wonder what would happen… (I just got chills. lol) And, now I want to keep going with that idea. Lol.

I want to write yarns. I want my stories, as improbable as they might be, I want to see them spread far and wide. I do want to dedicate my life to yarn. And, I guess today is as good a day as any to do it.

For the last 8 years my New Year’s Resolution has been the same thing. I want to get a book published. I want to get a book published. I want to get a book published. I’m going to stop wanting this year. I’m going to stop failing at that one little resolution. I’m going to be a published author by the end of 2014 if it kills me. I might not be making my money living off of what I write, but I’ll be damned if I’m not going to supplement my income in just that fashion.

And, this still isn’t the fun, lighthearted post I wanted it to be. It’s serious, and it’s one of those breaking point moments. They’ve come this far and no farther, and all that hubbub. (I think that’s from Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers… it might also be 300… not sure which.) The point I’m trying to make though, is that I am admitting I have a problem. I am not a published author. I want to be a published author. And, today is the day where I finally dedicate myself towards pushing for that goal. Today I shall stand in front of the great beast and cry YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!

I hope some of Mel’s students are reading this. Because that’s exactly what she says about you :P Lol. Just kidding. She loves ya just as much as she loves me… and that’s saying something because I go out of my way to annoy the crap out of her.

My brain got lost somewhere in there. But, yes. This is a public declaration of my goals. My goal for the year of 2014, become a published author. I would like to say that’s my goal for the next three months, but I think it’s going to take a wee bit longer than that to get my book ready to go. So, I’ll start work on it as soon as I get off work tomorrow, and you’ll get a daily update of when it’s going to be ready. J

And… now I have to remind you that I’m also writing a D&D adventure, and that might take some precedence, since the group expects me to have new stuff for them to do every week. But, I will dedicate some of my time to my novel. I promise.

On that note, I’m going to say anywho, because I don’t think I used it anywhere else in the post, and I’m going to let you all go for the day.

Later kids.

Ryan

1-25-14

Journal 7-21-13

Ladies and gentlemen...

It has happened! 

I'm finally working on Cold Lunch again! It's about damn time, huh? Lol.

And now I can't think of anything to write about. Must of done too much work already. Lol.

Anyway, not too much has changed. The house is still a work in progress. And, I still can't think of anything to write about.

Soooo, yeah. I'm going to check out for the night.

Sorry I crapped out today. Lol.

Ryan

Journal 7-3-13

Wiped.

I am wiped out ladies and gentlemen. It is ten till one while I'm writing this, and yes, my a double s is about to go to sleep. But, like I said in yesterday's post, I really do need to set these up to post before I go to bed. I find I get the most consistent views when I post consistently everyday, and at the same time everyday. It just seems to work out.

Anyway, today was another fun filled day. I had a doc appointment, took care of that, I got to fight with the telephone people for an hour, trying to get them to change the installation date for our services. They wouldn't let me make the changes as my name wasn't on the account. Mel got that taken care of though. Now, all I need to do is call them and get them to change the address of where they're coming to install the new services. We didn't have the correct address when we set the appointment up.

As for the rest of the day, it was spent up at the new place trying to get it ready. We put the first coat of paint up in the writing room. I meant to take pictures to post, but I'll get them up tomorrow. It looks good, and it will look better after we get the second coat up. Then we can take the painter's tape off, and you can see how the white stands out against the blue. It's going to look awesome.

On a similar note, I also kind of find myself in freak out mode, even though I know that I shouldn't be freaking out. We're supposed to be out of our current rental property by the 14th, and I wanted to get moved out by the 5th. It's not going to happen. Anyway, I've been upset, and generating this all by myself, because we haven't been able to get to move our stuff from one property to the other. And, that is the reason I took this week off, so that I would have time, and energy, to get stuff moved and the old trailer cleaned up as best we can.

So, yeah, I worked myself up into a tizzy, and now my headaches in ways it shouldn't (part of that might be the paint fumes though). And, I know everybody else is right not to worry. It's only going to take a couple of days to get our stuff moved over, and then maybe a good day or so to get the old property cleaned up. So, yes, I need to chill. I just find it hard to do.

I feel bad. Not because of the freak out or anything like that. I feel bad because I haven't been keeping up with my Things To Do list. I haven't been taking my walk, and I've been slacking in the hygiene department (gross I know). Really the only thing I've kept up with is my blog. And, that might be because it's kind of cathartic, a good sort of daily purge, in trying to keep my sanity. What little of it might be left.

And, I've been slacking off on my hubpages stuff as well. I've wanted to be able to do one a day, but I've done one and a quarter since Saturday. I know it's because I've had other things to do, and I can rationalize it like that, but there's this nagging little voice inside my head going on and on about it. "You're wasting time." "How are you ever going to make this a day job?" "No Hub, no money." Not exactly thoughts that well defined, but pretty damn close. And, there's another one too, one that goes on even when I'm getting the Hub's done, like last week. "When are you going to do some creative writing?" "You still have to finish Cold Lunch." "What about that short story you were going to submit?" "Or the one you haven't finished writing? The one about the gnome." "And, those two novellas you were going to do for HubPages, where are they?" "And, your DnD adventure. You're putting a group together, so don't you need to have something for them to do when they're ready to play?" (That one is really that well defined.) And, it goes on and on, forever and ever, and I don't know how to shut it up. If I do creative writing, something else suffers. The painting doesn't get done. Or the Hubs don't get done. Or I don't get enough sleep. These negative little voices are chitter chattering all the time, and I don't know how to please them. It's no wonder I'm in freak out mode. I can't get any peace! Lol.

Yeah, I don't know. I think I'm just going to go to sleep for now, and try to figure out something to do with those problems later.

Yes, sleep is a good idea.

Talk to you kids later.

Ryan

Journal 5-31-13

I did it!

I finally managed to actually do it!

And, you’re a perv…

Anyway, I managed to do my list of things to do one right after the other. I just took my walk, did my hygiene duties, and now I’m sitting at my computer writing my blog post. I feel accomplished.

I just don’t know what to talk about now. I’ve been giving you “a day in the life of” sort of posts since I came back from the beyond. My views jumped sky high (for me anyway) and now they’ve dropped back down to 15 or 16 a day.

What happened?

Do I not post enough funny pictures about cats?

Or do I bitch too much?

I probably bitch too much. I’m good at that.

I am going to think of an interesting topic though. Right now… it’s going to be a good one… and all I can think of is the dude who ate the homeless guy’s face down in Florida. I’m not sure if that’s an interesting topic anymore or not. I think it’s creepy as hell, but it’s just one of those insane things that people do. There was another story that came out around the same time as the “face eater” and it was a guy who was cutting open his stomach for some reason, and when the police tried to help him, he started throwing his intestines at the cops. What the hell?

I don’t know.

What goes through these people’s minds? Do they plan this shit? Or is it completely random? And, if it’s random, what breaks in the brain to make it happen? And, I think we see those sort of issues on a small scale each and every day. I don’t mean people who are going to eat your face, or throw intestines at you, but what about the people who cut and burn themselves? Is the pain a release? A cry for help? What makes you want to do such a thing?

I had an experience similar to that before. I’ve got a huge burn on my hand that I tell everyone is because I touched my hand to a hot engine block. But, it’s not an accidental burn. It was a cigarette, one that was applied time and time and time again until there was no way to feel the pain I was inflicting. I can tell you now, I don’t know why I didn’t. It was like I wasn’t me, and I was just watching it happen, like it was on television.

Is that what happens when somebody cuts, or burns? Do they watch themselves do it from the outside, like they’re watching some person, some other, destroy their skin and send pain travelling up and down their arm? Is that a release?

I didn’t feel any sort of release after my burn. I looked at my hand and knew it should hurt, but I didn’t feel anything. I didn’t gain anything from the situation except for a scar I lie about. And, now, the scar breeds empty curiosity. I look at it and think; why did I do that? Was there a reason? Was there ever a reason? I don’t know the answers to those questions.

And, that became a really serious topic without me meaning too. I’m sorry about that.

Anywho, I am currently working on typing my next Hub, so the link will be on my Facebook page tomorrow at some point. If twitterfeed doesn’t do it automatically, then I’ll go in and post it by hand. Also on the writing front, I’ve got most of another article written :) I still haven’t worked on Cold Lunch. I think I’m avoiding it. I dunno.

That’s all for today. I shall talk to you cats later.

Ryan

Journal 5-27-13

Happy Birthday Erik, ya old fart.

Other than that, I guess I could go over a little of what went on today.

I worked. It sucked. But, not as bad as most days. Most days it’s kind of horrid.

On a happier note, I finished the first quarter of The Black Hole’s Teeth, and starting this Friday I shall resume publishing the chapters. You’ll be able to find them on ff.net and on devArt. This week also marks the end of In the Morning Light. The Epilogue comes out on Friday, and I expect that will be an exciting day for fanfictioners. As for posting In the Morning Light on devArt, it’s going to go the same way it has been. Me, putting each chapter up as the weeks roll on.

I also got some of The Black Hole’s Teeth typed today. Not much, a chapter and a half, but better than nothing if I am not mistaken.

As for other things, I set up a tentative publishing schedule for some Hubs. And, my fingers need to get moving, because it starts this week. Lol.

I wanted to get to Cold Lunch today, but I obviously didn’t want to get to it enough. I don’t want to force it, but I’m going to have too. I’m going to have to get past this…this whatever it is. Fear of one thing or another. I need to get away from that. I need to find the zen in my mind, that will take me to the completion of the novel, and get it onto the market.

Now, I’m going to finish up things to do by taking care of the hygiene thing, and getting the eff into bed.

Good night, ladies and gentlemen.

Ryan

Journal 5-19-13

Day Two…

Day Two of the “Things To Do…” Project, and already our valiant captain has realized one thing that’s going to need some work.

This whole one right after the other thing.

Yeah, I took my walk at seven, and I didn’t get in the shower until almost midnight… that sure is one right after the other. Lol.

Anywho, today was marginally better than yesterday. I didn’t have a freak out working the table today, thought I was going too since new guy was at work today. But, it was cool. What did happen though, was all about mood swings.

You know how you can have a mood swing that is set off by the simplest thing. Like the sound of someone’s voice…

Well, I was in a really good mood this morning…

I’m going to leave it at that because what I have to say is not nice and would get vulgar in word choice. So, let’s just leave it at, there’s a kid at work that annoys me to the point where I can have a bad mood swing. One that lasted for two hours… and got worse every time he opened his mouth… I wanted to get violent…

And, yeah…

Anywho, let’s talk about writing. I got my Hub finished, and I should be posting it later today. I might type it, and wait a couple of days to post it. No real reason.

I also got started in the next scene on The Black Hole’s Teeth. Wasn’t much though, just a half a page really, while I was waiting for my sleep meds to kick in last night.

As for Cold Lunch, I’m starting to think I’m avoiding it, and for the life of me I can’t figure out why. I could think of some reasons though, if you wanted me to go into detail. Like maybe I think it’s safer to write the Hubs and fanfiction because I don’t believe my family’s welfare depends on it, and I can delude myself into believing that those things are going to help me when I do finally get Cold Lunch published… one day.

Yeah, negative thoughts again. Though, the Hubs, the blog, the fanfiction, all of that will help me when it comes time to get published, mainly because I’m working on building an audience through those sites, and I’ll use those sites as advertising space when it comes to getting my work into the hands of my audience.

As for advertising, I’ve also gone live-ish on Hub pages. I sat down and got all the crap set up so I could get paid through ad sharing and different programs about this and that. So, chances are, I’ll be including links to eBay and Amazon in my posts. You are more than welcome to click on these, and buy lots of items while you’re there. :D

And, I thought about activating Google Adsense here on Blogger, but I really don’t want to try and shove that much down anybody’s throat. Plus with the wide array of crap I write about here, they’d never know what sort of ads to put up. Lol.

To cut this short, I could go on with these little paragraphs about nothing for the rest of the night. But, I think I’m going to do some typing and go to bed. That will be the best idea.

Gnite.

Ryan

Journal 5-17-13

I didn’t…

I didn’t work on Cold Lunch today… It’s nobody’s fault but my own, and I’ll just have to do better tomorrow.

Anyway, what I did get done. I just posted Chapter 27 on In the Morning Light on FF.net, if you want to take a look. And, I posted Chapter 3 of the same story on DeviantArt. Yes, I’m posting them in both places. Trying to get twice the exposure or something like that. Lol.

I also meant to get some of the Raising Kain: Diseased God sample chapters up on DevArt for you to sink your teeth into. But, I forgot. Well, I mean I remembered. But, I’ve got like five/ten minutes to get this blog post written before my wife yanks my arm off and beats me to death with it. I really should be in bed you see.

So, in the spirit of keeping this short and sweet, I wrote a scene for The Black Hole’s Teeth. I have two scenes I need to type for the story. And, I’m not sure what else.

I’ve gotten a notebook specifically for my bitch fits. I keep it in the car, so I can lay into it while I’m at work. And, it will probably also wind up serving as a surrogate notebook when I forget my Hub notebook, or ff notebook, or insert whatever notebook in here. While I’m at work or in the car. I am going to have to get over the whole dislike of tearing paper out of notebooks, since I’m going to be tearing those pages out when I use it as a stand in for other notebooks.

I’m not sure if I’m running on all cylinders right now.

Joy.

I plan on going to see STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS in the next two days. Either tomorrow, or Sunday. And, I will go alone if I have to. For me, this is the must see movie of the year.

Other than that, I’m not sure if I’ve got anything else to say.

So…

Goodnight.

Ryan

PS: I was going to say something… but I forgot what it was.

Cold Lunch Project Journal #40

The Undead Novel.

Alright kids, guess what!

Cold Lunch is back. And, it’s here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and it’s all out of bubble gum.

I’ve always wanted to use that line.

Anyway, as you can see, I’ve finally gotten my head on straight enough to get back to work on Cold Lunch. Now, I’m not working on the third quarter yet, simply meaning I haven’t started writing anything in it yet, but I am going through the second quarter and doing line edits and what not. And, though I said otherwise yesterday, I believe I’m going to put it on the market when I finish with this draft. I need to get some work out to the world at large.

I’ve got a third-ish of the quarter edited, and now it’s pretty much just a waiting game until I get to the end of the quarter. It’ll be a couple of days. I got up to Chapter 30, and the quarter covers Chapters 24-46, so I didn’t quite hit the third of the way mark. Now that I realize that, I think I’m going to go back and do two more Chapters. That will get me through to the third. Lol.

On another, probably less interesting note, I’ve not been walking this week. I got injured at work last Friday (one of the managers tried to drop a box on my head -.-), and was told to take it easy. Plus the walking was making my hip hurt worse. So, my streak is broken, but only for now. Starting Saturday, I’m back on the path, and I’m going to add two other things as well. Well, I’m going to try and add two other things. One of them is a little more personal than I’m willing to share here :P And, the other is this!

That’s right guys and girls. I’m going to try and make the blog a daily thing once again. It should be easy. Do the walk, the blog post, and my other task, one right after the other, and it will be just like walking out the door. Yay new habits. Lol.

Other than that, I think my new “hiatus” project is going to be a Star Trek fanfiction. Not the one I’m talking about over on HubPages. Nah, this one is The Black Hole’s Teeth, and as you can see from the fanfiction link, I’ve already published a few chapters.  So, if you like Star Trek, or if you like Star Wars, or if you like to see it when Star Trek kicks Star Wars’ ass, or maybe if you just like reading what I like, then you should stop by and see what’s up. Then follow it. Lol. (As a side note, like In the Morning Light, I’ll be posting this on deviatnArt as well. I’ll throw those links, and the FF.net links up on facebook, and my facebook page… which you should like if you haven’t already.)

Another thing I’m going to do is post some sample chapters on deviantArt. Probably just the first few chapters of each of the things I’ve written, and have typed so far. Well, maybe not the beginning chapters of all of them. Some of those chapters I really don’t like, and want to hide from the very face of the planet.

And, one final project that I’d like to talk about. I plan on taking the Star Trek fanfiction I’m writing, both the one mentioned above and the one mentioned on HubPages, and turning them into playable missions on Star Trek Online. So, if you’re a big nerd, come and play online with me :)

Ryan

PS: I also want to start my little audio book thing on Youtube soon. Not sure when that will happen. I guess you’ll just have to wait until the motivation hits me.

Peace out.

Journal 5-1-13

I should be in bed right now.

I know that you’re probably sitting in a sun filled kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee, while you’re wrapped up in your favorite white fluffy robe. (Yeah, you wish. :) )  But, anyway, you’re reading this long after I sat down to write it. And, it seems that I should be in bed, because I can’t seem to get what I’m thinking through my fingers and into the computer. The connections just aren’t being made.

Anyway, I don’t remember if I’ve posted recently (I think the last time I did was when I started walking), and thus you guys probably don’t know the big news. I finished In the Morning Light. I’ve said that at least twelve times since I finished typing it two days ago. There are still about five posts left I think. Maybe four. I dunno. Anyway, there have also been some big changes since then. (Not really, but I like pretending.)

I made a facebook page for myself. I made a profile for my cat, Button. And, I made a community page setting her up as The Dark One. Another fallen angel, Lucifer’s second actually, who went to the Greek Underworld, whipped the shit out of Hades, and took over Tartarus, The Infernal Prison. Now, she’s disguised herself as a calico kitten, and is here to claim as many souls for her prison and her army. She intends to add to her territory. She wants Hell. And, if you know anything about my cat, you probably suspect that I’m telling the truth here.

I don’t know if I told you, but I now have a HubPages account as well. This is me trying to generate a little money from my writing, so you will find essays, and short shorts, and things that actually try to improve a person’s ability to write. You know, stuff that I wouldn’t post here; mainly because it would make sense to post those sorts of things here. Meh.

Then there’s DeviantArt. I created a profile there a while ago, and only recently have I started to use it. Tonight in fact. I posted a little photo tour of my writing room. I also realized that I could literally do everything else that I’m doing on devArt. In fact, I could repeat myself on devArt, but I don’t believe I’m going to do that. I might do it with the fanfiction, but that’s about it.

I also have a channel on youtube that I’ve decided to start using. I think I’m going to do that tomorrow. Haven’t decided what I’m going to do with it though. I’m thinking, probably read some of my short stories, maybe some of the trunk novels, and try to sell them as mp3s. Yeah, I’m kind of whoring myself out.

I’m also thinking about starting my own business, but I’m not sure how that one will go. I’ll tell you more about it the next time I post.

I had more to mention, but I really can’t remember what it was.

Oh, right, tomorrow I’ll be printing out the second quarter of Cold Lunch and doing the line editing on it. That should only take a couple of days, then I’ll be back to work on it. Slugging my way through the third quarter. I’ve been away from it for too long.

As one final note… I’m sexy and I know it.

Ryan

Cold Lunch progress journal #40

I gotta quit being so lazy about doing this.

Fun title, and it speaks the truth. I need to develop some discipline in my life. I have enough to sit down and actually write a novel, but I can’t remember to write a five hundred word blog post every day? Yeah, that’s retarded.

I don’t know, I’m sure I could make up excuses for the next two or three hours about why I don’t do it, but that time needs to be used for sleep, and I could just as easily write the blog post. And, writing the blog post would take about three times less time than it would to bitch about it.

And, as dumb as it sounds, I really won’t remember this tomorrow, and I’ll bitch about not getting things done the way I want them to be done. Still not realizing it takes less time to do it, than it does to bitch about it.

A good example about that is writing my novel. I’ll sit down and look at how many scenes I have left before I finish, and then I’ll do the math on how long it would take me to get it done if I did such and such number of Chapters a day. Then, I’ll bitch about how long that is, and how not having the novel finished is impeding me making money on the novel because it’s not out on the market. Then I’ll bitch about not having done it sooner.

And, God, just looking at this makes me angry. It’s so simple, and I don’t know why I can’t get that through my head. It’s just like the mahjong app I have on my iPad…

And, now it’s time for a great example. This blog post for instance. I meant to have it ready to post before I went to bed last night, and that didn’t happen. Although I have to admit it was almost one in the morning, and I had to get up for work at six. But, still, I should have had it done earlier. Much earlier.

Anywho, I’m going to check out and get my writing for the day done.

Peace.

Ryan

Stats:

                Snowflake Completion: Done

                Pages Written Today: 8

                Pages Written Total: 131

                Pages Typed Today: 13

                Pages Typed Total: 230

                Word Count Today: 3,857

                Word Count Total: 63,526

I think I’m going to play with the math on this one too. I’ve written 43 Chapters, and my estimation of those Chapters was roughly 1200 words. The actual average is 1477 words. If I do the math with that estimation the next half of the book would be 67,942. Adding those two totals together my book will be 131,468 words long. This is going to steam roll my goal of 110,000 words. And it will keep Cold Lunch as the longest book I’ve written to date

Cold Lunch project journal #39

Playing Catch Up.

So, technically this is also going to take the place of the last of the FanFiction journals for this time. Basically, what happened is I finished writing the In the Morning Light material for this quarter, but didn’t get it typed until a few minutes ago. And, I wrote and typed a Cold Lunch chapter last night. So, yeah, we’re pretty close to being finished with the second quarter of Cold Lunch. It’s not as far along as I would like it to be; but then, there are a lot of things that aren’t where I would like them to be.

Like right now, I would much rather be rich and sleeping in a bed with four posters, and a huge dragon carved into a relief over our bed. That just seems like it would be a lot cooler than living in the dinky little trailer we do now. If I had a camera, I wouldn’t show you pictures of it, mainly because, it’s a mess, and I don’t mean our stuff is a mess. The trailer is a wreck, and about the best thing that could be done with it is a good bonfire. I probably shouldn’t say that in a public forum, but it’s been said.

Now, what else was important about today? I don’t know. Nothing really I guess; just another day in the neighborhood where I try to avoid my neighbors as much as possible. It’s not because I don’t like them (I don’t like them), it’s mainly because I’m afraid of getting shot if I go knocking on doors. And, I really don’t have much of a social life, so, yeah. I’ll just stick to sticking with myself.

And, this is the point where my brain shuts down completely, because it’s too tired to function properly. Of course, I guess I’ll hit that point much quicker tomorrow. I have to work, and with the back pain and all, working just beats the effing hell out of me. I know a lot of people say that, and I’m no different. But, I’ve worked as a taxi driver for almost ten months, and now I’m back on my feet and bent over all the time, and sweating like a pig, over the grill at McDonalds.  It’s making everything hurt. Though I should use this time to start exercising, that might be a good way to keep from hurting so much twice. Lol.

Anywho, I’m going to leave you, with two sets of stats today. And, I’m going to go to bed.

Ryan

Cold Lunch

Stats:

                Snowflake Completion: Done

                Pages Written Today: 4

                Pages Written Total: 123

                Pages Typed Today: 6

                Pages Typed Total: 216

                Word Count Today: 1,980

                Word Count Total: 59,675

In the Morning Light

3^rd Quarter Report

                Pages written total: 69

                Chapters/Scenes: 21

                Word Count: 34,314

Final note: I would just like to point out, that In the Morning Light has exceeded the amount of words I expected when I started. Starting Goal was 33,600 with an average of 1200 words per scene. Current total is 34,314 with an average of 1,634 words per scene. If I keep going at that rate I’ll add another 11,438 with the final quarter of In the Morning light. This will put the final total at 45,752 with a total difference of 12,152 words between the target goal, and the actual count. In the Morning Light is almost at the point where it can be classified as a novel. I’m thoroughly impressed with myself. Lol.

Cold Lunch project journal #38

A hiatus I will take.

I finally finally, after almost a week of working on it, I finally got through Chapter 40. I don’t know what the problem was. The scene was really no different than any of the other scenes that came before it. And, I don’t want to use the problems I’ve had throughout the week as an excuse as to why I didn’t get the writing done. I know people are going to disagree with it, but I feel that a person should be able to write no matter what is going on.

And, I think that there are only two types of days. Good writing days, where you get the work done quickly. And, bad writing days, where the work comes slowly, but you still get it done. And, I’ve broken that belief every day this week. It makes me feel like shit.

Now, I really don’t know what else I was going to talk about.

Went to the brain doctor on Tuesday, and got a new med for the brain.

Went to the regular doctor on Wednesday, and got a med for the back.

Been pissed about work, because of the hours.

Damn, I really need to find my jar of random topics. I just don’t have anything today.

So, I guess I’m just going to check out, now.

Ryan

Stats:

                Snowflake Completion: Done

                Pages Written Today: 4

                Pages Written Total: 119

                Pages Typed Today: 6

                Pages Typed Total: 209

                Word Count Today: 2,041

                Word Count Total: 57,715

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Cold Lunch project journal #37

I want quiet.

I want to take a nap. Has that ever happened to you all? It happens to me all the time. But, I have this nasty habit of not being able to sleep at night after I nap. This typically doesn’t bother me, but I’ve got doctor’s appointments to go too. Isn’t that just the best news of all?

Anywho, about writing, I did absolutely nothing yesterday. I was wiped out, and took a nap, then got in bed like two hours after I napped. So, there wasn’t much time to do anything. Hell, I didn’t even look at the outline I’ve been doing for my new bookish sort of thing.

I am excited about that though, about my new little story. Technically, it will be a novel, but only in the very loosest sense. It’s going to be a children’s Chapter Book, and the thing that I find most strange about that is the word count requirement.  It’s 12,000 words, well up to 12,000 words, and they suggest the story be like a message, a lesson or a moral, that sort of thing. And, I really don’t think that way. I don’t think that way when I’m working. I’m writing to entertain. And, I typically have nothing major I want to get across to other people. I just want to entertain them, and I think the story I’ve got planned out is going to be entertaining :)

It’s a story about Bunnies. A story about Zombie Bunnies. And, that’s going to be the bulk of the things that I’m going to say now. Lol.

As for Cold Lunch, I didn’t write yesterday, but the day before I managed to crank out a scene, just one, but it was 2,000 words long. So I did feel good about that.

Anyway, that’s it for me. Let’s see if I can get some real writing done. Lol.

Ryan

Stats:

                Snowflake Completion: Done

                Pages Written Today: 6

                Pages Written Total: 115

                Pages Typed Today: 6

                Pages Typed Total: 202

                Word Count Today: 2,031

                Word Count Total: 55,673

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Cold Lunch project journal #35

A tale of two scenes.

Yep, I’m damn proud of myself. I got two scenes written today :) I would like to do a third, but it is now 2am, and my wife would be rather upset with me if I stayed up another two hours to write another scene.

Meh.

I also did something I rarely do. Instead of hand writing the scene, I typed the whole of it. Just sat down and started pecking away. Would have been cool to do it on my typewriter, but then I’d have to retype it into the computer, and I’m out of typewriter ribbon anyway. I need to buy some of that.

Anyway, the point of that statement is simply that typing the scene straight into the computer would save me a complicated step, and possibly increase the speed at which this novel is produced. Or something like that.

But, then, I kind of like the aesthetics of hand writing and working late into the night. Though I really need to take into account how long it’s taking to get these things done. In fact, I still have a novel that I haven’t typed a single word of. Before I can even start a second draft on that one I’m going to need to type it. So, I think I’m going to make typing the official medium of Mr. Ryan Smith.

I also had an awesome idea for a kid’s book, comic book, sort of thing. I dunno. I’m not going to share it here, cause I don’t think the idea for the book has developed well enough. I will say, however, that it is inspired by the Bunnicula books, which I still need to read.

Anywho, that’s all for me tonight.

Ryan

Stats:

                Snowflake Completion: Done

                Pages Written Today: 8

                Pages Written Total: 100

                Pages Typed Today: 10

                Pages Typed Total: 183

                Word Count Today: 3,244

                Word Count Total: 50,321

PS: I am now almost halfway to my word count goal. I think this book might turn out to be longer than I expected. For instance I’m still 10 scenes/chapters away from where I’ve got “the middle” of the book. So, I kind of think I’m running over my estimated word count with just about every scene. Lol.

Cold Lunch project journal #34

I’m shorting out.

I think that’s a pretty good topic for today, seeing as I’ve set down to write and now my brain seems to be leaking out of my ears. I dunno, I just seem to be unable to think at the moment. Hell, I can’t even think to try and write my blog post.

I should have bought some Excedrin while I was at Walmart yesterday. Normally, I treat this blockage like a headache (since really, that’s what it is) and the Excedrin kicks its ass and I get on with my life. Today I have no Excedrin.

So, I guess I’m going to try and write my way through the block. Today might be a longer post than we’re used to here in Ryan World.

Now, what I’ve got up my crawl at the moment is the loss of two of my outlines. And, what’s funny is the fact that they  disappeared before we started to move. One was for a children’s/middle-grade novella/novel I was going to write called Dead Handy.  And, the other was an Epic I was going to work on, a zombie novel based on Dante’s Inferno. I was going to call it Inferno. Lol. And, I was thinking about serializing it and self-publishing it. Most of the time traditional publishers won’t touch Epics. Unless they’re by big name authors. There’s usually not much money in it considering the costs of production, and the market and what not. Of course I could be wrong there, but I think I’m kinda right. Anyway, they were both books I was really excited about working on, and now the outlines are gone; which means I’m going to have to rewrite the outlines, and I’m going to worry that the outlines I come up with now aren’t going to be as good as the outlines I originally had. Not logical I know, but still something I’m bound to worry about. Hell, I’m even considering not redoing the outlines for that specific reason. And, they were books I was really excited about. Good lord, I don’t even know anymore.

Anyway, on Cold Lunch, I got the rest of what I’ve got written typed. So, I do have stats for today. Work just kicked my ass yesterday, and I didn’t get anything written. Hell, I got out of the shower last night just after 8 o’clock and got in bed. Went straight to sleep. Mel told me I was dead to the world when she got in bed, and I don’t even remember her getting in bed.

And, I was supposed to work today, but I went in and they told me they didn’t need me and sent me home. So, driving to Logan this morning was a serious waste of time. Oh well, I came home and I got back into bed. Then when Mel got me up for the second time I was much crankier than the first. So, I realized that when I have something to do, getting me up is easy. But, when there’s nothing to do, I might as well be a bear crawling out of its cave after a long winter.

Anywho, I think I’ve worked through my blockage pretty well, and now I’m going to get on with the writing.

Ryan

Stats:

                Snowflake Completion: Done

                Pages Written Today: 0

                Pages Written Total: 92

                Pages Typed Today: 4

                Pages Typed Total: 172

                Word Count Today: 1,504

                Word Count Total: 47,076

As for advertising today, the new chapter of In the Morning Light up, and if you don’t mind swing by The Out of Towner and tell her, her ending sucks and she needs to add more to it. And, go to In the End, There was Love and tell her she needs to update more of the story…NOW. Thank you for doing so, and have a nice day.

Cold Lunch project journal #33

In which I feel like an ass.

Yeah, I really don’t actually have a reason for that title. So, far as I can tell I’ve done nothing ass worthy today, it just seemed like the thing to say at the time.

As for having anything else relevant to say…

That doesn’t happen often for me. Having something relevant to say I mean. I usually just let my fingers do what they want, and I think I talked about that some yesterday.

Anywho, the schedule for our real new place just got moved up, by a whole frigging lot. Our neighbors, who are awesome people, are going to let us rent their trailer when they get their new modular home set up. Originally they weren’t supposed to get the house until March. Today we found out that they’re getting the modular home next week. So, yeah, that feels like awesome news!!!

In regards to Cold Lunch, I’ve done pretty much nothing but type today. I wrote one scene, and typed all but the scene I wrote. Lol. I’m also going to have to take another early hiatus from Cold Lunch for a few days. Just long enough for me to get more material written for In the Morning Light. I won’t be taking the hiatus until after Friday. Then I’ll have only one more post left for In the Morning Light, and I’ve only got to write seven scenes to finish out the next quarter of the fanfic.

Other than all that, I’m really out of things to say. And, I’m going to bed now.

Ryan

Stats:

                Snowflake Completion: Done

                Pages Written Today: 3

                Pages Written Total: 92

                Pages Typed Today: 18

                Pages Typed Total: 167

                Word Count Today: 5,467

                Word Count Total: 45,571

And, I can’t think of any cute little advertisements for tonight. So, later kids.

Cold Lunch project journal #31

Been a while.

So, it’s been a little while since I last posted, and I really don’t have a reason for why I haven’t. I could say it’s because I felt sick the other day, and while I did feel sick I could have typed for fifteen minutes to get a blog post out. I did however, go to bed at like seven o’clock that day. So, maybe being sick wasn’t really an excuse. And, yesterday I was just plain worn out from work and in a large amount of pain. I did little more than sit on the heating pad, and finish the half scene I wrote the day before. And, until today that’s all the writing I’d done since I last did a blog post.

Today, however, I was super productive, I got two and a half scenes done, which is one scene more than my typical quota. And, in the hopes of getting this book done just a little bit faster, I’m going to keep trying to do two and a half scenes on my days off. I really don’t want to tax myself that much on the days I have to work. Might be a good way to burn myself out on writing.

I plan on getting this quarter finished this week (if I can keep up with the two and a half thing on my day’s off, I should be able to), then I’ll take a break for a day or two, and start writing the third quarter of In the Morning Light. I’ve only got two more weeks of already written material. And, I was really hoping to have more than the second quarter of Cold Lunch done before I had to write more of In the Morning Light. But, my plans have this way of not working. Might be because I’m lazy, but I really try not to be.

Anywho, I have one last thing. My friend Jenna lost one of her friends this last week. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Ryan

Stats:

                Snowflake Completion: Done

                Pages Written Today: 13 (over last 4 days)

                Pages Written Total: 89

                Pages Typed Today: 9 (Chapter’s 28 & 29 are all I’ve got typed, wrote up to C 32)

                Pages Typed Total: 148

                Word Count Today: 2,972

                Word Count Total: 40,103

I might be doing my math wrong, because I feel a little crazy about all of that. Who knows? But, I’m to lazy  to go through and double check.

Anywho, keep Jenna in your thoughts and prayers please.

Cold Lunch project journal #29

In which I am productive.

Hey cats and kids, I’ve managed to be a little productive in the last couple of days. It’s not the level of productivity I want, but some productivity is better than none.

Anywho, over the last three days (today I haven’t actually written anything), I’ve managed to write three scenes, but I’ve only made progress of two scenes into the story. Basically, the first scene I wrote was utter trash, so I pitched it, and rewrote it, and I love the second version so much more. I also wrote the second scene of the new corner, and that scene wasn’t half bad at all. Lol. It does go along with my whole ‘everything I write should be better than what came before it’ policy. Which I believe I just made up on the spot, but it sounds good, so, I’ll run with it.

As for other news, I will be starting a regular schedule on Thursday, 7-3, and with that schedule I hope to get my writing schedule lined out as well. That way I can get back into the proper swing of production.

And, on top of all that, I think I’m sick. Joy. Going to the doctor tomorrow, (well today, seeing as I’m writing this at 3am), hopefully it won’t be the flu or anything like that. I don’t want to have to take sick time as soon as I start working. I know they can’t fire me for being sick, but I was just starting to feel good about making money again.

Also, I believe I’m going to ask if there’s anything they can do about my back pain. It gets worse every day, whether I’m working or not. Ibuprofen doesn’t touch it, and it’s really starting to interfere with my sleep schedule (hence the whole writing this at three am thing).

I start a lot of my blog post sentences with the letter A. I just noticed that, and I wonder if it’s a good or a bad thing. Shrug.

So, for now, I’m going to shut up, and see if I can get back to sleep.

Ryan

Stats:

                Snowflake Completion: Done

                Pages Written Today: 7

                Pages Written Total: 71

                Pages Typed Today: 9

                Pages Typed Total: 128

                Word Count Today: 2,703

                Word Count Total: 34,459

As for advertising, Taste the Rainbow.