Saturday, June 1, 2013

Journal 5-31-13

I did it!

I finally managed to actually do it!

And, you’re a perv…

Anyway, I managed to do my list of things to do one right after the other. I just took my walk, did my hygiene duties, and now I’m sitting at my computer writing my blog post. I feel accomplished.

I just don’t know what to talk about now. I’ve been giving you “a day in the life of” sort of posts since I came back from the beyond. My views jumped sky high (for me anyway) and now they’ve dropped back down to 15 or 16 a day.

What happened?

Do I not post enough funny pictures about cats?

Or do I bitch too much?

I probably bitch too much. I’m good at that.

I am going to think of an interesting topic though. Right now… it’s going to be a good one… and all I can think of is the dude who ate the homeless guy’s face down in Florida. I’m not sure if that’s an interesting topic anymore or not. I think it’s creepy as hell, but it’s just one of those insane things that people do. There was another story that came out around the same time as the “face eater” and it was a guy who was cutting open his stomach for some reason, and when the police tried to help him, he started throwing his intestines at the cops. What the hell?

I don’t know.

What goes through these people’s minds? Do they plan this shit? Or is it completely random? And, if it’s random, what breaks in the brain to make it happen? And, I think we see those sort of issues on a small scale each and every day. I don’t mean people who are going to eat your face, or throw intestines at you, but what about the people who cut and burn themselves? Is the pain a release? A cry for help? What makes you want to do such a thing?

I had an experience similar to that before. I’ve got a huge burn on my hand that I tell everyone is because I touched my hand to a hot engine block. But, it’s not an accidental burn. It was a cigarette, one that was applied time and time and time again until there was no way to feel the pain I was inflicting. I can tell you now, I don’t know why I didn’t. It was like I wasn’t me, and I was just watching it happen, like it was on television.

Is that what happens when somebody cuts, or burns? Do they watch themselves do it from the outside, like they’re watching some person, some other, destroy their skin and send pain travelling up and down their arm? Is that a release?

I didn’t feel any sort of release after my burn. I looked at my hand and knew it should hurt, but I didn’t feel anything. I didn’t gain anything from the situation except for a scar I lie about. And, now, the scar breeds empty curiosity. I look at it and think; why did I do that? Was there a reason? Was there ever a reason? I don’t know the answers to those questions.

And, that became a really serious topic without me meaning too. I’m sorry about that.

Anywho, I am currently working on typing my next Hub, so the link will be on my Facebook page tomorrow at some point. If twitterfeed doesn’t do it automatically, then I’ll go in and post it by hand. Also on the writing front, I’ve got most of another article written :) I still haven’t worked on Cold Lunch. I think I’m avoiding it. I dunno.

That’s all for today. I shall talk to you cats later.


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