Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Journal Excerpt 5-3-14

I don't normally do this, and it's not something that's going to become a habit, it just so happens that I had a really bright moment in my journal the other day. It was a moment that I thought was deep and profound, but I'm not sure if it will work that way in the light of day.

Anywho, here we go:

“I'm exhausted. I want to go to sleep. I want to go home. I want, I want, I want... I irritate myself sometimes. And, ya know, I really must not want to get ahead in life. If I did I believe I'd be busting my ass a little bit harder to get Cold Lunch written.”

(This section obviously isn't the deep profound moment. It's the way I start out a journal entry on a typical work day. And, yes, I do talk to myself in my journal... or something to that effect.)

“Why can't this shit be easy?”

“Well, writing is easy for you. You're a naturally creative person who can pretty much turn it on and off like a light switch.”

“I wouldn't go that far with it...”

“I would. There's proof on your f***ing computer that you can do this shit and you're sitting here whining about it. All you need to do to get this novel done is put some effort into it. If you spend half the time writing that you spend whining you'd have the book finished.”

“I'm not going to beat up on ya for the past. (Same speaker, new paragraph.) You didn't do this or that, yadda yadda yadda. You can't go back and change that. The only thing you can do now is change the future. You an only work with the here and now. The past is just that, the past, it's passed you by, it's gone, quit trying to go back to it. I know you're thinking a “but”... Don't. Hit that bitch with a shovel right now, and focus on the future. Now, say it with me:

“The past is the past. It's done and gone and I can't change it. The only thing I can do is live in the here and now. The only thing I can do is keep this shovel with me, and keep carrying on. Keep calm and carry on. And, always remember: Bitches love shovels.”

And, yeah, I felt that was kind of deep. At least I think it was for me. Anywho, that's all from me.

Later kids.



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